Defeat is humbling.
I know this from myriad experiences, and trying to compose myself and my thoughts for a blog post that asks you to delve into the past is now one of them. I have been trying to figure out why, and the best I can come up with is exhaustion or stress, but both of those sound like excuses so I am reluctant to use them. Suffice it to say, although I am down, I am not out; I intend to post that blog at some point and when I do, it will be specfreakingtacular.
( Btw--if you have no idea what I'm going on about it's this: I had an idea for a blog post that was going to ask you to recreate a past event for the purposes of changing something--but there's a lot more to it than that)
So for now, onward and upward, and by that I mean let's talk about something else.
Based on some of the snippets of convos I've heard, and been a part of, not to mention those lists (sorry Tayla), college is a stressful topic.
Figuring out what you want to do, where you want to go, who you want to be...daunting questions, one and all. And somehow, some way, you're expected to have those answers at the ripe ol' age of 18--even though science tells us that you have not fully formed your decision-making skills by then-- something to do with the amygdala or whatever, but although it seems silly because of that, you're still expected to do it.
So, this week's blog is meant to start you on the road to discovery, and hopefully, that discovery will begin to morph into a kind of map that you can use to navigate through the rest of your high school careers. There are only three questions, which means my expectation is that they will all be INCREDIBLY, ARTFULLY, STYLISTICALLY, UNBELIEVABLY developed. I'm talking sensory, descriptive detail, strong doing verbs, a healthy mix of active and passive voice, maybe a lit device here and there...No pressure. :)
I promise, these questions all have a psychological undertone that can help you figure out some stuff--trust me.
1. Of what are you most proud in your room?
2. For what would you like to win a Nobel prize? (categories include: World Peace, Literature, Chemistry, Medicine)
3. What have you always wanted to learn: academically, spiritually, and emotionally/mentally?
These questions are not for the faint of heart--be brave, scholars. Self-exploration is a tangled maze of competing notions, confusing rules, and raging hormones. It's an arduous journey; one that requires Herculean honesty, and really good map-reading skills (that's what cartography is--the science of drawing maps). But, I promise, it'll be worth it.And, I don't take or make promises lightly.
Noooo!!! In your list of Nobel prizes, you forgot the most important one, the Nobel Prize in Physics, and you also forgot about the Nobel Prize in Economics (although it is understandable to forget about that one).
ReplyDeleteSo, anyway, I am in my room right now. Alas, I am not that which I am most proud of in my room. I look around and see no trophies, medals, or awards of any kind. There are three book shelves: a big one full of books, mainly encyclopedias that I would use before my family acquired the internet when I went into high school, and two smaller ones each full of movies. I cannot be proud of them; I did not write those books and I did not direct those movies. I look somewhere else and see two fish tanks, each equipped with two heat lamps, a UV light, and two turtles along with their respective houses and food and water dishes. Could I be proud of them? In both of those tanks combined there are four turtles. There used to be five. They are a reminder of their sibling’s death, so when I look at them I am not in any way proud of myself. I am not proud of them either as all they do is eat, drink, sleep, and shit all day, which are hardly things which could be rewarded with the praise of “being proud” of them. I look in my closet: a bunch of Adidas sweatshirts and polos. My life has very little variety. I am not proud. I need to put down something for the sake of this assignment: the thing which I am most proud of in my room is the deodorant on my dresser. Even though I do not comb my hair before school and wear the same thing every day, at least I do not smell bad. For the sake of being proud of something, I am proud of my deodorant. It works; this nearly almost comes close to just about making me a little somewhat happy.
As already mentioned, two awards happen to be missing from that list, including the Nobel Prize I would want: the one for physics. The reason I would want this one is simply because I find Physics the most interesting out of the six (not four) Nobel prizes. However, I find the prize for Literature the most important prize, as authors come the closest to truly pursuing the essence of what it means to be human. Physicists, Chemists, and people working with medicine search for answers; they have tangible goals while writers are tasked with something greater: discovering humanity. Of course, this could easily make the Nobel Prize for Literature the most controversial award (other than maybe the Peace Prize) as the goals of the Nobel laureates in Literature are so abstract that they are difficult to judge, while the discovery of the Higgs boson is, in itself, such a massive accomplishment that it merits a Nobel Prize in Physics without a second thought. The Nobel Prize for Literature, on the other hand, is much more difficult to judge—how exactly is one work of art any better than another? Therefore, personally, I would want a Nobel Prize in Physics but I have more respect for the Nobel Prize in Literature. (On a somewhat related note, I have immense respect for Sartre, a Marxist/Anarchist whom I love a lot, in part because of his two quotes, “Existence precedes and rules essence,” and “Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you,” and because he is one of only two people to turn down a Nobel Prize (he turned down the one in Literature). He famously said that a good writer should not allow himself to become an institution. Thus, Jean-Paul Sartre is a badass Anarchist who somehow worked his way into my blogpost.)
Academically, I have always wanted to learn everything. Once someone puts a limit on what he or she wants to learn (ex: “I want to learn chemistry”), he or she begins to learn much less than if he or she had not limited himself or herself to one subject. I do not want to specialize in one particular subject—alas, our society kind of forces us to—and would rather learn a great deal about many things rather than everything about one thing. Spiritually, I believe in the “God of the Gaps”. The “God of the Gaps” essentially refers to the idea that “God” is ignorance. Think about how Ra was the Egyptian reason for why the sun rose and how Thor was the Norse reason for why thunder existed. Ra and Thor were essentially the Egyptian and Norse incarnations of ignorance: once both cultures became knowledgeable about the sun and thunder, Ra and Thor disappeared. I believe this to be true about every deity that has ever existed. One of the most common God-of-the-Gaps today is the Christian God, and once humanity learns the answers to the questions this deity “answers” (the origins of the universe being the prime example), he (“He”) will disappear. My spiritual goal is to look “God” in the face and watch him fade away as humanity becomes less ignorant, learns to love itself (rather than engaging in petty religious warfare or, say, declaring war on itself in the names of terrorism and oil), and learns to accept the little which it does not know as “unknown” and does not give the unknown a face or make up answers to questions without known answers. Of course, humanity sucks and this will never happen. Finally, emotionally, I want to learn how not to be a robot. My gears keep getting rusty, so it would help if the gears did not exist in the first place.
DeleteMy apologies. I did, in fact, overlook those. I remain suitably chastised and my head is bowed in shame...
DeleteIn my room, there are frames of pictures of me and thumb tacks that hold pictures of me on the wall. It amazes me to what I have become. I am not in any way shape or form trying to be cocky, I just love seeing how I was then and comparing/contrasting it to how I am now. Until the 3rd grade, I did not know a lick of English. I was born in Bayamon, Puerto Rico. When we moved here, and I finally got to meet my aunt’s and uncle’s, I went from being called “nugget-head” to, by the age of 15, being smarter than just about all of them. And I do have cousins, and I am the youngest (still smarter than both of them though). And us 3 cousins have pictures from when I was first born to about 1 year ago when I last saw both of them at the same time. I just find it insane (in a good way) seeing how all 3 of us developed into the young men we are now (well not me I am still a kid on the inside). When I look at all these pictures I can re-live all the great experiences I have went through in my life and it just makes me happy I am able to look back at these moments. One other thing I am proud of in my room is the relationship I have. I also have pictures of Sierra and I all over my room (mostly because she puts them up, but occasionally I do too). I am glad I met her, and seeing what she has overcame inspires me. Seeing how right before we starting dating her grades were low and she always seemed depressed and then when we started dating, her having better grades than me and everyone telling her that she actually looks happy, makes me proud because I know I am the one behind both of those things. And I am proud of myself because I’ve helped a teenage mind comprehend how important the future is and how college isn’t a 4 year decision, it’s about a 50 year decision (claim). And I say that because the career you choose and study in college is the career you will probably maintain throughout your whole working life (that’s data to my claim— that should count as a lit term). I just hope that everyone understand how important these last 2 years of high school and the 4 or more years of college really are.
ReplyDeleteI would be honored to accept the Nobel Prize for medicine. Well not necessarily medicine, more towards radiology (because that’s what I am majoring in). In X-rays I want to be able to find minor injuries before they turn into life-changing injuries. I want to find a little crack in your spine before you have to be on a wheel chair for the rest of your life. Once I knew I was going into radiology I’ve had this dream. This dream that I was going to be the radiologist that saves a famous athlete from a career ending injury. For example, saving LeBron James’ son from missing his senior year in high school because of a torn achilles. Maybe, just maybe, with me preventing that his son could get the scholarship to his dream school and they might fund me for life (which honestly would be great because then I can have double the money). I would love a Nobel Prize, but honestly, that is not what I am out for. I chose my career to help people recover from injury by pointing out which bones or muscles are injured. I kind of want to be like the doctor from Trainwreck that is the doctor for almost all the sports superstars (which includes LeBron James, Amar’e Stoudemire, etc.)— (that’s another lit term, reference/analogy).
One thing I’ve always wanted to learn this the dawn of time (hyperbole) is the language Japanese. For some reason I’ve always been interested in the language and culture. I love Japanese food. Sakura’s is probably in my top 5 for best restaurants. I find it really cool that they don’t use common letters like in the English, Spanish and Italian language. They use a whole different script that honestly looks like little drawings for letters.
DeleteHere is house in japanese:
家
Like why can’t we have some cool script like that to mean house in our language? I just find everything about Japan interesting. I hope one day I can be able to learn some of the language and then travel there for a vacation.
さようならこれは私のブログの終わりです (how to say it: Sayōnara kore wa watashi no burogu no owaridesu) (translated: Bye this is the end of my blog).
My room at my mom's house the most thing I am proud of would have to be this one wall. It is the wall between the bathroom and my room separating my closet and entry to my room. It is completely turquoise and covered in pictures. They are not framed or separated but completely collaged and fulling. Two years ago I sent probably 200 pictures to Walmart to print and then when I brought them home I collaged them onto poster and then connected the posters onto my wall. Looking at all of the pictures every time I wake up I feel proud. I feel proud because of the transformation that I have made since freshman year. I feel proud for all of the friendships I have kept. I feel proud because of the entire day I spent slaving over that wall. And I feel proud because I have so many people I love and who love me pictured on that wall.
ReplyDeleteAt my dad's house I recently moved into my new room in the basement and I gotta say the most thing I am proud of is my ikea storage bed. Not to toot my own horn or anything but I put together my queen size IKEAAAA storage bed. Just know that I sat in my basement day after day putting together something I never even thought would ever be completed. It took forever putting things together and then taking them apart after realizing I read the pictures wrong and attached the wrong pieces. I have never felt so accomplished after finishing my bed and putting my new mattress on it and making the room feel complete.
Personally if I am being completely honest I will be happy winning any of the Nobel Prizes!! Well out of those four I can start off by crossing off Literature and Chemistry because God only knows the world would probably be ending if I was the one awarded those and out of the six that Bryan mentioned I can also cross off Physics and Economics. So that leaves me with the Nobel Prize of World Peace and Medicine. Both of these prizes would fulfill my life goals that I mentioned in my previous blog. I want to make a difference in this world and have enough money where I can comfortably donate to foundations and people who need it most. If I won the Nobel Prize in either Medicine or World Peace that would mean I was successful in making a difference in this world before my life is over.
Academically I would love to be fluent in other languages but specifically sign language. Although it isn't used as often as Spanish or Latin on the stats I am fascinated by sign language and how people use hand signals to communicate. Also as I was thinking about sign language I thought "hey what about Braille?" I am a little weird in the fact that I prepare myself for possible problems. So I would love to learn sign language just in case either a loved one or myself goes deaf as well as learning Braille just in case I go blind. I have also practiced opening doors with my feet or elbow just I case I lose my hands. Ugh I have practiced walking around my house with my eyes closed and doing many other random and weird things to prepare myself for things I hope will never happen. I am weird I know.
Spiritually I want to learn how to become at peace. I have almost fully become at peace with my figure and not having the curves that I used to get made fun of for not having. I have become more comfortable with myself but every time I am at yoga they always say "clear your mind". I want to learn how to calm myself and find peace within myself.
Emotionally and mentally my biggest thing is public speaking. I want so badly to learn how to be a confident public speaker. I want so badly to learn how to not sound like I am crying when I speak. I want so badly to learn how to look happy when I am speaking. I know that public speaking is just a mini fear which I really should not have because I love the kids in my class and I know none of them will judge me but for some reason public speaking makes my heart race. Overall I cannot wait for the future and what it holds and what I will accomplish in the upcoming years.
My room is a disaster area. My chair, which is not for sitting anymore, is overflowing with clothes, which are then spilling on the floor. My drawers are pulled out and broken hangers are scattered all over my carpet. My bed is made, though. I can't sleep in an unmade bed.
ReplyDeleteIn Breyoncé's Cool Place, (that's what the sign says on my door), I'm the most proud of my picture wall. Starting in the eighth grade, I discovered that photos deserve to be displayed and not hidden away in a photo album. So I took down all my posters-not my Camp Rock, High School Musical 2, and Zac Efron ones though, they simply migrated to a different wall- and started putting my pictures up with pieces of scotch tape rolled up on the backs. Soon, I graduated to actual picture frames and collage frames. Those are harder to hang up, but they're worth it because they make my room look nicer. My pictures range from me and Camryn Kaenzig at the fifth grade graduation thing and the skating rink, to me, Haley, Teagen, Abby and Jess on New Years Eve freshmen year. My concert pictures and tickets take a small corner of my wall, and I'm not about to count all these pictures, but there's still room for more memories.
I'm surely not about to win a Nobel prize in physics; physics is not the type of science you can memorize like chemistry and biology. You have to understand physics in order to be good at it and you can't fake it. If I were to receive a Nobel prize, it would probably a Nobel peace prize. I don't know how I'd win it because all of the recipients so far have done really big things, but when I was younger, I always wanted to make an organization that helps recognize the rights of children. It is illegal for children to run away, but some parents prove to be incompetent and leave their children with no other choice. I don't know if you win an award for trying to ensure the safety of others, but I'd like to do it anyway.
Academically, I want to learn big words. I really like when people ask me what words mean and I like to sound smart. I also want to learn how to talk to people. Communication is key in whatever job you have. Spiritually, I want to know what heaven looks like, or if there even is one. I go to church every Sunday and listen to the pastor and all that fun stuff, but none of that is visual; it's all based on faith. I want to be certain. Emotionally and mentally, I want stability. I don't want all these crazy hormones and feelings anymore. I just want to be content forever.
In my room, there is a build-a-bear desk that I have dedicated the whole left side to my skincare/makeup collection. It is what I’m most proud of because I keep my collection clean and organized, and the products are used daily. I’m easily distracted and a very avid procrastinator, and somehow those traits are reflected in the rest of my room. On my floor, there are random textbooks laying around along with strands of hair that I can never see because I don’t really wear my glasses in my room. In the corner made from the wall and where my bedframe hits, I have all my unfinished knitting projects slumped in a pile, waiting for who knows how long until I pick them up again and finish them. On the adjacent wall, I have a long Ikea cubby where I keep all of my miscellaneous supplies such as books, lint rollers, old receipts, beads, threads, a matryoshka doll, yarn, knitting needles, contact lenses, contact cases, facial masks, a trophy, polyester fiberfill. On top of the cubby, I keep all of my folded laundry that I can never seem to bother to organize and place in my closet. They sit there for weeks before my mom finally explodes and forces me to hide them away in the back of my closet, but eventually the pile emerges once again. The clothes bother my mom a lot, but if you look at it from my bed, it’s actually like a little fabric mountain mosaic from all the different textures and colors of fabrics. I don’t know, it it’s a nice contrast against the stark eggshell coloured walls that I was never allowed to paint, but maybe that’s just an excuse to not clean. Speaking of my bed, I never actually “make” it either. I find that fixing it up to look pretty is pointless when I’m going to mess it up again later when I sleep. So compared to the rest of room, the left side of my build-a-bear is the representation of my better qualities.
ReplyDeleteA Nobel Prize for Medicine would be be my ultimate life goal. I find it so fascinating how far medicine has progressed in such a short time and how many diseases have been defeated with vaccines or the latest breakthrough. Just like how we have explored 5% of the ocean, we have barely reached the tip of the iceberg in medicine. Over the course of my life, many scientists will create life-changing products that will improve the quality of life, and maybe even save some, for millions of people. I would love to contribute to that effort.
Academically, I’ve always wanted to take Chinese classes. I never had to opportunity like the rest of my family to attend Chinese class, so my Chinese sucks compared to everybody else in my family. I want to be able to communicate better with family members who aren’t so great with English, and bond over Chinese dramas that everybody’s watching (excluding me because I have the vocabulary of a three year old).
Spiritually, I want to figure out what I believe in. I learn towards being agnostic, but I’m not totally sure. Sometimes, I want to believe in Buddha and reincarnation, but I don’t know. I’m conflicted and I want to find some peace.
Emotionally, I have no idea how to connect with or understand my feelings. So I guess I want to be in tuned with my feelings. Mentally, I wish I could handle attention better. I always blush mad hard whenever I’m the center of attention, and I wish I could stop. Even with my OPs, I’m totally fine with sharing my thoughts with all of the langers, but I get nervous and blush and my voice trembles. It sucks.
