I don't think it's too brash of me to say that nearly everyone has at least HEARD of Eminem, right? I think I'm a fan--but I go back and forth on that after listening to "97 Bonnie &Clyde" a few times.
Anyway, he wrote the line in the header, although I doubt very much he was the first to ever say it.
How many times have you said to yourself, and for that matter, to anyone who would listen--"I don't care what anyone else thinks..."?
I know I've said it at least once in the past month! In our heart of hearts, though, do we really believe that?
It seems an age-old question, but it is one that may not have just one answer: to what extent do other people's perceptions of you have an impact on the decisions you make?
Peer pressure, parental pressure, self-imposed pressure, all these external or internal forces/influences have the potential to make you act, or react, in ways that you normally might not if never exposed to those influences.
My question is: Why? Why do we care? Why is it important? Why do other people's perceptions or expectations of who we are have so much of an influence on us? Or do they? Be honest with yourself when you answer.
This question is a precursor to what is to come in the following weeks, so think of it as "prewriting." :)
I do not like Eminem, or really any music from the 21st century (music died in 1994 when Kurt Cobain killed himself at around the same time when Justin Bieber was born; perhaps Cobain knew that Bieber would become famous and kill music and could not go on living as long as music was dead). With that said, Eminem, I am pretty sure, does not ROCK out on an electric guitar, so he does not interest me, and his quote does not interest me. If it were a quote from Nirvana, Black Sabbath, or Pink Floyd, then maybe it would. Eminem does not ROCK out on an electric guitar; therefore, he has no talent and I care not for what he has to say.
ReplyDeleteI do, however, care, a little, about what Ms. Bunje has to say; and Ms. Bunje says, “I don’t care what anyone else thinks,” so I will respond to her, not to this Eminem guy. (And really, “Eminem”? What a horrible stage name! “Led Zeppelin”. That is a good stage name. “Eminem” sounds like a small piece of chocolate candy that second graders are allowed to eat as a reward for doing their homework.)
People, it seems, often say that they “do not care what others think” in an effort to show independence. Perhaps it makes them feel better about themselves, but, to go back to last week’s blog post, people usually are not independent because they often feel a need to belong. Thus, in many instances, when they say that they “do not care what others think”, they are lying. It is coded in their genes to care about what others think. Think about it: which organism would be more successful: the organism that cares not what others think about it—a truly independent organism—that isolates itself from the group of other organisms that depend on each other to survive and look out for one another because they do care, or the other organism that is in the group of caring organisms? The organism that does not care what others think about it is more likely to isolate itself and live in solitude. That organism is less likely to have offspring, having no organisms of the same species living with it, and is more likely to get killed off by another group of organisms. Nature has fought this and has given solitary animals, like sea turtles, the ability to survive against predators, the turtle’s hard shell, and a means around the problem of finding a mate, the fact that a sea turtle (depending on the species) can easily lay over a hundred eggs (with a hundred eggs, there is not much of a need for many mates). Humans have not evolved either of those two traits; instead, they evolved a behavior: living in communities that protect, care for, and care about all of their members. This is important because without this behavior, humans would either have gone extinct or evolved two traits similar to those that the sea turtle evolved.
I suppose it is kind of hypocritical to say that I do not care what others think, given that I am a human and I just asserted that humans have evolved the trait of caring for each other, but, the truth is, I was exaggerating a bit. In today’s society, care for one another is not as important as it was in the past, when humans did not even reach the hunter-gatherer stage in their evolution, so people born today with the trait of not caring are not as likely to die off as they would have been if born in the past. I suppose I am a mutant—an X-man, if you will—when it comes to this type of thing. I do experience the trait of caring what others think, but in a different way. For example, to go back to my taste in music, my family listens to, dare I say it, rap and pop music in the car. This influenced my taste in music because I do not want to be like my family, so I found a different genre of music to listen to: ROCK, not soft rock: ROCK. In order to block out the sound of the pop music while in the car, I was forced to blair ROCK music in my headphones; country and soft rock were not loud enough; heavy metal worked quite well. And so this is how other people have molded my personality: when I do not want to be like someone, I become their exact opposite, and, thus, I do not care what they think of me as long as they do not like me; that is, as long as I am not like them.
DeleteI agree with you on the part in which you said that its human nature to care about what others think. I don't really get how animals relate to this since they function totally different from us but since you're Brian I'll let it pass. I'm glad that you can be your family's polar opposite because not many people can do that. People tend to be the same as others so they fit in.