My room looks like it was made for a 12 year old and even though I look 12 it just doesn’t cut it anymore. I had my dad redo it 2 years ago and I swore that it was a “grown up room” but my glow in the dark ceiling stars and purple walls say otherwise. I don’t even really like the color purple. Pink is my favorite color. I don’t know what I was thinking at the time but I was obviously on something. My name going across my wall in colorful letters really helps if I forget my name or something but I’ve had it there since I was 5 so I just can’t let them go. But anyways, my room is just a big cube filled with a bunch of things I have collected through the years, I should probably get rid of some of it but that probably won’t happen. But out of all the things in my room, the thing I am most proud of is my hammock. I bought this hammock last january and forgot that it was going to have to be somehow bolted into the ceiling so after it finally came in the mail I was so excited but immediately after all the excitement I got really upset and was like well now what? I can’t hang this up so now it’s just going to sit in my room. And that’s exactly what happened, it sat in the corner of my room for a billion days and I really just had no clue what to do with it. Luckily, Casper is pretty handy and knew exactly how to hang it up, but too bad he “didn’t feel like doing it”. So from January to April it was rolled up on the floor and I had no use for it. What a great purchase. But to my surprise, in the middle of april I went on two back to back trips from ohio to florida and when I came back THE FRICKEN HAMMOCK WAS HUNG UP. It was the best day of my life. I spent the next hour sitting in it and then I got such bad motion sickness that I almost threw up. Ever since then I don’t really sit in it much because I will probably vomit if I do but it’s nice for decoration. I am very proud of myself for buying the hammock though because it serves as a great spot to take selfies and that's all that matters.
ReplyDeleteIf I could win a nobel prize for anything it would definitely have to be for medicine. Incase you didn’t already know, I’m about 99% sure that I am already a doctor. Every time one of my friends are sick I usually diagnose them myself and sometimes I’m actually right. I really like learning about medicine and how to cure illnesses and such so if I could ever go for a nobel prize it would have to be for medicine. After my 12 years of college to become an anesthesiologist I expect to atleast get rewarded with something so a nobel prize would probably be good enough to congratulate me for my accomplishments. I could also go for one in chemistry but medicine seems like it fits me more. Although, I could never go for one in literature since I have the reading and writing skills of a 3rd grader and I could never have one for world peace because I am to crazy for that one and I can never be calm for even 2 seconds so world peace wouldn’t be too easy for me.
I really enjoy learning but it’s very hard for me to learn things that I don’t already understand. That makes no sense but what I mean is that since I understand math, it’s very easy for me to learn new skills in it even though they are hard, but since I am pretty good at math I can easily figure out new concepts. But when it comes to reading and writing I just get lost in the sauce. Since I have never been good at it, it is impossible for me to learn something new in that subject. Like I can learn what active and passive voice is but I can never apply it to my writing when I am told to. I can’t apply new concepts to my work when it is for reading or writing but as soon as you switch it to math I’m fine and can do all the math problems in the world. So if I could learn anything academically it would be to learn how to read and write at the proper level, and not at a 3rd grade level.
DeleteWhat I want to learn spiritually is how to meditate. I really have no clue how tf people do that. I would either fall asleep or I would be too hyper to even sit there for longer than 30 seconds. It seems like a really good skill to have when you are stressed out so you can calm down but I really have no clue how people have the time and patience to do it all the time. Half the time I can barely sit still and the other half of the time I’m usually passed out. So meditation isn’t really something I would be able to do on my own so learning how to do it would be pretty cool.
Emotionally and mentally I would love to learn how to shut up in certain situations. I’m always talking up a storm and people are probably sick of my annoying ass voice blabbing 24/7. Half the time my words get me into situations I shouldn’t even have gotten into and I wouldn’t have gotten in them if I had just shut up but that’ll never happen. So if I could just learn how to shut tf up sometimes that would be pretty cool.
ReplyDeleteMost of the things in my room are very juvenile. Mostly because my room is fit for a groovy, diva 5th grader. It’s a total groovy room. Since my room has yet to be redone, my favorite things include my nunchucks from my karate years, my batons from drill team and my recorder from 4th grade music class. These are my favorite things because they are sentimental to my childhood. Karate, twirling the batons, music, along with many other involvements throughout my years, link me to my childhood. They are also all things I can still utilize when someone asks “Do you have any talents?” Although these items easily distract me while attempting to clean my room, they are fun, meaningful and I’m proud to have them.
I’ve never thought of winning a Nobel prize until now. Since I want to go into the medical field, the prize would obviously be in Medicine. I would like to win a Nobel prize for a cancer cure or any other remarkable medical discovery. It would be so fulfilling to make a landmark discovery such as one awarded with a Nobel prize. This seems so far out of my reach but it would be truly incredible.
Academically, I want to learn everything I can. In school, I try to absorb as much information as I can but, it seems nearly impossible. For example, in APUSH I attempt to memorize every war, every battle and every military general. Not only is this time consuming in a busy schedule like mine, but, it’s also challenging. This year sometimes I feel like my brain has reached its full capacity. It’s really hard to learn new things and not forget the old. Overall, I just want to learn as much as I can in every subject. In lang, I want to learn how to write a synthesis essay properly. I want to learn how to make an effective argument without getting shut down. I also want to learn as many lit terms as possible because they’re actually fun.
Spiritually, I have so much to learn. Eventually, I want to read the whole bible. I’ve downloaded and redownloaded the Bible app on my phone several times but I never seem to avidly read it. It’s always sporadic and never straight through. Along with this, I want to learn more deeply about life, its meaning and why bad things happen to good people. I want to further understand God’s plan, my purpose on this planet and furthermore.
Mentally and emotionally, I want to learn how to interpret my own feelings. In school, we always learn to second-guess ourselves. We are taught to check our work and to always re-read everything. Although this seems useful and can be applied to other areas, in relationships this has done me a disservice. I always reread and reinterpret text messages and overanalyze simple conversations. While sometimes this allows me to reconsider perspectives, tones of voice and even pick up some grammatical errors, I find myself convincing myself of things that aren’t true. With this considered, I want to learn how to be more emotionally strong and certain in my feelings. Mentally, I want to learn how to fill my brain with more positive and less belittling thoughts. I notice that in sports and really anywhere, whenever I make a mistake I roast myself in my head. I’ll say “wtf Jess” and start to think about my mistake. Basically my mind screws me over and I wish it had an off switch. So in a synopsis, I would like to control my thoughts, regulate how much I analyze and fill my head with positive, certain things.
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ReplyDeleteIn my 13ft x 11ft room, I have a book collection, my pageant ribbons, my karate medals hanging from my lamp, and a cork board that holds valuable pictures. All of those items, hold a very special place in my heart. My mom introduced me to books- not the Dr. Seuss books or the alphabet books, I’m talking chapter books- the big girl books, if you will. I’ve read all my books in my collection, including the ones Jennie Lynn has given me. They all range from romance to action novels. I do not read spin-chilling novels. After reading some in Hess, I’ve grown to broaden my horizon with books and get into other genres. I love reading. I could sit in bed, with coffee or tea (depends how I feel), all day with a book I’ve read or a new book, and finish it. I am one of those people who enjoy the books over the movies. Books hold way more details, they don’t leave out parts, you could highlight phrases that you love or fold down pages if you want to come back to it later. Now, onto my pageant days. They didn’t last long, but I was one of those babies that had a personal photographer. Little Ol’ me was offered a photoshoot in NY, but my mom turned it down because I was a stage 5 clinger and needed her wherever I went. But, I did earn trophies and ribbons. I take pride in those, even though my pageant career didn’t last long. It was part of who I am. Onward, and upward- my karate medals. Yes, I took karate. From the earliest you could join, you can bet my dad had me in there. I managed to earn my brown belt, after 8 years of suffering of pain and a little enjoyment. I was one belt away from earning my black belt. Of course, I could go back and earn it, but I would have to review all of the kata’s and techniques from the moment I started, and that’s a lot. The test for the black belt is an 8 hour test. Compacted in it, is a 3 mile running course and a whole lot of sparring and defensive techniques. I’m not back in it right now, because of the things I have going on, just as a junior in highschool. Plus, all the other things human beings endure. But, I would have earned my black belt if I hadn’t gotten surgery on my foot- twice. I had posterior- tendinous. Which is a big, fancy word for swelling of the tendons. I had surgery when I was 11 and was out of karate for a year, got back into it and needed surgery again, and never managed to get back into it. But, I do want to earn my black belt. Lastly, my pictures. Pictures of my friends, boyfriend, and my family. I love looking at them and being able to say how lucky I am to have these people in my life. They all mean so much to me, it’s unexplainable.
ReplyDeleteIf I had a choice, I would want to win a Nobel Peace Prize in Medicine. That would be amazing if I could scratch off “winning a Nobel Peace Prize” on my bucket list. If, it was on there. But, I pick this because it could be medicine that is saving hundreds of lives. Helping people, means so much to me. It doesn’t matter if they gave me nothing in return. Their health, their happiness, is all I would need. Even though medicine is not the career path, I’m interested in, it does fall into what I want to do. I want to be a Neonatal Nurse. Having a medicine background would tremendously help. I could save people’s life, and that, to me, is pretty freaking awesome.
Academically, I would love to be fluent in 2 other different languages. Spanish and American Sign Language. Now, I do know some Spanish and some Sign Language. Of course, the Spanish comes from school, but the Sign Language comes from my older sister. When I was younger, we would always sign. But, since she has gotten her hearing implant, she only signs with her deaf friends. I only know a tiny bit of Sign Language, but I would love to learn all of the signs. Mentally, I would love to be able to speak in public. I can’t do it to save my life. I get nervous, my hands start to sweat, and my voice is shaky. I need to learn to conquer that, take some breathing courses or learn a way to relax. But, altogether, I cannot wait to see what my future holds.
I've been looking at more books to get you. Good books to come, my dear, good books to come.
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ReplyDeleteFor those who don’t know me, I am highly organized.
ReplyDeleteAnyone who has entered my room, can explain to you how organized it is. The first thing you all should know is that no one is allowed in my room with their shoes on. That is a big NO NO in the Hamler household. In fact, my mother will usually makes all guests take their shoes off as soon as they enter the door. (If you are caught wearing shoes, my mother will go off, so walk at your own risk). Another thing you all should know is that we(my brother and I) are not allowed to eat anywhere besides the kitchen, which explains why the carpet in our rooms is spotless. As most of you know, I moved to Mays Landing in the fourth grade, which explains why my walls are cotton candy pink. It also explains why I have “K-A-Y-L-A” spelled out in brown wooden letters across my headboard, or even explains why I have “GLAMOROUS” plastered on my half tan and and half pink “accent wall”. I guess you could say that my room is a little juvenile, but at the age of nine, I thought I was a little more mature for my age. Anyway, as soon as you walk into my room, there is a desk/bookshelf on the right. On this desk/bookshelf you will find: a customized floral laptop with a matching mouse, the children’s Bible, a stuffed teddy bear, a lamp/speaker, the Declaration of Independence, The Vampire Diaries, my old piano books, and a wooden monkey coin jar from Myrtle Beach, SC.. If you were to enter my room from the left, you would see all of my purses from when I was little. A Hello Kitty purse, a Cheetah Girl Purse, a purse to match my old jean jacket, etc. As you enter my room, you will notice a calendar on my wall, given to me by my orthodontist. It is still open to the month of February of the year 2014. Why is it left open to this date, you ask? One, because it marked the first month of me being the new me. *I will explain later*. Two, because it matched the color of my room. In the corner of my room, I have a mirror. I don’t really use it to look at myself, rather, I use it as a stand to hang all of my track medals and also my first award for being the only student in my kindergarten class that knew phonics. * I will also explain this later*. Moreover, on my dresser, I have all of my perfumes arranged by height and brand. Lastly, my closet is arranged very neatly. I have a section designated to my hoodies, North Faces, long-sleeve shirts, short sleeve shirts, jeans, dresses, and blazers. Each section is arranged by color. I think I might have a slight case of OCD, however, at the same time I am still a little unsure. For some reason, my closet arrangement keeps me at ease. It is quite satisfying to be honest.
Okay, now that you all can all picture my room, I would like to direct your attention back to my calendar, that is dated February 1, 2014. On this day, I promised myself that I would move on from the past, change myself for the better, and become more dedicated to school and sports.
DeleteFreshman year was by far the best year for me, but it was also the toughest year in my high school career. This was the year that I had lost my two closest friends. (No they didn’t die) We had a bunch of issues and simply decided to stop being friends. We went two separate ways, and it was devastating to see the two people who meant so much to me, exit my life on such bad terms. I am not going to lie, that shit was rough as hell, and there was a lot of unnecessary drama that came about freshman year. However, it is now March 14, 2016, and I still uphold this promise. I learned that things happened for a reason, that people would leave your life (with or without an understandable reason). I found more friends- friends that supported me and shared even more similarities than I imagined. I also became more focused on school and track. Since freshman year, I moved all the way up from 15 to 8, as a result of my hard work. (not that it matters anymore). Since February of freshman year, I’ve earned three varsity letters in track, and even managed to make it to states. I know it might sound really corny, but every time something happens, or anytime I feel discouraged I look over at my calendar, and remember all that I accomplished between freshman year and now.
Alrighty, now I would like to direct your attention back to the mirror in the corner of my room. As I mentioned earlier, I use my mirror as a “medal holder”, and I use my window seal as a spot to put all of my ribbons and pins from track. Last year, I suffered from a severe case of shin splints on both of my legs. I’m not talking regular shin splints either. My shin splints were border line ‘hairline fractures”. So basically, my legs were close to breaking in half. In fact, I still suffer from this injury, yet now, I know how to temporarily soothe the pain. This injury was the second major set back in my Track & Field career. The first was when I fractured my growth plate in seventh grade. These injuries were very discouraging, and it caused me to go from a bomb ass athlete to an ass ass athlete. However, the collection of medals hanging from my mirror and the ribbons sitting on my windowsill, encouraged me to keep doing what I loved, and that was to run track. Seeing all of those awards, make me want to try harder, and it also makes me want to continue adding onto my medal collection. Winning medals, ribbons, trophies, etc. make me feel more accomplished, and give me a sense of self-satisfaction.
Nobel Peace Prize…. Hell Yea I want one. You damn skippy I’d want one. Out of the four categories, I would love to win an award for either Medicine or Literature. My family suffers from many health problems, as well as friends, teachers, and many others in this world. My ultimate goal in life is to contribute to the world or at least make some sort of difference in our society. I want to create a medicine, any type of medicine, that can cure something as little as a rare disease or as large as Cancer. Just imagine how many people I could save, how many lives I could spare, or how many families I can bring back together. I’ve also dreamt of writing a bomb ass book about society, or the minority, or feminism. However, I’m not that good of a writer, and I would prefer to speak in front of an audience, rather than write. So, we might have to scratch the the literature Nobel Peace Prize off the list. Whoops.
DeleteAcademically, I would love to become fluent in Spanish. I feel as though, being bi-lingual or tri-lingual, is a very critical aspect in communication, and that knowing two or more languages, will allow me to interact and connect with many others. I would also love to learn more about the American government. Believe it or not, I really enjoyed AP Gov class. I just wish students didn’t have to cram in everything for a stupid assesment test. If that wasn’t the case I would take AP Gov again. Lastly, over the past few months I have taken a serious interest in the human brain and how humans interact. I am guessing this is psychology tied in with a little neuroscience? Whatever the hell it is, I want to learn more about it. To be honest, I would be more willing to learn about anything, if grades and tests weren’t involved. I like learning things for the hell of it. Too bad life doesn’t work like that.
Spiritually, I want to explore every religion there is. Religion is a very debatable topic, and before I can be set on any religion, I would like to explore the others out there, and make my own decision on what I believe in. Not just believe what I was taught to believe in since the age of five.
Emotionaly and Mentally, I crave for a stress-free and stable life. I am so sick of stressing out. I am so sick of pressure. I am so sick of this competitive environment. I am so sick of people and their bs. I am so fucking sick of society. I am so sick of everything to be honest. If I could be on some transcendentalist shit, I would. I just need to get away. Escape. Be free. Be content forever.
My room is actually a special place to me. I consider it as my “safe haven.” A place where I can just be alone and spend time to myself, whether it’s jamming out to my favorite songs, netflix and chill, drawing/painting, doing hw(like writing this blog rn) or just reflecting on things that come to mind. My room is actually the brightest room on the second floor in my house. About 2 years ago, I completely redesigned it. It looked like a little girl’s dream princess room, all pink and purple but very disorganized with clothes and toys all over the floor. Nothing was in it’s proper place. But since my redesign, I believe my choice on the new paint for the walls made my room seem brighter. It makes me happy. My room is more appropriate for my age now and I love it. My view out my window is the woods with a lake and my beautiful backyard. Nothing about my room disappoints me in any way. I spend a lot of my time in my room. The feature in my room that I’m so very proud is my “Achievement Corner”. This is an area with shelves and a desk where all my trophies and awards that I received throughout my life in sports, art and academics. Here is also where I display some of my artworks that I’m most proud of and also pictures of some of the best memories. Everyday, I spend some time looking at this corner, realizing how much I accomplished in my life. It motivates me to keep pushing myself in achieving my goals for the future.
ReplyDeleteI’ve thought about winning a Nobel Prize once in eighth grade after watching a video in my religion class about Mother Teresa’s Nobel Peace Prize. Her story was very touching and winning a Nobel Peace Prize became a dream for me. I always wanted to be recognized for impacting the world by my actions in a good way. That award will most definitely be the best achievement in my life if I were to win it one day.
There’s so many things that I want and need to learn. Academically, I seriously want to be able to speak Spanish fluently. Spanish is the biggest language in my family and everyone on my dad’s side speaks it except for me and my brother. My dad never fluently taught us how to speak it when we were little. I guess he was lazy… not sure. I had spanish classes during school but I only really learned the basics and I never strived to better myself. I regret that. It’s easier to learn a language when you’re younger, but now I gotta put 100% effort in learning it. Fingers crossed I’m able to speak it before I die.
Spiritually, I’m desperately need/ want to be 100% confident in myself. There were countless times where I second guess myself, had trouble public speaking, body shamed, personality shamed, etc. Back in the days, I thought I wasn’t good enough to be successful or pretty or be noticed by anyone. I was a follower. Whatever she wore, I felt the need to wear. Wherever they went, I felt the need to go. Also a big issue was always having my guard up. I have trouble trusting people. I’ve been backstabbed and hurt before which is why I’m probably like this. It takes time for me to be able to let someone in in my life and really get to know a lot about me. I’m having trouble right now writing about this. One day, I’ll be all happy and want to share stuff with people etc, then the when I’m annoyed or feel sad or hate, my guard is put up in an instant and I just shut everyone out.
So, this leads to what I want to learn emotionally/ mentally; positivity. I doubt myself a lot which greatly ruins my self esteem. Sometimes I even doubt others. I’m not saying that I physically tell a person that they can’t do something, it’s just a thought that comes up in my mind. I don’t want to hate or be mad at things for stupid reasons. I want to move forward in life with positivity.
Your room is your sanctuary and mine is enclosed in four dark grey walls (that actually are either bluish grey or purplish grey, depending on the lighting) that I painted myself. I’ve always loved reorganizing and redecorating my room. Whether it’s just me hauling furniture or me enlisting my brother or cousins against their wills, I always find some way to do things differently. And it doesn’t help that I get new inspirations for my room every so often. For someone who changes things up constantly in her room, you’d think that it’d be impossible for me to find something that I’m most proud of. Yes, I can say that it’s the photos adorning my walls or my closet that I’ve most recently redone (about two weeks ago). But, knowing me, eventually, those pictures will be replaced and the closet will be revamped. The only thing that stays constant in my room are my four walls; my beautifully colored dark Liquid Mercury walls, according to Behr (I still have the paint chip). The color on the walls surrounding my room was actually done very recently. I’ve been wanting to repaint my room for forever and my parents kept promising the next summer and then the next, as we were going to do it when we repainted the whole house. But, this past summer I’ve been so impatient that I begged again and they finally let up. But, being the impatient and hurried person that I was, I couldn’t wait another month so at dinner I told them that I would do it myself as my parents and brother were going somewhere the day after. So, that night around ten o’clock, I forced my dad to go to the Home Depot with me to buy paint and the other necessary tools needed. The next morning my brother and dad took out all the big furniture, and when everyone left, I began my work. Yet, as I was taping up the door and window trims, my cousin Jeff came over and I forced him to help me with the ceiling and upper walls because I’d just realized that my five-foot self was just not tall enough to do anything above where why arms could reach. Although, side note, I still like to say that I did most of the work because all he did was screech along with Taylor Swift. We finished by the end of the day and I couldn’t be prouder of us. And even though there are imperfections, the imperfections made the room my work of art. I was the one who chose the color. I was the one who painted the walls. I was the one who accomplished the job. I am the one who is still proud.
ReplyDeleteI would like to win the Nobel Peace Prize because I feel that it’s the one that any individual can win. For the other categories, I feel like someone has to excel in the subject. But for World Peace, anyone who has the drive to make a change and to help other can achieve such an honor. They just have to go out and do something. They just have to go out and try to change the world. And I’m not saying that it’s an easy task. Obtaining that prize would take dedication and determination as well as a will to not give up. But I feel that if I had the ability to do something great that would change the world, I, like anyone else, can get this prize. You don’t have to be the smartest and most innovative and most creative person to win the Nobel Peace Prize. You just have to go out and get involved to make a better change in the world. So, to everyone who reads this, to quote the wonderful Manny Rodriguez, “Do something kind today.”
Academically, I’ve always wanted to know more about my culture and where I’ve come from. I’ve lived in America all my life and I’ve visited China almost every other summer up until seventh grade year (the last time I’ve been there, but I might be going again either this summer or winter break!). And although I’ve gotten to see and know each country pretty well, I’m not as connected with my Chinese culture as I am with American culture. As sad as it sounds, I live and breathe America. I speak perfect English, I dress in an American style, I do everything in an American way. Except eat, of course, got to love them chopsticks. But, I can’t speak Mandarin and Fujianese and Cantonese (I can only understand a good amount), and I am weirded out by how some Chinese people dress. In all honesty, and as ashamed as I should be, most of the time I’m embarrassed to be associated with the stereotypical Chinese norm, because of the way I was raised here in America. So, I would love to be able to learn more about the place my family before me came from and learn how to speak all the languages my mom can speak in order to communicate with most of my family including my grandparents, and in the end, just be able to be proud to say that I am Chinese because I know what it means to be Chinese.
DeleteSpiritually, I would like to know what it feels like to believe in a greater being, like God. My parents are Buddhists, so my mom prays every morning and does other traditional Buddhist things like cooking feasts to honor dead loved ones and not eating beef. And I went to Catholic school for a year, so everyone there prayed every morning and went to mass every month. But, I don’t really believe in all of that, but I do respect it when people do. My parents never raised my brother and me to be die-hard Buddhists. I mean we went to the temple on special holidays and helped with the honoring of family members but that was it. They never taught us how to pray properly and never forced us to be vegetarians. Not being forced to follow a religion, made me just understanding to those who do firmly believe in a higher being, but never made me actually know what it feels like to believe in one. I go with the flow. I believe that things happen for various reasons. But I don’t believe in the fact that someone, something controls your life and that praying to them would do anything. Yet, I kind of want to know what it feels like to believe. I can say that I one hundred percent respect religion and religious practices as I’ve been to many. I’ve prayed on hands and knees for hours and days straight for my dead relatives at temples in New York (three days, seven hours each day) and in China (one week, fifteen hours each day (6:00 AM to 9:30 PM)) and I’ve been to mass and Church for an hour or two once a month while at Catholic school. I see how others react and feel in those situations and sometimes I want to know what it that feels like too.
Emotionally and mentally, as cliché as it sounds, I want to know how it feels to fall totally head-over-heels in love with someone. I love people, but not romantically. And it sucks because I think I’m a hopeless romantic (pretend I whispered that). I read romance novels and watch romantic movies because as unrealistic as they are, I think they’re cute and I live for that “happily ever after”s that I know will not happen for everyone. I just want to know what it feels like to love so deeply and so long that the other person feels like home. And I think that really want to know that because I’m scared that I’d probably be the one who never will be about to experience it.
It feels like only a month ago that I moved and decorated my new house. I remember every second of designing my own room, which I may not spend as much time in as other people, is still a quiet sanctuary that holds everything dearest to me. Although my walls are free from art that I so desperately wished my parents would allow, they are still vibrant shades of pink. A mirrored nightstand rests next to my pink flowered bed with its matching curtain covering the outside world from my sight. A pink ballerina jewelry stand, along with an Ihome and recently worn earrings gather on my nightstand on top of a pink doily of course. Underneath my bed is just another place for things that didn’t belong anyplace else: yearbooks, boxes, pictures etc. Following, even the insides of my closet is the same shade of pink with soft black hangers, that I am soon to run out of, drooping my clothes just a little over a book shelf. My “book shelf” may contain some books but is mostly used for little knick knack sort of items that didn’t have a home. But don’t worry everything is separated into various colored weaved baskets, categorized. Perfumes lay on top of a little jewelry box I received from my aunt as a child and never thought to replace.
ReplyDeleteNow for maybe my biggest accomplishment, my clothes. All of my clothes are color coordinated and categorized by type of clothing. Sweatshirts, jackets, blazers, tank tops, sleeveless, tee-shirts, blouses, ¾’s, long sleeves, sweaters, shorts, skirts ( fit, then flare), jeans (color coordinated) , dresses ( fancy, casual, then by sleeve length) and my cardigans ( sleeve and overall length) Then a hanging box thing for socks and sleepwear. And yes, I made my mom stop putting away my clothes at a young age because I got frustrated when she didn’t follow my system. Last but not least is my ginormous collection of stuffed animals which coincidently is what I am most proud of most. I may love and find peace from the way my clothes are organized but my stuffed animals have been with since the beginning. Most live (yes live) on top of the rack of my closet others underneath my bed, my brothers bed and even my parents. Each have their own birthday and name and a story of how I first received them. They are a constant reminder each morning of my childhood and everlasting warm and fuzzy feeling of joy.
I want to first establish, there is no shred of confidence that I could do something as great as to deserve as any one of the six Nobel prizes. It’s not cutting myself short, it’s just how reality is. But then again I am the person who says anything can happen in the future. Therefore if for some odd reason I must make this choice, in whether to pursue math and science or literature, hands off id excel in math. But physics isn’t my thing and as much as I love philosophy I don’t think it quite fits under the literature. I have the greatest appreciation for those whose heart choose the path of literature. Writing is an art and how can a person judge one art better than the other. After all both are art. So after avoiding the question for lone enough, it would be the most humbling honor to receive the Nobel Peace Prize. Even though it’s becoming clear, no matter the number of people and souls with hearts as big as the sun will eliminate war altogether it doesn’t hurt to try and start with one at a time. I don’t know how and I don’t when and I don’t know why. But if I inspire just one person with my contributions, with anything I contribute to this world my heart and desires will be fulfilled.
ReplyDeleteAcademically, my imagination is my own limit. I see no things I can’t at least attempt it. As someone once said the only obstacles we face are the ones we place in front of us ourselves. I want a clear path. And I know that’s unreasonable and will never be true with all the things I worry about. However I want to learn and absorb as much information as I can. Not just about books, but I want to learn from books and the world around me. I want to take the things and hear to interpret for myself to help me in the future. Spiritually, I just want to learn everything. What goes through people’s minds when they are influenced by a certain religion? All of that easy to offend stuff. My friend in north jersey knows a yoga instructor, so a group of us always take her up on free therapy on Saturday. Whenever I am not drowning in the immense amount of homework I have each week, a drive up to north jersey and certainly worth the trouble. I have learned that it brings me peace and quiet. In between the moments are searing agony I have time to reflect on my own thoughts for once. Overall it’s nice just hanging out with some of the best people I know. This ties in to my goals for my emotional and mental well-being. I am stressed out and filled with anxiety 120 percent of time. So whether it’s complaining to Weisback in an empty room or talking to Clark about the randomness things, they are delightful distractions. I will forever be grateful for these distractions because they keep me sane.
My room is very random: I have a giant asian lookin’ wallpaper behind my bed, stained-glass windows in the front, a piano (that is slowly collecting dust because I don’t play it anymore), a basket full of clothes on the floor-- but yet, it works.The one thing I’m most proud of in my room is the collage on my wall. Like I said, my room is very random; my collage is no exception. Each picture is framed, but each frame is different from one another. And they’re not hanged normally either. Some are straight, but most are hung on an angle (It looks better in person, I swear). But I guess the reason why I’m most proud of it is because these pictures aren’t just resent pictures; it’s basically a timeline of my life. I have pictures of me, my family, and friends from when we were little, all the way up to now. I have pictures of the places I’ve been to, graduations I’ve attended. I have ribbons and awards. I have postcards and little drawings from friends and families. And I keep them up there. Not going to lie, I’m a hoarder when it comes to these types of things. Of course I don’t look at it everyday, but when I do, I stand there staring at it for awhile. For one: I can’t believe I have that many pictures on my wall. Two: I don’t know, It just gives me a warm feeling in my tummy. Afterall, a picture has a thousand words. As I grow older, I start to forget my past more and more. It’s like a closet. You throw away clothes to make room for new ones. And it sucks because I had a pretty rad childhood if I do say so myself. So while people have scrapbooks and usb drives, I have my wall. To keep the memory alive: the good, the bad, and everything else that comes with it.
ReplyDeleteIf I were to ever to win the Nobel Prize, I would want to win it for world peace. Call me lame or unrealistic, but my dream has always been to travel to third world countries and help the people there. In a sense, I want to be a Mother Teresa. But since I have no money, making a change here in the U.S. will do. After seeing my brother do great things with his organization, he inspired me to one day start my own organization and raise money to help those in need. Whether I end up helping them medically or through the works of art or even lifting their spirits in ways no one could before, I want to do it all! But there are billions of people on this Earth, and they’re all making a difference as we speak. That means billions of Nobel Peace Prizes before me. So until the time comes, I will sit here and wait until it’s my turn (like Leo).
Academically, I would like to understand the Latin language. I’ve been taking latin since freshmen year and all I know how to say is “apple”. I don’t even know how to say hi. I’m not joking either. I’ve always been fascinated by their culture and their way of living. I think it would be cool if one day I traveled to Rome and I came across an old scroll with latin transcripts on it. I could actually read it and understand what they were thinking back then. Or just being able to understand the writings on the architectures. Or I could go to the Vatican and have a very spiritual conversation with the Pope in Latin. But in all seriousness, I feel like if I get this language down, I can understand other languages.
Spiritually, I want to learn every single religion there is. I am Catholic, and I love Jesus. But I feel learning about other religions will help me be more open-minded. My spark for this really came with my family. Though half of them are catholic, the other half is not. They were either Lutherans, Jewish, Jehovah's Witness, or Buddhists. But we all got along, even with our differences in religion. And dinner table stories were always fun too! I remember back in freshman year, we learned about all these different religions, that I knew existed, but never really knew what they practiced. I actually really enjoyed it. I thought it was interesting to see their way of thinking about life and god. Who knew there were so many interpretations of this one man? I don’t know. Maybe I’m just really weird.
ReplyDeleteEmotionally/mentally, I just want to be able to motivate myself when others aren’t around me. Running can get very lonely (I try talking to the runners around me, but then I remember I’m not suppose to so I shut up). Running a 5k can get especially lonely. And sometimes I want to give up. This is one of the many sports where YOU are your biggest supporter. And I suck at that. It’s most definitely a confidence thing. I can instill it in others, but not myself. I try to, I really do. But then I’m like, “oh well you’re already sucking so mind as well give up” and I do. And what’s worse is that when I reach the end, I find out I PRed and I get upset with myself because I know if I had motivated myself and didn’t slow down my pace, I could’ve PRed even more!
My room holds no special souvenirs or awards. My room is just another, semi-messy room. My room is full of random. My bookshelf is half full with random items, including an Oakcrest Crew lunchbox that is currently starring me down as I write this blog, and the desk next to my one-man bed holds a lamp and a few school books. Again, there is nothing special in my room to be proud of, but, if anything, I give credit to my book-bag, which is, once again, sitting on the floor in one of the room's corners. I am... somewhat proud of this book-bag. I have had it for almost two years and for all this time it has been full of school materials, such as notebooks and binders. The reason I hold some pride in this book-bag is because of its heavy weight. It is a heavy bag. I never free it from the burden of holding every single notebook/binder that I may or may not need for school, hence its heavy weight. I carry this bag with ease, does not bother me much. Actually, I get a little workout out of it. But when someone else tries to lift and carry my bag, they somewhat struggle and say "Dang, your bag is heavy as BLOOP." My replies to these people are quite humble, but lowkey I like that I am a tough individual and that the weight of my book-bag barely bothers me and instead strengthens me a little. And before I move on, I must give an honorable mention to the Valentine's Day mailbox that I created for Lang a few weeks ago, which is currently placed on the top of my bookshelf. If it wasn't for the awesomeness of my book-bag, that mailbox would have taken the cake in this case. (I was quite proud of that mailbox... Even though it's 100% printing paper).
ReplyDeleteFor a Noble Prize, I would like to be awarded with one for World Peace. I dislike fighting/arguments. Even small, insignificant fights disturb me and I genuinely dislike it, with a passion. I find no point to fighting and arguing because both sides will always keep clashing each other with their own respective opinions and motives without considering the other side and just sticking with their side of the argument. I am not talking about intellectual arguments, which are meant for educational purposes, but simply dumb and bloody arguments that arise so that the two sides can prove something ridiculous to each other, which also may lead to a physical fight. To me, no one wins! No one benefits from this silly fights! Absolutely no one! So why, in the first place, get involved with such bothersome activities? I am dazzled and confused about how people can argue and not even consider the opposing side's argument and keep on going with the silliness (and silly is an understatement). And this conflict grows greater as the stakes become higher. Groups of people fighting other groups so they come out to be victors in whatever the issue is. Countries fight for dominance to show which one of them are better than the rest. Like...Why? Why can you simply not just cooperate? I am aware of the cooperation that exists between countries, the relationship between strong and weak countries, but at the end of the day, "lowkey," every country does things only for its own benefit. Anyway, I am beginning to move off topic, so I will conclude this by saying that I would just love to simply end the petty conflicts that burden this small world of ours.
And now, for question number three, I would say that, academically, I want to learn many things. To put it simply, I want to have at least general knowledge of everything surrounding me and that I come in contact with. Actually, I enjoy philosophy. I am not a big expert on it, nor do I read books to acquire knowledge for it (yet), but my dad, as a man who actually studied philosophy and currently teaches it in a community college in Delaware, shares his knowledge with me, mostly during long car rides, and like that I have learned a lot. Because of my dad, I am much more open minded and less restricted to one piece of opinion/knowledge. So, anyway, academically, I want to read and learn more about philosophy (even though it is not the field of study that I will pursue in the long run) because I believe that learning about "the meaning of life" and such will help me understand the world better, obviously, but most importantly, understand myself. Which is what I want to accomplish spiritually, to understand myself and be at peace with myself. I have mentioned this in a few of my previous blogs that I want to be as close to accepting myself as possible and I mean that. But for the past year I have noticed that I have less patience with stupid things, people, and occurrences than I had before. Before, I could tolerate ridiculousness more, but now, less so. But I want to work on that. I do not want to be pissed at small, meaningless things anymore, which are the things that I have issues with. My small "patience issue" is not as bad as I might make it sound it to be, but I feel like it will become a huge problem if I do not conquer and defeat it now because I realize and know that people can and will take advantage of me if I have little patience for things.