DeleteNo matter how many times I tell myself that I don’t care what other people think, I doubt it’ll ever come true. For instance, today sparked a moment where I told myself to not care what other people think, which hasn’t been the first time this month that I’ve told myself that, and guess what I still did… cared about what other people think. I often think of what other people would think or say about something I do or say before I act on that certain thing or say whatever it is I may want to say. This has held me back from so many things in life it’s ridiculous. I’m pretty sure this stems from my insecurity issues, but in this society I feel like it’s almost inevitable to legitimately not care one bit about what other people think. All today’s society is, is living up to each other's standards. God forbid you did or said something that wasn’t the “right” thing to do or say, people judge you negatively. They think bad about you. But don’t forget about the people who only care about what people think of them in a positive way. The people that only act on something or say something just to make everyone think good of them.
ReplyDeleteTelling ourselves to not care what other people think is more of a cushion, if that makes any sense. It’s something for us to fall back on when we’re really hurt about caring, and we can tell ourselves that to boost ourselves back up. “ I don’t care what anyone else thinks,” is just a 29 letter, 7 word lie we tell ourselves. Well, not all of us exactly because I do know some of the rare people who 100% give no hoots about what anyone else thinks. Although I wish I could be like them, the majority of us don’t actually believe it no matter how many times we say it.
We care so much of what other people think because that’s how it is now. I say that very vaguely because to explain today’s society would take me all year and I have better things to do… surprisingly. We care because that’s all that’s expected of us. If we didn’t have to meet certain standards and expectations, we wouldn’t accomplish anything. Just as if we didn’t have any due dates in school, no one would do anything, resulting in accomplishing nothing. We care so much about what other people think because if not, there would be no competition. And if you’ve noticed, everything is a competition nowadays.
People’s perception on what you do has a huge influence on what people do. I mean who would wear a polka dot shirt when all the popular girls are wearing stripes? No one would. And the reason for that is that you then wouldn’t fit in. This ties in with our previous blog. We think it’s so important to care about what other people think because if we didn’t, we wouldn’t fit in. Our world is a screwed up ball of prissy, petty, no good people who have shaped our society to be nothing but “fitting in” and “caring about what other’s think” and I hate it. :)))
People who say that they don’t care what others think of them are liars, even the ones who may truly believe that. Because deep, deep down they’re only kidding themselves. So, why? Why do we care what others think of us? It’s honestly such a simple answer. We care because we’re human. It’s in our nature. It’s in our blood to want to feel socially accepted and not alienated, so in order to achieve that we make ourselves up based on what other people think. And it’s not important to believe in what other’s think because, at the end of the day, we are the ones who control our own lives and we are the only ones that we need to please. But sadly, that’s not what happens. We find other people’s opinions of ourselves way more important than our own opinions of us. And trust me, I do it too. Because we think it’s important to fit into a society where it’s basically just a bunch of people’s thoughts against our own.
ReplyDeleteI think other people’s perceptions of us have such a big impact on our lives because we all just want to be accepted by those around us, so if what they expect is what they want then sometimes we’ll try to live up to those expectations. It all comes down to our need of belonging. Most of the times the decisions we make are based on wanting to please others and what they perceive rather than our own choices. And I have that happens to me a lot. I always find myself in circumstances where I choose something centered on what other’s think rather than what I want. It’s a problem, really. Because I can say that mostly everything I do comes from the single thought in my head that says “what will they think about it?” And, even though I know that I care way too much about what other people think of me, I can’t change it. I can’t tell myself to not worry about them because I always will.
I agree with your blog, Cyn, because this is what I wrote about in my blog. Everyone wants the feeling of belonging somewhere, and that is why we care so much about what other people think of us. Even though we try to avoid listening to other people's perceptions, it's unavoidable because we always here something. But sometimes we have to try and fight those comments, because you're right, the only person we should ever try to please is ourselves.
DeleteI agree with your blog because its true that we care because its our nature. And you're completely right by saying that the only people we should ever try to please is ourselves.
DeleteI agree with always caring and not being able to stop but I don't agree with, we're all human. Yeah we are human with a brain and a heart but we're heartless. No one can say to me that a girl might walk in with a gothic look and you won't say something in your head. It's the way we are taught. We say don't be mean but you see your mom yelling at her mother all the time? What about not stealing but your dad is committing insurance fraud? We are just terrible people. Everyone. We can try but never succeed.