DeleteAnd for learning things emotionally/mentally, I simply want to be stable. Stable in my head and in my heart and I would not mind discovering new ways for how to maintain this stability, mostly through relationships.
There is not much in my room that I am legitimately proud of, but I do have a lot of things that I like and enjoy looking at. However, in my room, the thing I am most proud of is my breathing machine from my surgery over the summer. The breathing machine was to expand my lungs to gain back my endurance, since my surgery was nine hours longs. I am proud of it because every time I look at it I remember how much I have overcome in these past couple of months.
ReplyDeleteIf I was ever to win a Nobel Prize I would want it to be for World Peace. Considering science is not one of my top favorite subjects, I would not want to win it for Chemistry or Medicine. But I would like to win a Nobel Prize for World Peace because I want to spark or change something for the better in someone’s life. When I look at past recipients of the Nobel Peace Prize, I just think of how amazing those people were and still are today. Hopefully, one day, I will follow in the footsteps of these remarkable people to make the world a better place to live in.
Spiritually, I have always wanted to learn more about the world because I know there is more to this world than the small town of Mays Landing. That is why I like to go on vacations and travel because I get to experience things I normally won’t. For example, I would love to visit the countries of my ethnicity because I want to learn the differences and similarities between how I live and how they live in their country.
Academically, I have always wanted to learn more about life and real-world experiences. Everyday in school we always learn something, but most of it never pertains to real- world situations. For example, in our common core classes, like english, math, science, and history, we learn what the common core tells us to learn, even if it has no meaningful purpose behind it whatsoever. That is why taking most electives are beneficial because they are specifically designed to teach you what that course is, and you have the choice of taking that class.
Mentally, I have always wanted to learn how to relax and control my thoughts. During the school year, I build so much stress and pressure on myself that I end up being so overwhelmed. That is why I want to learn how to not overthink and to not create constant stress. I also want to learn how to relax because being stressed out all the time is very tiring, therefore if I learn how to relax I will have more time doing something meaningful instead of being tired.
This part of the blog- the question about my bedroom fits me perfectly right now. I was just complaining to my mom how I want to redo my whole room. My mom told me she was pregnant with my brother when I was in 5th grade, 10 years old, and the only thing that crosses my mind other than the question on why was my mom having a kid at 45 was, holy crap I am going to loss my room. What do you know? 5 months later I come home to my bed in a different room. My lovely mother took it into her own hands to move me out of my big, beautiful room and switch it with my sister. The deal was my new brother and little sister would get my big room and I would get the smaller room. 6 years later and my brother still sleeps with his “mommy” and Olivia has the big room to herself. Haha. Anyways, my room is ugly and tiny but it's my room. It is my go to, other than 204. My room holds a lot of secrets, a lot of good memories and some bad, a lot of good laughs and a lot of cries. I can look at the stain on wine on my carpet and laugh at the time Kayla spilled the whole bottle or I can look at my bed- just a mattress on the floor and laugh at the time I broke my headboard when I was wrestling my brother. Moral of my little story- I don’t have actual things I am proud of in my room, it is the actual memories of good and bad times and things I accomplished in my room that I am proud of.
ReplyDeleteIf I could win a Nobel prize it would be for medicine. Science is not my strongest subject but I would do anything in the entire world to make a medicine to cure cancer. I would sit in a classroom for the rest of my life 24/7 if I could create a medicine that would cure cancer. I hate cancer. Even before Dominique was diagnosed, I just always hated cancer. The word cancer made me cringe. It ruins lives, families, futures, and happiness. There is no reason for cancer. It is stupid. It is painful. It is horrible. In 20 years, if you see me on TV winning a Nobel prize, it will be for coming up with the cure for cancer. That seems extremely unlikely, and it probably won’t happen because I can’t even get a solid grade in Chemistry, but I will do everything in my power to try.
Academically, I wish in school we learned more about things that could help us with real life. Like a class that will teach me how to sign a check and take care of my mortgage. I seriously believe that half of the bullcrap I am taught in Chemistry and Math is something I will never see again in real life. Sometimes in math I ask my teacher what this nonsense is even for and how I will use it in real life (which pisses her off) and she can’t even give me an answer. How ridiculous. I am learning stuff I won’t even remember tomorrow. Lang is an english subject but I also get real life knowledge out of that class. Our debates or lectures and talks teach me so much more than any other class will be able to. So, academically, I wish we had more teachers like Bunje and more classes that will actually help me in the long run; even after I receive all the knowledge I need.
Spiritually, I want to know more about “the afterlife.” I go to church once in awhile with my parents and I can seriously say I do not know what I believe. I have absolutely no idea. Sometimes I weirdly look at my sister and say to myself, “wow you are seriously my sister. We are seriously blood related. How cool.” And then I start overthinking about life and creep myself out. I wish I knew where our loved ones went after they leave us and where the new ones come from when they join us. It is so weird to think this way but when I start I cannot finish. I wish I had all the answers about life. And why such crappy things have to happen. And why some get the happy ending and others don’t. Or why some days the sun will set and other days it just rains. The more I think about this the more in my bag about life I get so onto the next one.
DeleteEmotionally, I wish I learned how to get myself out of my feelings when I am in too deep. Meaning, I wish I could control if one thing will completely break my heart and another thing will make me smile. I wish I could learn how to better control my emotions I guess I could say. I wish I could control who I love and who I don’t. I know I love the wrong people. And I know I push away the right people, and I wish there was something I could learn to fix that.
1. Of what are you most proud in your room?
ReplyDelete- My bedroom is my safe haven. There is no other place like it and I love it more and more each day. After an incredibly long day, my bedroom welcomes me. Where I used to live, my bedroom was very large (and messy), but it did not feel like home. Nothing in the room reflected who I am as a person and I hated it. There was a ballerina wall border that I mostly ripped off. The carpet was a disgusting purple color. I hated it. When I moved to my new house in 5th grade, I begged my mom to paint my walls lime green and splatter paint on one of them (specifically pink, blue, and yellow). Everything was zebra print and I had many brightly colored objects spread out everywhere. It was finally something that described me... at least for a little while. I'm someone who gets tired of being in the same place for too long so I would move the furniture in my room all the time. I was older now and I begged and begged my mom to change everything. Many bad things happened over the course of the years that I lived inside those green walls and it was a constant reminder of those things. I needed a change. It took a couple years, but she finally agreed and this December, while I was away at New York City for a weekend, my mom painted my walls a beautiful purple/gray color and for Christmas she bought me a vanity and blackout curtains (which I was a little too excited about). I found an old dresser and I painted it black and put crystal knobs on it. That is what I am most proud of in my room. I may have gone too far with this question, but my room is very important to me. The dresser is so important to me because it was finally something I did myself. It was an attempt at creating happiness for myself and I did it. The crystal knobs are gorgeous and there is just something about it that is perfect.
2. For what would you like to win a Nobel prize? (categories include: World Peace, Literature, Chemistry, Medicine)
- I would like to win a Nobel prize in World Peace. Although I am the opposite of someone who understands peace, I believe it is a very honorable award. People seem to see peace as an impossible thing. There is nothing impossible about it, in my opinion, and if I had the chance to change the world in this way, I would. I often fantasize about what it would be like to live in a world where you don't have to worry about your safety. Although I couldn't solve this completely, I would like to find a way to somewhat change it.
3. What have you always wanted to learn: academically, spiritually, and emotionally/mentally?
- Academically, I've always wanted to learn how to actually do math. I am not good at it. I do not understand it. If someone could teach me without acting like I am not smart for not understanding (cough, cough...), I would love to attempt to learn it. I am not saying I will love it afterwards, but I would like to be able to engage in conversation about it and understand what people are saying. Spiritually, I would like to learn that having a simple life is not a bad thing. I am always worried about what I could be doing instead of sitting at home, but why bother? There's nothing wrong with being in the comfort of your own home on the weekend. Everyone has their different comfort zones. Emotionally and mentally, I would like to learn how to manage my anxiety. It is a difficult thing to deal with because it begins to surface at the most unnecessary times. For example, the other day during sources/hat day, I could not breathe. I was beginning to become very dizzy and I could not think straight. I was very relieved that I was not asked any questions (sorry, Bunj) because I honestly believe I would've became too dizzy to talk. If I could learn a way to manage these anxiety attacks, I think I would be a more outgoing and happy person.
In my room of lime green walls, hot pink curtains, and obnoxiously covered floral covers, I’m proud to say that 1. I’m redecorating soon and 2. I’m proud of the collage of pictures, movie tickets, varsity/jv letters, medals, on a large bulletin board on the far left of the wall near my door. It all started when I first moved to our new house. I wanted to hang many pictures of me and friends but my mom said it would look too crowded on the walls. To solve this problem (and to save her walls from all the holes I’ll make when adding frames), she gave me a huge bulletin board and told me I can hang anything my 12 year old heart desired. So since then, I’ve added all photobooth pictures, special photos that I printed out at walmart, my varsity/jv letters, tickets to concerts and memorable school events like Semi Formal and Prom, pictures my little sister drew specially for me, and I even saved a ribbon I won in the 5th grade. It makes me happy looking back at my collage. It’s cluttered and messy and doesn’t fit into my room at all but I would replace everything first before even thinking about taking out my collage. Besides that, my room is very ugly and childish looking hahaa. My mom said I can repaint it in the summer and I’m very excited. I was thinking a soft blue color and I’ll rearrange all the furniture. It’ll give me an excuse to clean my room and get it looking good once again.
ReplyDeleteAw man. If I could win a Nobel Prize, I would be sooooooooo happy. I’d be one of those Miss America contestants and cry in front of the camera still lookin’ cute as hell. Sike. I’m an ugly crier. Anyways, I would like to win a prize for medicine or world peace. I personally like to make others feel better. I don’t really expose my own problems to others but in a heartbeat I would try my best to make the other feel good. World peace is a far stretch for humanity as of now. I dont know I can make peace between large nations, but I’ll sure as hell try if I get the opportunity. With the nobel prize in medicine, I could save lives! I don’t know about you guys, but I feel saving someone’s life is such a huge accomplishment and definitely be something to be proud of.
Academically, I wish to learn all about the human anatomy. I want to be one of those you see on Grey’s Anatomy. Smart yet sexy. Although I haven’t watched an episode since season 6, I kinda forget how the flow of it all goes. I just know that they are able to find whats wrong and cure their patient. I find the human body fascinating. Just think about it, there are a million different things going on inside your body right now, keeping you alive. And they don’t stop! All the cells, organs, etc. know exactly what to do and when to do it without anyone telling them what to do. Idk, I probably sound so stupid for stating the obvious but idc, I still find it so fascinating.
Spiritually, I wish to learn all the cultures in the world. Have you ever read the book or watched the movie (which is what I did hehe) Eat, Pray, Love? I want to travel all over and experience how other cultures do things. I’m a Christian, but I still want to experience different religions. Julia Roberts in that movie opened my eyes on how small of a bubble I am in. I think I said this in my other blogs but I want to meet new people, learn new cultures, see new sights, walk in someone else's shoes. I know I haven’t grown much but there is still more I can do with my life than continue what I do on a regular basis.
Mentally, I wish to learn how to be truly happy. I already know how to pick myself up from a bad mood, but I want to be happy happy. I want to wake up every morning and feel confident. I want to get out of bed and not stress. I want to go on with my day, knowing that I’ll have a smile on my face and mean it. I want to be so happy, it brings other people out of their slump. I dont know if theres a technique I can learn or a certain prayer, but I just want to be happy.
My room is so important to me and probably the only place I go in my house. It's my comfort zone and my dance floor and my own personal studious library and my heaven to where I lay my head down for the best part of my day; sleep. Ever since I repainted it I feel 10x more homier and can sit in there for hours. I love the smell when I light my candles and how cozy I feel with only the Christmas tree lights dangling above my head lighting up the room just enough to fall asleep and not feel scared of ghosts. The most important thing to me is my special box. My special is filled with mostly hand written letters that people have written to me as long as I could remember. I keep everything everyone gives to me. Even the little things Cynthia gives to me in history that she makes out of her homework, ily for that. I have memories from each crazy night or adventure I go on so shout out to Halloween because my dalmation, or cow, ears are in there. I just recently had to get a bigger box because it was overflowing and I’m so happy I did. I love handwritten letters so much and I cherish them. It just reminds me that that person went out of there way and thought about me. It's amazing how much a little post it note can make someone's day. I keep everything. I have notes I wrote to people in 3rd grade in there that I guess I was just a little baby and was scared to give it to them. I go through it all the time and just smile. ALSO, 2nd period lang all of your VDay cards are in there, thanks so much you guys are the bomb <3
ReplyDeleteI never really thought about winning a Nobel Prize but I would want to win it for the Medical field. I so badly wish there was a cure to breast cancer, or any cancer at all. If I could have one wish to cure cancer in a heartbeat I would and I think most people would agree with me. Cancer kills close ones and destroys the ones left behind. It's such a shame that the world does so much awareness and fundraisers and it's still not enough charity to find a cure. The one topic I could cry about in front of a class or a crowd in general is breast cancer. It breaks my heart into pieces that there is no cure and people have to loose their mom or dad or aunt or friends or teachers so to either a traumatic, long and stressful process, or a quick goodbye. And the fact that cancer just decides to come back after being in remission is the worst. I wish I was capable to find a cure and I’ll never stop doing as much as I can like walks and fundraisers.
To be honest, I was never up to learning something new up until sophomore year and that's only if I had the motivation. Now, I love it. Academically I would love love love to learn how to solve for f(x) or f’(x) correctly. Thats enough said. I do not understand math right now so that's why I have my first C ever. Since I went to CCD my entire life I just want to learn why I still have to watch people everyday do their best at anything and never get rewarded because I was always told God is there for you and that he has a plan for everyone. Its sad/annoying to watch someone give their all and never get recognized or show much improvement. I also would like to learn that if God has a plan why do we have to wait for it? I guess there are all irrational questions that will never be answered but just a little thought doesn’t hurt. Mentally, I would absolutely positively tremendously over anything in this entire world love to learn self worth. And I’m not talking like being insecure about my hair or stuff like that I’m talking about being treated like garbage and being okay with it. Over time, I’ve learned more and more but just listening to my friends advice I have no idea how they are so strong when it comes to major predicaments. I always wanna be nice to bad people and I wish I could learn to let go of toxic bodies in my life.
Ah, my room…, just thinking about my room and my comfortable bed makes me feel at ease. My room is where I spend most of my day. My room features yellowish white color walls, and on those walls I hang my certificates and childhood pictures. I have a huge desk which is littered with school papers, books, and bottles of Bath & Body Works lotions and sprays. On the right side of my room, I have a bookshelf which consists of three levels. The top level is filled with Manga comic books, the middle is filled with fiction books organized according to their size, and the bottom shelf is filled with binders containing my huge collection of pokemon cards. In the middle of my room, I have a bunk bed from fifth grade that I still treasure. The top bed is empty, while I sleep on my bottom half of the bed. What I am most proud of in my room, is the photo frame that has a picture of me every year from when I was born until current day. I have a love-hate relationship with that photo frame. Every time I look at it, it reminds me that I am growing old and before I know it, I will be a old grandma. But, I still love that frame because it reminds me of the constant changes that I am going through each year. It is there to remind me that no matter how hard life gets, I still have many years to achieve my dream. Although my face has not changed since first grade, the dark circles under my eyes become more apparent each year. Although that photo frame only goes up to age 18, I would still like to continue putting pictures of me every year.
ReplyDeleteAs for the Nobel Peace Prize, I would like to win one for Medicine. I want to be known for finding a cure to cancer because many people die from cancer each year. Although there is chemotherapy which eliminates cancer cells through drugs, there are side effects of that such as hair loss. I want to be able to find a cure that cures cancer yet does not have huge side effects such as chemo. This form of a cure should come in a form of a shot or a pill. Maybe babies could be given a immunization at birth that prevents cancer. That would be what I would want to win a Nobel Peace Prize for.
Academically, I would love to learn languages. I just love learning about new culture and a new language. I am fluent in English, Chinese, and I am in the process of learning Spanish. I would love to learn another romantic language like French. I also want to learn Afrikaans. I mean I do not even know what country that is from and a very few amount of people know how to speak it. I mean how cool would it be to learn a language that hardly anyone knows.
As for spiritually, I would love to learn if there is really a “God” that everyone worships. Coming from a Christian family, I was taught to believe in “God.” Being the outcast that I am, I don’t believe in any religion because until I find that “God,” I am only going to believe in myself. Also religion never really plays well in life. I mean look at all those Trump rallies! The racist, religious white men are creating violence because of protestors. Also just because of religion, people hate each other and commit genocide against each other. I am not saying religion is bad, but seeing events like that happen, I tend to not want to believe in religion.
Mentally, I would love to learn how to control my social anxiety. I have anxiety whenever I am in front of a huge crowd. Yeah so when I read those OPs in front of the class, I want to pee in my pants everytime. I feel as if, when I don’t have that anxiety, I could be doing so much more for the community. I want to participate in the school play but because of my social anxiety, I cannot. It sucks because there are so many things I would like to do but I simply can’t because of my stupid anxiety.
Out of all of the things in my room, I am most proud of my candle collection. I have always had a love for candles. Since I can remember, every time I went to AC Moore, I picked up each scent and smelled them. Up until this summer, I didn't have the money to spend on candles. I always told myself that I had to save my money in case I really needed a kit kat bar, or in case my parents needed to borrow it. Now that I work over the summer, I can afford this hobby of mine. My favorite candle out of the 15 that I have is my Candied Carmel Pecan candle. I have never lit it, in fact I haven't lit most of the candles, but its smell is out of this world. Recently I've been in the mood for a more natural scent, so I've been lighting Alpine Ski Run. I've never smelled an actual Alpine ski run, but its candle smells very outdoorsy.
ReplyDeleteIf I were to win a Nobel Prize, I would want it to be for world peace. I'm not very interested in the other categories that are listed, but I think would peace would be the most beneficial to society. I would want to win this prize for ending terrorism. I know "you can never kill an idea," but in this scenario where I can win any Nobel Prize, I want to win it for something that will create peace in the world.
Academically, I want to widen my vocabulary. Vocab is one of the few things that we learn in school that we will use on a day to day basis outside of the classroom. Learning things, such as SAT vocab, will lead to having more interesting conversations, and will make me a better candidate during job interviews.
Spiritually, I want to learn if there is a god. I believe in God but we can never be 100% sure. Modern day science provides a theory that the Big Bang was what created everything in existence. Also according to the Bible, the earth is only a few thousand years old, where science suggests that the earth is 4.5 billion years old. These contradicting ideas make me wonder whether to believe in science or God. As of right now I believe in God but I believe that as more things prove the bible wrong, I will start to believe in science.
Emotionally and mentally I want to learn want to learn how to express myself. I never know what to say when I'm around people, especially people that I don't know. Maybe this is just because I don't think hard enough about what to say. It seems like words come so easily to most people, and I don't understand how. I think learning how to express my emotions and what I'm thinking would be the best thing to learn.
I view my room as temporary. I never made a huge effort to decorate or make it look like home-- rather, it’s thrown messily together in a way that says, “Well, I guess that’ll do.” My desk, my bed, and my vanity are all different types of wood, the mirror is never cleaned, there are no decorative pillows, no pictures on the walls, nothing that would add character. I get sudden urges to decorate, but each time I remind myself that I’m going to college soon and I can decorate then. When I was ten, it was, “8 more years, and then I’ll be in college! What’s the point?” Then I was 14 and it was, “Meh. 4 more years.” Now that I’m 16, I’m rethinking college in general and getting the feeling that maybe I should decorate just in case I end up not leaving after I graduate high school. Still, it costs entirely too much money, and I’m so fickle that I would probably end up not being happy with the results anyway. (I had Disney Princess wallpaper up until I was 11 because my dad wouldn’t take it down.) So if today I decide I want polka-dots, I’ll probably change my mind next week. But there are two things in my room that I am very happy to own, and those are: my multi-functional Costco lamp and my tapestry. My tapestry was a gift from my cousins for Christmas, and it takes up my entire wall. Whenever I look at it, I get a jolt of joy; mainly because it reminds me of my cousins, but also because I somehow managed to hang it up by myself and it hasn’t ripped or fallen apart yet. And as for my lamp, it is the most practical, useful, and overall perfect item to ever exist. There are three different settings for light, five different settings for brightness, a digital clock, an alarm, and it also tells me the date and the temperature outside. Plus, it was on sale at Costco!!! What’s better than that?
ReplyDeleteBut I know the question wasn’t, “What are you happy to own?” It was, “Of what are you most proud in your room?” Right now, Thomas is sitting in my room, and I’m very proud to have him. But as for an inanimate object, it would be the green participation ribbon that I have sitting in a binder in the very back of my closet underneath my mountain of abandoned Webkinz. Inside that binder, besides the green participation ribbon that I got from summer rallyball when I was nine, is a collection of any and all the certificates that I have ever received in my lifetime. A couple certificates from my piano-playing days, some from Hess, a handful from Davies. A ragtag collection of when school was simple and not as stressful and (dare I say it) easy. That green ribbon means a little more, just because it’s a ribbon (not a piece of paper) and it’s the first item I ever put in the binder.
I hate the idea of bucket lists because I feel so foolish writing them, and similarly, when it comes to huge awards like Nobel Prizes, I feel foolish to want one. Alas, I don’t want one. If I had a bucket list, winning a Nobel prize would not be on it. But if I was so lucky that I could pick and choose which Nobel Prize I would want to win, it would be either world peace or medicine. I really look up to Malala, and I feel as though if I was a fraction of what she is, I would be content forever. Similarly, I think science can be a very noble (get it?) profession. Medicine helps people very directly. It’s the kind of help that you can see with your own eyes. I would want to help people and be able to see the difference I’m making.
But realistically, in order to win a Nobel Prize, one has to be really intelligent. I don’t know what kind of intelligent, but I’ve always believed that intelligence starts with academics (and ends somewhere else). Not exactly test scores, but the yearning to learn, just for the sake of learning. I always want to keep learning. I want to learn more and more about feminism. I want to learn more about politics, because God knows AP Gov taught me next to nothing. I want to learn about the human body, and the human brain, and how to help people in general. Maybe I’ll take up Vietnamese again. I can speak fluently, but I can barely read and I can’t write at all and now that I’m thinking about it, I might be slowly forgetting how to speak fluently. Spiritually, I’m good. I know what I believe in, and I’m steady with my beliefs. Now, I would like to learn how to better myself through what I believe. Emotionally and mentally, I need to learn how to stop caring about what other people think about me, and to stop listening when others speak negatively about me. It’s unhealthy to dwell on things I can’t change, and it’s unhealthy to base my value and my worth based on what others believe to be true. It’s safe to say that no one knows what goes on inside another person’s head, and no one can really know what a person is like just based on what’s visible on the outside. Everyone judges, and there’s no way to stop that, but self-reflection and feeling good from within can help assuage the hurt feelings.
DeleteI have four walls in my room just like most other people. However, two of those walls are vacant, one wall has Beatles posters, and the other has my cross-country and track awards. I am most proud of the cross-country and track wall. This brings happiness to me when I look up and see my 7 varsity letters and all of the bibs that I wore in my races. These make me remember times in my life that I was very proud of my accomplishments. They also help me recall memories of all of the people that I have raced and practiced with. So everyday when I come home and walk into my room I feel happy because I realize that the things I do eventually pay off in their own ways. Even though in 5 or 10 years I will not care much about my running career, these things make me proud and make me feel like I belong. They make me feel at home and sooth me when I'm not feeling myself.
ReplyDeleteI have alway wanted to find a way in which I can help people, so I would like to win a Nobel Prize in medicine. Although, the other categories of Nobel Prizes can help and influence the world, medicine can create miracles. Discovering some new way of curing people is unimaginable to me. I can just think of all of the deadly diseases there are, and just curing one of those diseases would make so many lives better. I know that Scorpion is just a TV show, but in some of the episodes the cast saves people's lives. They do not specialize in medicine, but if I could just save one person's life I would feel extremely rewarded and accomplished. But I would be even more ecstatic that that person is still living and can continue with their life and be happy just as I am.
Academically I have always wanted to learn how to be a better writer. It has always been clear to me how to do math and science, but those things are fact, they are clear cut, no gray area. There is a right and a wrong answer. But in English this is very different, specifically in writing. There are so many different ways you can think and make an argument as long as you support it with enough content. However, since wiring has that gray area to it, I have never understood it as well as math or science. And I'm not sure if it's just me, but I always want what I can't have. I have never wanted to learn anything spiritually. Ever since my first day of CCD I have lost interest in religion. Religion is important because it gives people answers, but it just is not for me. Like I said I am more of a math and science guy so I prefer fact, but I'm not trying to hate on religion at all. Emotionally I have always wanted to learn how to be empathetic. I'm not a robot or anything but I cannot relate to people as much as I would like to.
I spend loads of time in my room and it’s a place I feel most safe. Everything in my room is mine and I’m honestly very territorial about everything in it. I know where everything is no matter how messy it gets-- of course I can’t find anything in a rush, but you get the point. One thing I’m most proud of in my room is my art. That’s actually, many things I’m proud of because I have plenty of it. My room is where I’m at the most when I’m not eating and drawing is what I do when I’m bored out of my mind, or really really upset. Drawing for me is a stress reliever and as a result of my excessive stress levels, I happen to draw a lot. My art in my room makes me happy and makes my safe place feel even safer. My art ranges from pencil sketches of glistening eyes, cute and furry animals, to tribal prints of all kinds, to water color paintings of flowers on canvas, or an occasional oil or acrylic painting of scenery. Most of my drawings remain in my sketchbook because I’m afraid of them getting lost, ruined, or thrown away. Besides most of my sketchbook drawings, with an exception of a few I took out, I have a lot of canvas paintings. Drawing is a stress reliever, but painting along with relieving stress is just so graceful and makes me happy-- Altea has one of my paintings on her fireplace mantel :-).
ReplyDeleteTbh in reality, I’m not worthy enough to ever win a Nobel prize. BUT, if I was to dream and think of something extraordinary, I would LOVE and be so honored to win a Nobel prize for setting free and finding homes for every animal in a shelter-- that would be the best prize of all, wouldn’t it? Imagine no more animals without owners to love them and kiss them everyday & no more euthanization of animal- god that sounds a bit like heaven to me. But on a more serious note, to win a Nobel prize for art would be amazing. Although art isn't my first priority and I'm not working everyday towards it or anything but that's one thing I'd like to win a Nobel prize for it I had to pick something. Art is one of the most beautiful things out there and if I could have the talent and be blessed enough to draw/ paint amazing enough to win an extraordinary award like that, that would be crazy.
I pick things up quickly and I'm a fairly quick learner, I've always just kinda been that way. I learn fast whether it be academically or just in life. I learn how to apply things very easily hands on and in school that comes in handy. But, one thing I've always struggled with is learning things mentally/ spiritually. In complete honesty, I don't want to learn half the worthless stuff I do academically in school so there's nothing that I have always wanted to learn academically. But for mentally spiritually, there are a couple of things. I've struggled with anxiety and OCD throughout my life and unfortunately as time goes on it seems to get worse. I've always wanted to learn how to be more in control of my mind and my spirit but no matter what I do it doesn't seem to work. I'd like to learn more about the benefits of a clean mind and soul and how to be more in control of both because that would help me every single day of my life.
As I am sitting in my room right now on my bed looking at my hot pink and black walls I can instantly spot something I am most proud of in my room. On my wall above my desk I have a collage of pictures which shows my first time visiting the university of Maryland for a gymnastics camp and then how I grew from there. Looking at those pictures reminds me of how blessed I am and how far I've come. It reminds me how much gymnastics has done for me and how many doors it opened. I'm proud that I never gave up on my sport and those pictures in my room remind me of that. They remind me of all the hard work, dedication and time I invested into the sport to get where I am at now. Pictures can tell a whole story and I'm proud of the pictures mounted on my wall becuase it gives me a sense of accomplishment.
ReplyDeleteI would like to win a noble peace prize in medicine. Ever since I was in middle school I knew my calling would be to work somewhere where you can be active and not have to sit behind a computer screen all day. I thought about being a sports trainer but as I did my research I found that physical therapy is what I wanted to do. Sadly, physical therapy is like my second home becuase of all the injuries I get. But I think what I love most about physical therapy is that you get to help people so that they are back on their feet again and you build life long relationships with your patients. I also considered being an orthopedic doctor and diagnose people with injuries but I'm not really sure yet. But overall my noble prize would fall under medicine and I'm sure about that.
Academically I always wanted to be able to speak fluent in another language. Whenever I hear people talking to each other in Spanish or Chinese I always wish I could do the same. I just thinks it's so cool to be able to speak 2 different languages and I love the way the Spanish language flows. I've took 3 years of Latin so far and you'll be lucky if you hear me speak one sentence in it. I don't know any language fluently but I would love to learn one.
Spiritually I want to learn how to communicate with God more. I know that in Christianity your supposed to pray to talk to God but I haven't truly figured out if he's listening when I pray and I want to get on the level where I know he's listening and answering my prayers. I also want to start reading the bible more often becuase I barely do which is kind of bad. Overall I want to get more in depth with my religion and really understand all I need to know about it.
Emotionally I want to learn how to be stronger in the mind. I want to be able to not let anything get to me or get me off focus. I tend to get distracted easily and I just want to be able to stay focused and get my tasks done. I also learned that some people try to distract you when they know your trying to do something great and I want to be able to tell who are really my friends and who is just out to put me down and stop me from reaching my goals. Once I accomplish these things, I know I'll be good to go!
I’m not the “physical remembrance,” type. The events of my life were mostly stored in a gross, squishy, sponge inside my head that soaked up all of that information. My brain. There are, however, several mementos in my room that hold important memories: like the piece of gum under my desk. It serves as a reminder of the first time I ever pulled an all-nighter and how, in the midst of all the stress and homework, my mind went into what I like to call, “I-don’t-give-a-fuck,” mode that only comes during all-nighters, and family reunions. Just kidding. But what I could say I was most proud of is my first swimming trophy. In the fourth grade after swim class at Hess, Mrs. Margaret Stringer (Bless her soul.) told me to sign up for the Mantas swim team. I loved it. It was the first sport that I did and it opened the doors to new people and new opportunities. In a way, it was like a gateway drug to my crack. Not really, but my first swim trophy truly reminds me everyday, where it all started for the athletic side of Alfonso Roque. The side where I became friends with a weirdo like Haley, became friends with an unlucky son of a gun like Christian, became friends with a semi-socially awkward person like Tim, and became friends with an idiot like Joe. (Idiot in a good way.)
ReplyDeleteBoy do I like this question about Nobel Prize. Before, in an essay of sorts that I for some reason can’t recollect, I talked about how I “probably won’t find a cure for cancer.” But something along those lines is what I want to win a prize for. Something medical. In my experience, the medical field has a way of truly involving itself in not only everyday life, but private life as well. It is through that idea that I wish to become a Doctor, maybe a researcher. And in my opinion, the medical field is the best way to directly and indirectly affect people’s lives. Not only that, but its importance is exponential. Boundless to say the least. Where was the last time you heard someone say, “I don’t need a doctor?” Probably from the mouth of an ignorant person or a stubborn one. Maybe both. Medicine through its application saves lives. Makes lives better. Makes the world better, and I want to be part of it.
At this point in my life, spirituality is an option. A fallback. It’s terrifying to believe that there is a greater power controlling my life. It’s my life and nothing is taking that from me. On another note, emotionally/mentally I would like to learn how to get over my sickness of falling for someone too easily and too fast. As someone who hates doing illogical things, the aforementioned problem is probably one of the only illogical things I do. I hate it. It’s a curse. In terms of academics, it’s a different story. I truly value the power of knowledge. It’s amazing ability to teach us things only to leave us wanting more and asking questions is astounding. Part of me wishes I could read forever. Learn a vast amount of information. But I know there isn’t enough time for that. It also isn’t the only thing this life has to offer. However, I honestly don’t know what else I want to study, other than Medicine. So far in my life I have made it a goal to learn anything I want to learn. It comes naturally to me, the feeling of wanting to learn. It doesn’t come all time but when it does, I can’t help but pursue it. So, in the grand scheme of academics, I’ll do what’s natural to me. In the words of Crush the turtle from Finding Nemo, I’ll just “Go with the flow, dude.”
1. Of what are you most proud in your room?
ReplyDeleteI don't keep trophies or awards in my room, so I can’t relate my pride to a single item that symbolizes achievement. Therefore, I am proud of my entire room. Every little piece of furniture, all four walls, my new lamp...they are all mine. In fact, I saved up to buy a lot of the things in my room. A lot of patience, chores, and frugality allowed me to treat myself and make my special place truly special to me. I am proud of my entire room because I was able to endlessly count my pennies to purchase small things here and there in order to please myself, which I do very rarely.
2. For what would you like to win a Nobel prize? (categories include: World Peace, Literature, Chemistry, Medicine)
Medicine...for Physical Therapy. A lot of colleges I am researching about include research and laboratory experiments as part of their PT Program. With our progressing technology, new Physical Therapy treatments are contrived, tested, and confirmed annually. I’m not someone you would consider to be a highly intelligent “Nobel Prize Winner”, but if I was to win the honorable award, it would be related to my future field of work, Physical Therapy.
3. What have you always wanted to learn: academically, spiritually, and emotionally/mentally?
Academically: I always wanted to learn about Computer Science. My Dad is a Computer Programmer at the FAA and he works with fancy codes and such every day. It seems very interesting and at one point, I considered studying it. But when my Dad described the kinds of complicated mathematics they use each and every day, I ejected the possibility from my head. Although Computer Science is intriguing to me, I would not want to force myself to learn and perform skills that I don’t particularly enjoy.
Spiritually: I have always wanted to be religious. I am technically a Russian Orthodox Christian, but have only gone to church 2 or 3 times in my life, even though my Mom plays piano at a Lutheran church as a side job. Even though I am not sure if I fully believe in a higher being, I am not opposed to religion. My best friends are religious and always welcome me in prayer. The environment that encompasses religion is astonishing. Everyone is appreciative, everyone is welcomed, everyone is equal.
Emotionally/Mentally: When I think of learning emotionally, the first things that come to mind are: to not lie, to not cheat, to push my limits and to challenge myself. But I already do all of these things! I firmly believe that lying and cheating are despicable acts that simply don’t and never should apply to me because I am true to myself and I am true to my honesty. As for challenging myself, that applies more to sports (ex: running faster, pole-vaulting higher, perform better in tennis) and academics (studying for more hours at a time, trying super hard to excel at any given subject) than anything else. I’m sure I am flawed in many ways, but I would need a friend to open up and tell me all the dirt. I’m sure I could improve as a person, but I need an experience to guide me down that path.
I read the first question and my eyes immediately went to the picture of Bernie Sanders hanging up on my wall beside my bed. But then I realized how creepy I’d be if I said that a picture of a 74-year old socialist from Brooklyn is the thing I’m most proud of, so I guess I can’t write about that. My room is pretty devoid of anything sentimental (mostly because the small floor space between my bed and mirror doesn’t allow for much paraphernalia), so the objects that I do decide to keep have a pretty significant meaning. Of these objects are my records, particularly my dad’s old ones, along with my record player. Last summer during the move, my dad found a box full of his vintage Beatles and Simon and Garfunkel and Beethoven albums, so he decided to pass them along to me. They’re not really anything to be proud of, I just value them because they make me feel more connected with my dad; the fact that I’m listening to the same exact music he listened to when he was my age is strangely comforting. Next to my record player on the floor sits a pile of old and worn notebooks, with ripped pages jutting out at awkward angles around the edges. These notebooks, like the records, once belonged to my dad, who filled the pages with poems and unorganized course notes from his college days. In the event that my house were to ever catch fire, these notebooks would legit be the first thing I’d grab. He wrote the majority of his poems in the immediate years following his father’s death, when he was just 16. Because of his inherent tendency to internalize basically all emotion, he released every single thought and feeling onto paper, and in the process created some pretty poignant poetry. Those notebooks hold a level of emotional pain that I didn’t even know human beings were capable of experiencing, and I’m lowkey convinced I’ll find the meaning of life hidden in there somewhere if I look hard enough. Every time I look over at this stack of decaying papers sandwiched between layers of water-damaged cardboard, I’m filled with a sense of pride and respect for my dad, who was able to turn his pain into art.
ReplyDeleteIf I ever won a Nobel prize, I’d like it to be for literature. This is because I suck at math (which probably isn’t a desirable trait to have if you hope to win the Nobel prize in physics, chemistry, economics, or medicine), and because I believe that literature has the ability to influence society in ways that the other categories cannot. An author can give life meaning, can teach humanity moral lessons, can end wars with their words (which could qualify the author for yet another Nobel prize in World Peace, just sayin). The world needs authors to document the trials of the human experience, to define humanity. I would consider my life complete if I were able to impact so many people through my writing and change the world for the better (the bragging rights would also be pretty cool).
I’m interested in learning about a wide variety of topics academically, but, and I know this sounds really random, I’ve always wanted to learn sign language. I find it fascinating how it’s possible to communicate by making no sound whatsoever, and it amazes me how there’s a different hand signal for every word, and that that the human brain is capable of memorizing all of these hand signals. This one girl on the track team is deaf, so she has an interpreter to translate for her, and it’s so difficult not to just stare at them in awe as they communicate back and forth. It seriously blows my mind that two people can have a conversation and exchange ideas without ever uttering a single word.
DeleteSpiritually, I’m confused so I guess my education goal in this field is to become un-confused. The Roman Catholic religion has been forced upon me by my family for as long as I can remember, and growing up I just accepted whatever rules the church said I had to follow. Now, however, I’m not so sure about how much I agree with everything the Roman Catholic church preaches. I really want to figure out who/what I believe in so that I can form my own opinions instead of basing my beliefs off of those of my parents.
Emotionally, I could benefit from learning many things, but a big goal of mine has always been to like and accept myself. I don’t really know how to feel confident because I find that whenever I start to appreciate a certain aspect of myself, I immediately suppress those thoughts and instead put myself down. I know this probably isn’t the best thing to do mental-health wise, I just can’t help it. Hopefully, I’ll figure out exactly why I tend to do this so that I can take steps towards correcting it- because being self-deprecating 24/7 is slightly exhausting.
My entire room is explanation of who I am. When I first moved in I knew my room had to be something that described me. So I can't exactly pinpoint to one thing in my room that I am the most proud of. If I really had to choose though I would have to say it is my desk. When clean my desk wears about 7 things, always. Those things never move. All of those things mean something to me. Throughout the years I have collected these things that sit on my desk. First thing I have 4 “journals” you could call them stacked ontop of eachother. The first one is from NYC, the paper is kind of thick however and kind of plastic and I don't like it very much but I love the backstory and that's why I keep it. The next book is blank page notebook that at time I like to take out when i'm feeling stressed and I will draw on it. That one came from Mexico City and that is why I love it so much. The third one is kind of ugly but it came from center philly from one of the many trips that I have taken there over the years . The last one is also from philly however this one is a leather notebook and was very expensive I believe. I use that one when i'm feeling poetic and I want to let all my feelings out. The next thing on my desk are three pots of markers and coloring pencils which I use every once in awhile. The net=xt thing are candles, soy candles. Those don’t have much meaning but I like the way the smell. I have a picture frame that now sits empty but once held a picture of my grandfather. We were very close and sadly he passed away. One day roaming through old pictures I found this picture that depicted my grandfather so well. I loved it so I took my favorite picture frame and I planted it right on my desk. However one day my grandmother came and took it saying she had been looking for that picture all over the place. I highly doubt it but I had to give it up. I miss that picture sometimes because I feel as if though, he was there with me when I had that picture. Last but not least I have one of those wooden men things used to draw from ikea that I got once a long time ago because I thought it was the “coolest thing” ever. My paintings also sit on my desk but I don't really consider myself that good so I don’t like to look at them. All together though, my desk holds the nearest things to my heart.
ReplyDeleteA nobel prize for medicine is something I would love, I guess because I want to be a nurse. I don't really think about things like that so I can't really go into much detail.
Emotionally, I would love to learn how to let people go. People that I know are bad for me, people that I love so much it’s hard to let go of. I know deep down in my heart though that they are bad for me. I have also always wanted to learn everything and anything that has to do with math. Only because I do not get one single thing. Spiritually right now there is nothing going through my mind. I cannot think of one thing that I would love to learn spiritually, I know there's something out there but right now I don't even have time to think about my homework let alone what I want to accomplish spiritually. I hope one of these days I have the time.
Huh? When I first saw the title of this blog, I thought, “tf is cartography?” Now after I read the blog, I still have no idea what cartography is, so I guess I’ll look that up now. Map-making? I think I actually have learned that word before, but I forgot. So what does that have to do with the questions you are asking? Let me stop questioning things and answer your questions.
ReplyDeleteWhen I first pondered on this question, I thought “there is nothing I am proud of in my room.” First, I realized everything in my room is just stuff that was bought for me by my dad, and how am I going to be proud of someone else giving me money. Then I thought of the stuff hanging on my wall that you can catch behind me if you snapchat me while I’m at home. I was like I guess I could say I’m proud of myself for getting the grades to be the “Junior Scholar Athlete,” on the football team, then I remembered, this is not that much of an accomplishment, no offense to the football team I love all of them, but to have the highest GPA of my grade level taking the classes I do, It’s really not too hard. Then I looked at my varsity scholar stuff, and I just thought, too mainstream and who gives af about grades. Does Manny give mainstream answers on blogs? Only when he does them really late wednesday night and doesn’t want to turn them in after midnight. So I realized, it has to be my Naruto headband. First of all, it is a symbol showing that I have passed my Genin exams and officially became a Shinobi of the Village Hidden in the Leaves. Next, although it is another thing that was bought with money given to me and ordered from Amazon with my sister’s credit card, it symbolizes something. I have never been able to watch a show for more than a couple seasons. I either get bored of it, or I get involved with something else that takes up too much of my time. Now to people like Larry, this light work, but I have watched over 160 episodes of Naruto, maybe over 170, I forget it’s been awhile. That is an accomplishment for me. I haven’t even finished watching the first season of Friday Night Lights yet and I am already starting another show, I plan on going back later, but I don’t think I can show the dedication I showed Naruto to any other show.
SIDENOTE: I just tried to take a shower, and there was no hot water, fml.
DeleteNobel Prize? Never thought of this. I’d say it is a tie between World Peace and Medicine. I would love to somehow get the world at peace because why wouldn’t you? As many of you already know, I hate negativity. This is very hypocritical of me because I am negative but idc be your own person not someone else. Whenever there is negativity I try to defuse the negativity and enlighten it with positivity. I do this on a very small scale (usually involving one or two people and always in this small town that the world does not care about, Mays Landing.) If I can do this on a large scale, like stopping North Korea from being assholes and threatening to bomb shit all the time, and receive worldwide recognition for it, that would be great. Second, Medicine. I would like to cure cancer. It is a horrible disease that kills way too many. It kills hundreds of thousands of people in America annually and millions worldwide. It’s ridiculous, and unavoidable, you can do things to reduce the risk of getting it, but it really is unavoidable and a matter of luck whether you will receive it or not. (I’m pretty sure do not yell at me if I’m wrong.) I have a theory, now I did not come up with myself so do not think I did and do not think I am trying to take credit, but I believe the government could easily find this cure, but they choose not to. The government is very greedy and very corrupt. They make so much money treating all these patients for cancer, so why should they cure it? Because it will saves so many lives, they don’t care about that, our population is growing too much as it is. This is a fucked up belief, but I firmly believe that that’s how they think. So yeah, I wanna say fuck the government and cure cancer and get a Nobel prize for it.
What do I wanna learn? Idk, if we’re talking like actual physical things to know it’d be great to know everything. Contrary to popular belief I do not know it all and I do not think I do. This world is very large and there is an even larger amount of things to be known. Although they would be helpful, I could do without all the physics formulas and those weird greek numeral thingys that they do in calculus 7 that hurt your brain to look at, but beside that knowing everything would be nice. But one thing I would actually like to learn how to not gaf. Well, sometimes i do not, and I have been getting very good at it lately, as you can see from my outfit on hawaiian wednesday or the fact that I walk around in public with a headband from an anime show. But really I wish i could learn how to not care what people think at all. But then again it is sometimes a good thing to care about what people think because if you do not you will be disliked and it can affect your chances at getting a job, etc. Idk I guess another thing that I would like to know is the fine line between things. Like the line between not giving af and caring too much, or the line between being flattering and creepy/annoying. Idk what I’m saying, I think babbling is a sign that this blog is over.
Manny--I defined cartography in the initial post...smh
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ReplyDeleteI am proud of my room in its entirety. Everything goes together and the color pattern matches my furniture nicely. When I was younger I really enjoyed interior decorating…I would always help my mom pick out stuff for the house. My room is painted colonial blue, which doesn't matter to you its just blue, but when you come up on all the paint samples a slight change in the shade matters 100%. You see I have one wall that is covered in oak wood thats stained dark chocolate brown, the colonial blue was light enough not to make the room look small on top of the dark wood but not so light that it drew attention away from my very expensive wall. My bed spread is off white and matches the rest of my furniture which, is also off white. My throw pillows are all kinds of “soft” blues, so like…calming colors. My furniture is all stressed wood, so it looks old and used. My bed is dark iron, to match the wall and draw out the color of the wood. In the corner I have a corner cabinet that instead of a regular door that opens has a screen of chicken wire so you can see inside, inside are all kids of colorful objects and a stack of books. Over my windows a couple dozen ribbons from my riding are draped down like shades. But let me stop, bottom line is that Im most proud of my entire room and all the thought I put into creating my “safe space”. I would like to win a nobel prize for literature. This is because I believe communication can solve many issues in the world. Communication or writing can help bring world peace and many other positive things into the world. And theres also the issue that Im terrible at both medicine and chemistry…and I sometimes create un peaceful situations. Not on purpose just me being a tad bit unstable. Something I have always wanted to learn was how to give up on people. to just let them go and understand they cant be saved or helped or bettered in any way. Some people just cant make it…some people just are not worth stressing over. I always wanted to learn how to rid myself that stress, of the burden of trying to please everyone. It would be nice to be able to push people and all their idiocy out of my brain…but I tend to get a lot of second hand embarrassment for people and I care too much about the wrong ones.
ReplyDeleteI don’t like pride. As stupid as it sounds I think pride can lead to a disgusting personality and changes your spirit. It’s a fear of mine that pride may dent my personality and change who I am so I try to stay away from thanking myself for things God brought me through. However, there are many things in my room that represent the best of memories and the highest points of my life. One of those treasured items is a large, fake, black shell or in other words my “Ursula Shell.” Even though I only performed four shows it felt like it was my career. Never before have I felt so exhilarated and yet so comfortable at one time. Playing Ursula in the “The Little Mermaid” took me on a journey of self-exploration and education. I would not call myself shy but I’m definitely not a flamboyant person. Playing the background is comfortable and being different from everyone else is not a life goal. Loud, ugly Ursula was a whole new world for me. My performance as Ursula not only shocked my friends and family but it shocked me as well, and I couldn’t have enjoyed it more. With every glance at that shell I hear laughter, I can see my crazy nails rattling on my fingertips, and I feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins. Looking at that shell every morning brings back every beautiful moment I had to myself and all the friends who performed with me. That small shell became such a big part of my life.
ReplyDeleteIf I were to receive a Nobel Prize I want it to be a Peace award. I don’t care how great my writing is or what I have created. I only want to make sure that I help someone in this lifetime. I want to create peace for at least one person. Whenever I perform on stage I could care less if I did well or not as long as it touched someone in some positive way. I try not to do things for myself. There is no beauty or adventure in a selfish life. I perform for that one person in the audience that gets it and learns from the words or emotion in my performance. A Nobel Peace Prize is what I strive for. I’m here to help others find happiness and to thrive.
Writing music is such a personal experience. I always tell my friends that my music is my journal, something so close to my heart and something I generally don’t want to share with others. Because of this insecurity no one can critique my music. What am I doing wrong? What am I doing right? If I knew I could improve and maybe do something with my music instead of leaving in a book at home. So, if there was one thing I would want to learn about it would be music composition. Moreover, spiritually I always want to learn more about God. He is the reason I am full, well, and happy. The Bible literally speaks life. It is the only 2000 year old book that can still apply to this modern world in every circumstance. If I grow closer to God and get all I need from the Bible I know that “nothing is impossible in God, who strengthens me.” Ever since I began to pull myself closer to God I noticed the growth in my confidence. The little things that overwhelmed me became so small and I began to see the beauty everything. He taught me I need to put things in perspective. For example, in the beginning of this year I found out that a few of my friends were talking negatively about me behind my back for a good couple of weeks because I got this solo. My first reaction was to act all pissy to those people and confront them, while I was still angry. But what does that accomplish? It would only inflame the situation more and probably leave bad feelings in everyone’s gut; instead I just stepped away from that group of friends realizing that they were not the people for me. I could have thrown it all in their face and yelled but that would not do anything but leave “bad blood” (as Taylor so puts it). I’m glad I learned that lesson before making the mistake. With my broader perspective I see who my true friends are and I am happier than ever.
I’ll be honest here, I don’t really spend much time in my room. If I’m not in class, I’m at drama. If I’m not at drama, I’m in choir. If I’m not in choir, I am in my house in the library, scrambling to do all my homework. If I am not scrambling to do my homework, I am procrastinating and watching Netflix in the family room. If I am not watching Netflix, then I am snoozing on the couch with the curtains closed in the living room. If miraculously I am not doing any of those things, or it is already 11;00, then I guess I can be found in my room. All of this to say, I am really only in my room when I am sleeping for the night, because I don’t even take naps in there; too much light comes in through the curtains.
ReplyDeleteSince I don’t spend much time in my room, it’s not often that I just sit and reminisce on all the memories connected to the things in there. So I guess I’ll do that today. What am I proud of? Proud is defined as “Feeling deep pleasure or satisfaction as a result of one’s own achievements, qualities, or possessions or those of someone with whom one is closely associated” by Oxford Dictionary. The things in my room that make me the most happy and comfort me when I see them is the stuff that reminds me of my dad. The last time we went to Disney together, we rode on Mount Everest together. It was my first serious roller coaster and I was scared out of my mind. My dad was the roller coaster king. So when it came time for when the camera flashes in the middle of the ride, I was screaming my head off with my eyes shut tight and my dad was sitting there with the big smile on his face, just chilling because he was not fazed at all by this ride. He bought our picture to commemorate the occasion and bought this awesome frame in the shape of a mountain. It has been hanging on my wall for years and I can’t help but smile when I look at it.
Winning a Nobel Prize for anything is a big deal. No matter what, it means the person greatly impacted the world through their work. If I’m being honest with myself, it is very unlikely I would win an award for medicine or chemistry. I could be great in those fields, but I am just not the type of person that is interested in labs. Maybe in freshman biology it didn’t bother me so much because it was a lot of work on paper, but these past two years of lab were abysmal. There are just too many things to worry about and there is lots of potential for danger in chemistry labs especially. Now moving on to what does interest me: literature and world peace. I have enjoyed reading ever since I learned how to read, and it would be a dream to be able to put a smile on kid’s face like the way my face lit up when I read my favorite books. Stories are so important for kids because it teaches them to dream big. Speaking of dreaming big, yeah I want to change the world. What’s up with war? Why does anyone have nuclear weapons? Why is gay marriage still not legal in many countries? Why has the U.S. government not enforce stricter gun control yet? These are tough questions, but they deserve to be tackled to better our world as a whole. Making the planet a better place goes hand in hand with spreading peace. If I’m going to do something remarkable enough for a Nobel Peace prize, it would be something to do with literature or world peace.
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DeleteIf I have learned anything in the past year, it’s that people aren’t a finished product you send down an assembly line to release to the masses. We grow in many ways and change over the course of our lifetimes. This past year, things have been looking up for me and I want to keep the positivity going.
DeleteIn terms of this school year, I want to become more independent in certain classes and not lean on my peers. Last year, Kassia and I sat next to each other in choir class, and I grew accustomed to her always being there. I never had to concentrate and focus on upcoming notes because she is a very talented young lady and she would always know what was coming next. This year, I’m in select and in select, we work on some very challenging music. Just like our classes are at a college level, our music is at a college level. We have to work together as a team to make it work, and we are only as strong as our weakest link. This year, I had to toughen up my sight reading skills and tonal memory in order to keep up with all the musically gifted people in my class. I definitely see an improvement from the beginning of the year and I want to keep on going. Just like I shouldn’t rely on other sopranos, I want to discipline myself to not lean on others in discussion. Instead of going off on other people’s ideas, it would be nice to be the one to start the conversation. If I am going to get serious here, college is coming all too fast and there won’t be anyone there supporting me in my classes; it’ll be just me. I really want to work on this now so I can just sail right into class discussions without a problem.
Spiritually, there are lot of things I want to know. Why can’t I talk with the people who I believe are in heaven? If there is one God, why wouldn’t he make us all believe in the same religion? Why do good people die young? Why do bad things happen to defenseless kids? I could go on, but I’m already getting emotional, so I’ll stop there. I just have a lot of questions, but I don’t see answers anytime soon in my future.
I want to know why I procrastinate. What in my brain is making me do this? I know it’s bad, and it stresses me out so much. It’s just not a healthy way to be doing my work, to be honest. I remember I used to do my homework as soon as I came home from school. So I wasn’t always this way. What changed? It befuddles me how I continuously do something I know is bad and causes me sleep and time. Why can’t I stop? I want to figure out how to break this routine because I could be doing much cooler things with my time like working on my drawing skills or actually finishing choreographing dances, but instead I sit around looking at the computer like a cow. If anyone could help me with this, I would appreciate it!! :)
My tapestry that Trina gave me is something I’m most proud of in my room because it is mine and it was for me. Although, Trina is definitely not my favorite- she knew me enough to get something I love in my room. It is mine. My parents fancy my house up for a show- I hate all the furniture in my house and I don’t care how “expensive” or how “fancy”-my house feels like a show. I love stupid comfortable homes with furniture that doesn’t match filled with pictures and character. I want a house filled with things I like, with people I love. That’s having a home. So, shout out to me for being homeless, chu heard. I love my fam and all, but I don’t know. I say “ I wanna go home” a lot even when I’m at my house. Having a home is different. Hmm..off topic, Mr. Oakcrest, buy your ticket $8 from the boys :)))
ReplyDeleteHmm, I know I’m a winner. But, damn well I’m not good at chem or medicine- shout out to World Peace. If I had to be serious, I love people. I’m definitely not peaceful, but I hate physical fighting if that makes a difference. In a way, I see peace in not that you won’t hate other people, but you care. So, I want to win a Nobel Prize for World Peace because I care about the people. Also, I am very tired.
I’ve always wanted to learn, academic wise, is everything. To be honest, I have been doing ALL my homework in study hall for the past two weeks. I have no idea what’s going on in most my classes, I’m excited for March 19th to get back on track. I’m exhausted.
Spiritually-I want to be a good person to everyone and not just the ones I love. I’m not that good at that. Oops.
Emotionally? Damn, I want to learn how to figure out what the fuck they are. I push them away and avoid them so much I can’t even figure them out when I try to dig them out. I’m not good with emotions. I care, I love, whatever. I don’t know.
I’m sorry, ma. I know.
ReplyDeleteWhat am I most proud of in my room, well last weekend I was asking myself the same question so I simply made something I would be proud of. But first I must tell you what my room consists of which is a closet with a dresser inside underneath a bar that holds all my shirts. Most of my shirts are separated by sleeve length, color and compatibility. Next we move to the area of my room that is designated to hold my failures, this may seem weird but I have a reason for everything in my room. After this we move to the wall closest to my door which is host to my TV, a calendar that’s outdated from about two years ago, and a picture of myself running cross country. I have two closets in my room but it just represents my indecisiveness considering it’s just filled with miscellaneous things I have no use for. Then we move to the wall that holds my desk and my bed, which is the place where work and rest are separated. Then we get to my favorite part of my room which on its walls hold my accomplishments, which sounds very conceded but in order to acknowledge your failure you must also acknowledge your accomplishments. What I am most proud of though is at the center of my wall of accomplishments which happens to be nothing. It is just an empty space that one day I plan to make into a window so I can see outside (this technically wouldn’t work because my room is in the basement but nonetheless it is going to become a window). It will one day be a picture frame filled with a drawing I created, that way those who enter my room can see precisely how I view the world that I live in. That drawing will hold my past and my future which is why I am so proud of it (even though I have not created it yet it will be done hopefully over spring break).
What would I like to win a noble prize for? If I could take my pick it would be literature, simply because I find it as a means to world peace and I’m not good at chemistry so that would never happen, and medicine is simply something I have no interest in. I just love writing other than that I can’t think of a reason why else would like to win the award for it. One day I hope to inspire people with my words but until then I just have to try to inspire myself. So until I can inspire myself I don’t really think I have much to add on to this question.
What have I always wanted to learn? Academically would love to learn how to protect people from themselves and from others, which is why either want to go into the military or psychology. People fascinate me, just how everyone reacts to circumstances I just really find amazing. I’ve never been one for spirituality but if I had to choose one thing to learn, it would simply be why religions that were founded by the same man all have so much hate for each other. Abraham Is the father of Christianity, Judaism, and Islam, so why are do his descendants have so much hatred for one another, if they all were to get along they would end most of the world’s problems. I would one day love to see all the unnecessary hatred among religions end and maybe one day that could lead to peace. This is foolish but just take a second to imagine if the worlds hate just simply ended, and how amazing it would be to be alive.
ReplyDeleteIn my room I believe I am most proud of
my records. I thought about saying my record player but I think it's my collection of records in general that I love most. Most of my records that I own are from my grandmother. She passed away when I was in the eighth grade. She was a very wise women and I went to her for a lot. Even though I often at times didn't take her advice she'd give me, she still is whose advice I always took the most serious. When she passed my dad told me I could have all of her records because he knows how much I like music. So now in my room sits piles and piles of records, but the ones I treasure and love most are on top my bookshelf. I play them all the time and as time goes on and I buy records the pile just keeps getting bigger and bigger.
Winning a noble prize would be absolutely amazing, so to win one in general would be amazing but the catogory I would really love to win won in is definetly world peace. I think a noble peace prize that has something to do with helping countries in need would be amazing. I to be completely honest don't know what a person has to do to get a noble peace prize but I'm guessing create peace in sins sort of way or make a peaceful large impact on the world. I know it may not be the biggest issue in the world but the biggest issue in my eyes in the world lies in human trafficking. Just by some of the books I s read and the organizations I've had the opportunity to listen to I know that that is a bigger issue then most people think. It is often overlooked. It is crazy though just how many people that human trafficking actually effects. Young girls lives are ruined families are broken apart, it really is crazy. So the most honorable noble peace prize ( in this day and age) in my eyes would be one that involves the helping of putting and end to human trafficking.
I have only been alive for 16 in June 17 years. So in saying that I still have so much to learn, more than one can even fathom but I know most of what I have to learn will come with age so I'm not that worried about it. Academically though what I have always wanted to learn I'm learning ever so slowly. And that in fact is losing that art of procrastination. Saying that I procrastinate is beyond in understatement. Not to justify my actions but my memory absolutely positively sucks. So I never even remember to do anything until the night of. But in all seriousness there are ways I can not procrastinate as much and as badly but I'm still learning, learning how to put what I know about not procrastinating into place. Learning is just something I haven't yet grasped how to do all the time. Every single situation in life something can be taken from and learned from and sometimes I forget that. Spiritually I want to learn so so much more and I will I just have to except that all I want to learn I'm not going to learn in a day. I want to know why bad things happen to good people I know that's so generic but it's really always been something that bugs me. And I put that under the spiritual category because I find myself at times blaming God for things and I know that's wrong but in situations like such when bad things are happening to good people I just don't know who else to blame. As well spiritually I just really really want to learn how to be able to look for the good in everything. I mean as much as I want to say I just want to have have more facts when it comes to religion so I stop believing and living my whole life on blind faith I really don't mind not having facts. I mean yeah it bugs me but I don't think I'd be open to learning as much if I had facts on one thing. Once people are convinced of something it then becomes hard to sway them cause their mind is set. I guess that leads me to what I want to learn more when it comes to emotionally and mentally. Again what I want to know will come with time and I'll aknowledge that but just because I aknowledge it doesn't mean I like it.
I want to know how to help people more emotionally and mentally. I want to learn that right things to say in bad decisions so that I can help a person get back on their feet. I want to know how to be able to change someones mindset when they are upset. I mean I barely even know how to control my emotions so helping someone out with theirs seems like a foreign concept but I want to learn how. Learning to do all these things is really important to me. I thi kas people age and learn real things they turn into better people in general. So I'm just waiting for that time that I start to learn the things that will in end make me a better person. A person not just able to take care of others but themselves as well.
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ReplyDeleteMy room is a hot mess. Not literally a hot mess because I have really bad OCD, so I organize and clean everything in my room before going to bed. But a hot mess meaning I have sooo much stuff in such a small space. While looking around and pondering what I’m most proud about in my room is seeing 2 varsity letters hanged up on my wall. One for getting Distinguished Varsity Scholar and the second one for getting Varsity field hockey. Sure, it may seem cliche, that I value an award given to me based off of my gpa, and a letter for a sport that I’m not going to play in college. But here’s why I value those two awards: I have worked my ass off to get those two things. Maintaining a high gpa, and making sure to excel in all my classes is so hard. Also playing a fall sport and a sport that goes from after thanksgiving break to the end of the school year is super hard. After field hockey I only get a two week break before winter training starts. Everyday I get home around 6:30, and if my brother has a game I don’t get home till 9:30. I barely have any motivation to do any homework when I get home, and I’m soooooo tired. Instead of going to sleep at a decent hour, everyday I go to sleep at 1 or later. Taking honors and an AP class has tested me in so many ways. I still manage to get all my work done in time. And I still manage to keep A’s and B’s. (Except for a once a year C in my math classes). Next, to my award for field hockey. I worked super hard for two years to get a varsity letter. Sure my freshman and sophomore year I played in varsity for some seconds or 1 to 2 minutes. But I wanted to play the WHOLE time for varsity. So then this year I worked even harder, and at one point Toy said to someone on the sideline while watching us scrimmage against Holy Spirit, “Ang is a beast.” Hearing that filled me with so much happiness, and I felt so proud. When my team members nominated me to be given the Unsung Hero Award, I had to hold back tears of joy. I was so happy that they seen I was working so hard, and I didn’t care about being recognized. I cared about bettering myself as well as my team. To finally be given a varsity letter was one of the happiest days of my life. A day that I’m waiting for, and that I think will be another happy day is to graduate from either med-school or nursing school. I want to do something in nursing, medicine, and maybe become a doctor.. I’m not sure yet though. I would want to win a Nobel Prize in medicine. I watch waaaaaayyyyyyy too much Grey’s Anatomy. Seriously, after I finish watching a episode I think I can perform surgeries, and diagnose people. But in Grey’s Anatomy Meredith Grey’s mother Ellis Grey was nominated five times, and won twice. The creations she made, and her passion for medicine and surgery, and helping people, is something I want to do. To win a Nobel Prize because I made some cool, techy heart thing that saved lives, would be an honor and a dream come true.
ReplyDeleteSo many things in my life would be a dream come true if I actually did what I’m striving for. Something I’ve always wanted to learn academically is to go more in depth in psychology and with the human body. Learning about the brain, and disorders, and everything in the human body has me so fascinated. There’s so much to learn, and why wouldn’t anyone want to know about their body? What I want to learn spiritually is ghosts, the afterlife, and religions. Although thinking about ghosts scares the hell out of me, I still talk and watch tv shows involving paranormal activity. The afterlife is something that is just cool as hell, yet weird at the same time. The topic of the afterlife is something that you have to learn in depth to understand it. And lastly religions. There’s so many religions out in the world. I like seeing what other people worship and believe in. Also I agree with some parts of different religions, so it’s always good to be open to everything the world has to offer. And finally what I want to learn emotionally/mentally is coping with stress better, and communicating better with people. I shut myself out from everyone and keep all my feelings bottled up. (I know this is bad, but I’d rather not talk about my feelings, or anything really). Finally when my bottle reaches the maximum capacity I break down. It happens in the most randomest moments too. I can be in math class and then something happen and I just start crying hysterically. I let my stress get the best of me, and I just get too overwhelmed to do anything anymore. But I think once I master communicating and coping better, I’ll be a lot happier than what I am now.
DeleteI do not take pride in many things but I do take great pride of the room I've spent two years perfecting. My room consist of four walls, obviously. I have my "accomplishments" wall, though I call them all half accomplishments because they are just times when I was almost good enough… Next, I have my drama wall. My drama wall has all the stars people have bought for me for the shows I've been in, the ad books from all my shows, and the show posters. That wall is very special to me. To the right of my drama wall I have my, "this shit is so cool but im the only one that appreciates it wall." That wall has all of my favorite movies, a ton of old yet amazing records, star wars and other killer cassettes, my record player, my best actress award, and a John Lennon and Ghost Busters poster. That wall is incredible but it comes in a very close second to the thing I am most proud of in my room: my "Wall of Fame." I literally have this wall labeled as "Wall of Fame" in red letters, this wall has 100 polaroid pictures I have taken hanging on thin brown strings. I have taken each and everyone of those pictures and they all have special meaning to me and every picture has a beautiful memory within it. I am so proud of this wall because pictures mean more to me than I could explain and whenever I am feeling down I look at those pictures and I instantly get happy. Those pictures are just snip bits of the extraordinary life I live and the amazing adventures I go on.
ReplyDeleteIf I could win a noble prize I would want it to be in either world peace or literature. I know you want an in-depth reason for our choice but I don’t exactly have one. It would just be an amazing honor to be recognized for helping the world become a better place. But, now that I am writing this I think I would prefer the literature award over world peace. Although, I have built my life around helping people, writing is just something that has played a major role in my life ever since I was little and everyone can help and be a "good" person but it takes a certain type of skill and dedication to be a good writer so I hope to one day be one. And if I could write something so profound and enlightening that could win me an award than that would be a dream come true.
I seriously love learning but besides English I couldn’t care less about the things I learn in school. I believe that the important things are taught and learned outside of school. But since you did ask for academically I suppose I would like to learn how to actually apply the rhetorical appeals into my writing because honestly anytime you think that I've been purposely using a rhetorical appeal its been completely accidental. I know that's not something you want to hear, im sorry, im just being honest. I swear im trying though, I don’t know why I cant grasp the most simply concepts.
Moving on. Emotionally/mentally I would over all love to learn what it feels like to truly and whole-heartedly love myself. An old friend of mine once said to me, "I don’t know when this is going to happen but when you learn to love yourself it is going to be amazing." I think about that quiet often, I have tried so hard to love myself but so many things are steering me in the opposite direction of that. I am working at doing things for myself and treating myself better but I know that this is going to take a very long time but I will not give up on this task. Baby steps, baby steps. As for spiritually I would like to learn what its like to walk into any room or any place in general and not feel any type of anxiety. I want to be able to feel "free" and not like everyone hates me or that im about to mess something up. The only time I am able to escape my anxiety is when I am outside and completely alone, which isn't very often but when I do get those opportunities it is very spirit lifting knowing that im not causing any problems for anyone. If I could feel that way at school or just out in public in general I would be a lot more pleasant to be around. My anxiety stops me from doing so many things and there is nothing I can do about it but if I can learn to handle that better than I know many of my problems would be solved.
DeleteUnfortunately for my mom, I didn’t inherit her clean freak personality. I’m not saying that I like things dirty, I’m just a disorganized person. Which leads to my room looking like a mess. I usually clean my room once a week because after a week my room looks rough. I guess that kind of like my personality. I’m kind of disorganized and just everywhere with my work. I try not to be though. It’s only when I’m really lazy is when I get really disorganized. Looking at my room now, it doesn’t look too bad. Looking at my wall where I hang my pictures and certificates I think what I’m most proud of are all my varsity letters for the sports I’ve done. I have one for volleyball and two for track. My varsity letter from volleyball reminds me of all my volleyball games and how much I wish volleyball season could start already. It’s the reason why I look forward to school starting. It might sound crazy but knowing that I have volleyball practice gets me through the day. I look forward to it. My varsity letters show how much time and dedication I’ve put into this sport and they just make me happy. My varsity letters from track remind me of all the sweat and hardwork I put into training. Track is not easy. Especially when you have a crazy college coach that makes you do insane workouts.On every run I always think “Why am I doing this? I hate running. I want to quit.” My track letters show that all those insane workouts were not for nothing.
ReplyDeleteIf I won a Nobel I would want it to be for Medicine. Medicine interests me so if I could win an award for doing something that I’m actually interested in would be amazing. More specifically I would want to win it by finding a cure to a disease that people have yet to find. I would want to give easier access to this medicine for people who need it but can not afford it.
I’ve always wanted to learn basic life skills. School teaches you academic things but I want to learn how to do everyday things. Like learning how to buy a house, how to fix a car, and how to manage a bank account. I don’t want to be 23 years old and googling “how to manage my bank account”. I don’t want to be an adult and not know how to do any of these things.
My room contains a lot of different items. Not because I own a lot of things, just because I am a bit of a hoarder. Probably linked to my ocd. But don’t worry I don’t keep like old food and gross stuff in there. I am proud of the many things that sit piled inside my room. The first thing is my clothes. Now you probably think, “how are you proud of clothes?” My clothes are like everything to me. I buy most of them and I take pride in them. I used to dress like an ugly tomboy in my awkward stage until I finally learned style and made up my own styles. I love clothes and dressing up and I am proud that I learned how to dress and buy nice clothes. The second item i am most proud are my high soccer awards. I used to keep all my travel soccer trophies in my room but then just put them in a different room because I didn’t value them that much, (didn’t throw them out because I can’t throw anything out). High school soccer is honestly dumb and does not man anything, but to me it is one of the best parts of my high school experience. While having people like Jenna on my team it is kind of hard to even be noticed especially as a 5”1 defender. My freshman year I started varsity and played every game and was given a “Rising Star Award.” I do not have much confidence in myself at all and getting that award my freshman year really made me feel good and boosted my self esteem. Sophomore year I got best defensive player as so did the whole back line. This did not mean much to me because it was everyone but it was still a nice honor. Junior year I was awarded best defensive player as my own, just me and that also made me very happy and I felt recognized as a defender because usually defenders do not get the credit the goal scorers get. The third item I am proud of in my room is my microphone. I am proud that I have come out of my shell and showed people my voice. I still hold back and do not show it that often but I only grow more and more everyday.
ReplyDeleteWinning a Nobel prize is impossible for me. However, if I really won one, I would like it to be for mental illness. Honestly, all I want is for mental illness to go away. People do not see it as serious health concerns because it does not affect your body but it really can and is so serious. I just want to help every person suffering. Everyone says some mental illnesses are curable, and maybe in some cases they are, but most of them are just controlled not cured. I want to cure them completely. I want that little girl with panic disorder to live without panic attacks, or the homeless men with schizophrenia to live peacefully and not rely on medications and do trial and error just to try to ease their symptoms. I want that women whose bipolar and in a manic episode to not want to jump off a building because she thinks she can fly. I want to help these people but it isn’t really possible. But if it was, that is what I would win a Nobel prize for. I would win for inventing one pill that you take once that cures all mental illnesses. I just want mental illness to go away.
Academically, what I always wanted to learn, hmm, isn’t it obvious? The horrid subject of math. I can not wrap my head around how people understand math!! And I do not see how it is useful. I wish I could understand it or see it’s point. Spiritually, here I go again with my crazy ghost stuff, but really spiritually I want to further my abilities. Oh my god I sound insane. But like Theresa Caputo grew up experiencing the same things I do and went to someone to help her interpret her experiences and I would like to do that too. Emotionally/mentally, wow there’s a lot I would like to learn, but let's just stick with a couple. I want to learn how to not criticize myself for everything I do. I want to learn how to just relax sometimes and not need everything to be controlled. Lastly, I want to learn how to not worry about everything. The list goes on but those are the main things I would like to learn mentally.
I’m proud of my walls. And that sounds peculiar and maybe even cliche or bland, but I am. I’m proud of my bedroom walls.
ReplyDeleteThey used to be purple, each wall a different shade, and purple used to be my favorite color. Every bicycle I had as a kid was purple. Every birthday card, purple. My nails, always purple. At my mom’s house and my dad’s house, my bedrooms were themed in purple. The walls, carpets, and bedspreads...all purple. It calmed me down, made it easier to sleep. It reminded me of lilacs, my mom, and springtime gardens.
At some point though, they instilled restlessness in me. In the color purple, I saw shivering winter trees naked to the bitter cold. I saw pale skin rigid with boney hills and deep with valleys. I saw tears in my purple pillow cases occasionally joined by frustrated screams. I saw a milk-crate sized square engraved into my purple carpet as a result of my daily two hour step-up routine. I saw someone lonely, someone I hated in the mirrors that my purple walls bordered. And as the days spent isolated within the color purple became torturous years, I grew to hate the color purple almost as much as I hated food and my own falsely-perceived reflection.
In response, and as an additional attempt to “get better”, I painted my walls “ocean blue”. I bought a new blue down comforter, and sheer white curtains. I even layed a blue shag rug out that stretched from wall to wall. I’m proud of my walls because they resemble oceans instead of mere lilacs and strength instead of restlessness (there’s a difference). There were four walls. I conquered four purple things and painted them blue. That’s what I’m proud of.
I’d want to win a nobel peace prize for world peace. I feel like world peace is kind of a benefit to the other categories. With world peace, more people’s ideas would be heard in a lot of different fields. And world peace just seems more important to me than the other categories.
Being that I’m privileged enough, compared to other kids in other places of the world, to have access to education, I want to learn the most that I can academically. There’s no such thing as too much education. I genuinely like learning about things in all areas. spiritually I want to figure out what I believe only after learning an equal amount about each religion. Sometimes, I feel hopeless, or anxious, about what exists and what doesn’t. Seriously, I sometimes have panic attacks wondering about what exists, and what happens when we die. Emotionally I want to figure out how to really really actually take my own advice and love myself. I guess that counts as “spiritual” too, in a sense. But I have a hard time with confidence, and for years I’ve been trying to work it out but it’s harder than I ever thought it would be.
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DeleteWhen you asked about the one thing I am most proud about in my room, I was slightly confused. Then, I got to thinking. I just re-did my room this summer for (about) $2000! It was a birthday gift, because boy, my room looked like a 12 year old threw up on it (and metaphorically, I did, when I was 12 hahah). So, I spent 2 months searching all over the inter-webber-net for furniture, home deco., and bed spreads. First, I had to find the paint. Which of course took a long time, until I found a relatively cheap and pretty room set. Then, everything fell into place! The paint was called "Essential Gray". I remember this because I was freaking out after painting the first wall. It looked way too purple-y for my liking! But, no worries, when it dried, it was exactly the color I wanted. My bedroom set is white and my bed has a gray upholstered headboard. I also was able to get a vanity and a dresser (which surprisingly, I have never had before -- only a closet). I absolutely love my bedsheets and color scheme; it literally goes with anything! My color scheme is baby pink, gold, black, gray, and white. My covers are the cutest part! They are baby pink with ruffles all over them, and so are the shams. The sheets are white and have the most adorable navy hearts on them. I have some artwork that I am trying to find space for, but I just don't have the right tools to hang them with. One is absolutely adorable, my favorite; it says "home is where the heart is" with a gold glitter New Jersey, topped off with a heart on Mays Landing. I don't want to damage my newly painted walls! So, to answer your question, the thing that I am most proud of in my room IS my room. I put a lot of time and energy into it, and every day it pays off when I see it! :)
ReplyDeleteI think that it would be pretty cool to win a Nobel Literature Prize. Not that I like to write articles or books and stuff, but I would like to win it for writing songs. Bob Dylan was in the running for a Nobel Prize in 2014, but most winners are poets, short story writers, or people who have written books and screenplays. Music and poetry really means a lot to me. It’s a way I’ve learned to express myself. Through every up and down, every relationship, every breakup. It would be an honor to have other human beings understand the meaning to my music.
I’ve always wanted to learn how to manage my money. Important things like mortgages, checking accounts, credit cards, debit cards, etc. Hopefully, I will learn that in Financial Lit class next year! Spiritually, I would like to learn how to grow in my relationship with God. I have a rough time giving in to church and the bible, even though I know it is true and right. I feel like I never have the time to pray, but when I do I feel this weight lift off of my shoulders. It’s honestly really confusing, so I’m hoping for some guidance to come my way. Lastly, I want to learn how to stay no and stand up to myself. I feel like sometimes I can be a real pushover. Then I find myself saying, “you should’ve done this…” I’ll be stressed out (because of my refusal to say no) or doing something I really don’t want to (or shouldn’t) do.
1. Of what are you most proud in your room?
ReplyDeleteI am not proud of anything in my room. I am not a hoarder or a sentimental picture taker. I recently painted my walls and cleaned out my room of everything I didn’t need. My walls are basically bare. My stuffed animals are in Goodwill. My mirrors are in the hallway to form one body length mirror. I know I'm not proud of anything in my room because I could part with all of it. If my house were to set on fire, I would grab my phone and make sure my dogs and mother were out of the house. And the only reason I would take my phone with me is to tell my siblings what's happening.
2. For what would you like to win a Nobel prize? (categories include: World Peace, Literature, Chemistry, Medicine)
I would like to win a Nobel Prize in Medicine. This is not just because 34% of the time I am illiterate, just because without my friends and the internet I would be failing Chemistry, or just because I still want to see my first fight in person at Oakcrest. I have this idea to make the shots everyone gets at the doctors office into pills. This could be extremely beneficial to children who are afraid of needles or teenagers and adults who hate and are scared of needles…i.e. me. Instead of receiving flu shot vaccinations, stores could give flu pill vaccinations. I am sure there are many, many flaws with this idea. But, I'd rather take a pill than a needle in my arm any day.
3. What have you always wanted to learn: academically, spiritually, and emotionally/mentally?
Emotionally, I have wanted to learn to be undemonstrative on the inside. I can make a huge poker face and hide my emotions on the outside but sometimes I wish I didn’t care about certain things. I wish I didn’t care about petty girl things but I do even if it is a little bit.
Academically, I have always wanted to learn how to write a good book (not a legit book but something for me about my life). In reference to what I want to learn emotionally, I would like to write so I can illustrate what I feel on the inside. Again, I am undemonstrative and you will never see me cry, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to express my feelings somehow. I'd rather not talk to people about my feelings because 1) I feel like the person I happen to be talking to doesn’t care and/or 2) my emotions are irrelevant in life compared to real, bigger problems in the world. So, I either bottle my emotions up inside until they wither away and become nonexistent, or I TRY to write about them. I put words on a piece of paper. Sometimes, no train of thought enters my mind. I just write. I would like to use "sensory, descriptive detail, strong doing verbs, a healthy mix of active and passive voice, maybe a lit device here and there" while I am writing my thoughts down but the pathos side of me takes over and throws all of my lang lessons out of my ears.
Spiritually, I would like to definitely, without a doubt know what will happen when I die. There are hundreds are different theories on what will happen but the only people that know can share their wisdom with us. I want to know if I should come back as an animal or if I'd make it into heaven or I'd die and that would be the end of me.
My room is lifeless. It has one window which I never open. It has one closet which I do not use since it is where my mom stores extra stuff (my home contains so much extra stuff that it basically is a junkyard now). It has one bed which is used by my grandma (she left for India yesterday so I can use it again). I shared the room with her because she is scared of being alone; before she left, she was really scared and was crying because she would “feel” alone in India. Even though it is considered my room, I do not use most of it. I have my study desk in a corner along with my dresser in which I keep my clothes. I am a very unorganized person so my study desk is a mess as well so I can not be proud of that. There is nothing special in my room; there are no photos of me accomplishing anything except Davies graduation (which I can’t be proud of since it was as easy as eliminating Donald Drumpf from possible choices for presidency), there are no actual awards or medals, and there is no personal work of art besides a wooden box, which I made in wood tech, and my gym bag, which I sewed in a class, in 7th grade (the teacher walked me and everyone else through for both so it is not really my personal work of art). I don’t have a bookshelf because I do not believe in buying books (why would you when you can read online without paying a single penny? Or if you are not one of those people (like Bunje), then you can rent them out in library for free!) unless if it really close to you and won’t mind reading it over and over again. The only thing I can really be proud of is my iMac which I received because I excelled in my freshmen year and took two AP classes my sophomore year. Their rationale for giving it to me was not because I did well; they gave it to me so I can work on it with silence (not really) in my room and not have to borrow my dad’s laptop. They didn’t flat out say it; I figured that they made it seem like a reward to make me feel good.
ReplyDeleteIf I were to win a Nobel Prize, it would be in one of the sciences (including Physics). I like science, especially biology, and medicine interests me so I would most likely get the Nobel Prize in medicine. It is always unsettling for me when I am asked what I want to be and the only answer I can give is “something in the medical field”. I have no insight on what I want to focus on or what I will do when I become that person. If I were to get a Nobel Prize in medicine, I am pretty sure it would be because of my invention in the medical field that will affect the world greatly in a good way.
Academically, I want to learn everything about science and math. “Believe you can and you are halfway there” by Theodore Roosevelt is one of my favorite inspirational quotes and it tells me that even though there is a lot of information to take in, I can do it if I can believe in myself. I want to learn different kinds of primes such as twin primes, sexy primes, cousin primes etc. I want to learn why happy numbers are happy (as in why they are calculated the way they are). I want to learn the functions of the body (beyond the simple descriptions that we learn at a young age). I can go on and on but I am pretty sure you do not want me to. Spiritually, I want to learn and be able to prove whether god exist and what my existence in the world really means. Mentally, I want to learn how to get my act together and be able to control myself. I tell myself to do one thing but I end up doing the other.
Two words can describe my room pretty well, geeky and unorganized. Once you walk into my room, either my T.V. or my baby blue wall covered with different posters will catch your attention. My posters are weird so don’t judge because I have a reason for it. I have 10 posters in total. Two of them are video games related, three of them relates to anime and cartoons, a Phillies poster showcasing Jimmy Rollins, three different movie posters, and a poster presenting the first five original Power Rangers. It feels weird going to sleep since one of the movie posters is just a full body Godzilla looking dead center at my bed. Until I find a good spot to place it, I have to get used to it. I chose to hang up these posters because it describes my interests as a geeky guy with a hint of sports mix in. I don’t play baseball, but I like watching it with my parents and it sorta got me hooked on collecting some of the baseball cards. I have a computer desk and drawer, both unorganized and have random things. A closet, something almost everyone has for storing objects like clothes or random things. A T.V. and my bookshelf. My bookshelf has to be my proudest thing in my room because it is the only thing that I organized ever since I was little and shows my process of growing up. My bookshelf has 4 levels and each contains certain things. From the bottom to the top, movies (old and new), my video games, my model kits and old toys, and my books. It provides a procession on how my taste of interest changes and reminds me of the feeling of nostalgia when glancing at them. Almost every objects on that shelf contain a story behind them and it makes me feel proud that I pick those items. It's like building a card tower at a young age only to complete it as a teen or create a goal only to achieve it in a few years. You get the feeling of “YEAH, I did that and I work hard to finally accomplish it. Looking back at it, I struggle with obstacles blocking my way but the reward pays off.”
ReplyDeleteIf I was aiming for a Nobel Prize, I would get one in World Peace. I am not good with chemistry, literature, or medicine, but I want to try world peace. I want to make a positive impact on the world in any way, could impact one person or one country. Helping others may seem like a hard work, but it pays off at the end when you see a person smile filled with hope and happiness. People like the 14th Dalai Lama and Barack Obama didn’t have to help others and create a positive impact on the world. But they wanted to because they feel like they have a duty to help others in need and they can do it in a nonviolent way.
Academically: I want to learn about the Asian culture. From the exotic foods to the wonderful attractions, it just intrigues me and makes me wonder how Asia is a great continent. Like who ever thought about having a sport where “big” grown men wrestle each other in a small circle. Not the USA or Europe thought about it. Only Asia did, more specifically Japan. Each country in Asia contain awesome things. It’s not that I don’t like our culture or the other continent’s culture, but I just got more interested in Asian culture because while we see their activities or events as “weird” they find it acceptable and not weird.
DeleteSpiritually: The first thing that pops up in my head is me becoming a monk and living in a temple isolating myself from the world. So I want to learn how to become a monk. I see monks every time I visit my Laos temple in Philly or Virginia just looking calm and peaceful. I want to know how they act like that and what is a daily routine for them. One time my brother and I were asked by my Laos monks to shave our hair and join them to perform the normal ritual at a temple. I refused, but my brother accepted it. It was only for one day, but I was scared that people will make fun of me and call me “baldy”. Right now, I starting to wonder what if I took that opportunity and became a full-time monk. What if, What if, What if.
Emotionally/mentally: I want to feel what devotion and a long time motivation feels like. I know what motivation feels like, but I want to see how that feeling would affect me throughout my life and how it would affect my future. Imagine feeling motivated to a certain something like running good 5k times and only just focusing on that throughout your life. I see people having that devotion feeling, but I just want to have a taste of that. It looks like a hard thing to do since that means somewhat ignoring everything only to focus that sole thing. It interests me on their commitment and their passion for the thing they love.
In my room at my mom’s house, I have the standard four wall bedroom with the iconic blue paint since this room was childhood room. Then I have my desktop and shoes and other things that I keep on my bookshelf such as my globe, trophy, deck box for my yugioh cards, and a sailboat in a bottle. But the things i’m most proud of in my room in my metal bulletin board which is also magnetic. I put all my papers and different memories on there. I have my varsity letters on there, my varsity scholar letters on there, and pictures from my first season playing snare drum for marching band, and countless tickets of movie dates and the ticket when I went to go see Serena Williams lay in the final of the U.S Open. Looking at all these things makes me proud, because I can always look back and remember how far I’ve come and achieved so far in life.
ReplyDeleteWinning the Nobel Prize in any category would be great, but I would want to win mine in Physics. I want to be able to use my career as an Engineer to help better the lives of everyday people. That could be from making a prosthetic limb that can use stem cells to attach itself to the remain of the limb of the person. So in that case, the prosthetic feels more life like. Or possibly I can build a microscopic mechanism that goes inside your body and checks all your vital signs and checks for any harmful bacteria or signs of any disease.
Academically, I want to learn more about my family tree on my father’s side. My father has never his met father before, who is my biological grandfather. My dad came to America at two years old and my grandma has never told him about my grandfather. The only way I knew my aunt and my dad were step siblings was of one letter in my last name. And from that moment, I’ve wanted to know who my biological grandfather is. Just the sense of knowing will truly help me how everything connects.
Spiritually, I want to learn to not overthink and relax. Sometimes my girlfriend and I would get into fights because I overthink our conversations too much. And then that leads to not talking to each other for a few hours and then makeup between us. If I didn’t over think things so much, I would definitely be a more relaxed and calm person. And I wouldn’t be nervous all the time.
For Emotionally and Mentally, I want to learn to have more confidence in myself. I am very insecure about myself, pertaining to my image, weight, height everything. Today I had a scrimmage for tennis today. And even though I won; I started to break down during the middle games where I was messing up. I would tell myself, “What are you doing!!!” Or “What the hell was that Josh!!”. But I soon took some deep breaths and my game started to come back to me again and I played a very good game today.