DeleteI don't really count how many times I tell myself to "not care," I can't even recall myself saying that to myself, but what I know I do is that I keep it my mind. Does that make sense? I don't always think about what other people might think of me, but in the back of my head I keep this mentality that "I should care less about other people's thoughts." I instinctively know that. I don't always succeed at "not caring," but I keep it up. It becomes a big problem for a person to care a lot about other people's thoughts about themselves and I try to avoid that problem as best as I can. If I fail one time and unnecessarily care, then I'll try for next time to do better.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, there are not many people's perception of me that I care about. What I say or do around a person depends on WHO the person is. I dislike conflict and being in arguments quite a lot, so depending on the person I'll act accordingly to avoid that conflict with him/her. This means that if I know that a person is easily irritated, I'll just be nice and calm. If the person is a loud-butt and doesn't want to listen to anything I say, then I'll just leave. The perceptions of me that these type of people have don't bother me at all. I don't care of them enough to trip myself over for them and "live up to their expectations." It's different when I'm with my friends. I've managed, in my high school years, to make GOOD friends and I'm not going to lie, I am happy about that. I've mentioned this in one of the previous blogs that when I'm around my friends I usually act silly and stupid to try to make them laugh and put them in better moods than they initially are. I am like this with them because I am comfortable to do so and they accept that from me. The perceptions of these people are the perceptions that I will take in consideration. I care what those guys think of me because they're my friends and I feel close to them. If I'm going overboard and start acting like a punk and one of my friends tells me that I'm being a butt, then I will listen and take that in. In that kind of situation I'd feel bad and stop what I'm doing. So, what I'm saying is that I care what the people I care about think of me, but I don't care what the people I don't care about think of me.
I'll bring up one of my friends as an example. His name is Sebastian and he is one of my closest friends. I don't label people as "best friend" but if I did, that would be him. Some people say that we're like brothers (*cough* *cough* Dina) and others say that we're like a gay couple, but I don't care. What I do care is about my friendship and I do care about how he feels and stuff and what he might think of me... and stuff. For example, sometimes he has told me that I am "smart" or I am "better than that" and I take those words and I think about them. That's his perception of me and I am glad he thinks like that, I will not lie, that makes me feel better about myself knowing that someone acknowledges me, but nevertheless I don't let his ideas of me just be nothing. His expectations of me are actually higher than the expectations for himself (I don't like that about him), so in general I try to not let him and that expectation of his down. I'll act so that I prove him right. There are other people who have expectations for me, such as my parents, that I care about and influence my actions. I know I'm not the only one like this. Everyone is like this. I'd assume that whoever a person cares about, their perceptions and expectations influence the person's actions for the reason that the person doesn't want to let them down and show that he is as good as they think he is. Does that make sense?
DeleteIn my opinion, both positive and negative feedback from an important person should be taken in and thought about. Other people's views and thoughts of you should give you another point of view of yourself so that you think about it and develop yourself as appropriately as possible.
It's really weird.... Almost every emotion in a human being just leads to LOVE. Everything we do is for LOVE. This "caring" leads to LOVE and I am an example of that. I suppose that's what distinguishes us from other animals... Such a deep thing to think about. It's so dumb... :-\
Saying "I don't care what everyone else thinks" has become commonplace. People use this saying when feeling insecure, or when they think they've been judged. I probably use this saying about once every two months. Deep down, most people don't actually believe this. For many, the "I don't care" attitude is a mask that people put on when feeling embarrassed or judged. These people actually do care about others opinions, but just don't want to show it at the time.
ReplyDeleteWhat others think of you has a huge impact on decision-making. For example, when someone's' "gassing" you while in a sport, you tend to try a lot harder. The fans thinking you're doing really well will make you play better and harder. I don't believe others opinions will have life altering decisions, because when it's all said and done, you have to make the decisions and be confident with those decisions.
We care so much about other people's opinions because most people aren't 100% confident with an essay they wrote or how they played last game. We need other people to give their input so that we will understand it from a different perspective and be able to improve. I feel that trying to improve is the main reason that we ask for someone else's opinion. This is why others' opinions are important.
Others' expectations are so important to us because we want to make other people proud as well as ourselves. We need to get that satisfaction of reaching a goal set by ourselves and others. We want that smiley face sticker on our foreheads just to remind us that we did a good job. Some people actually need it. I hope that one day, other peoples' opinions will not matter and we can base everything off of our own.
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DeleteThat is so true Tim! Whenever someone on the sideline is "gassing" you, you do feel a sense to try even harder to look even better than you probably already do. I also see where you are coming from when you wrote about people feeling so insecure that those are the people saying, "I don't care what everyone else thinks." Most of the time they are the ones saying it because they want to sound confident and not wimpy, and I agree with you on that. And yes, from time to time, a smiley face sticker on our foreheads is an acceptable self-esteem booster.
DeleteThis couldn't be any more true. When people use this expression it really is just a mask. And they say it only to sound confident when they really are not. And finally, I agree strongly with why we care about others opinions, and that's because its others inputs.
DeletePeer pressure, parental pressure, self-imposed pressure, all of these things are stressful, especially for a teenager in high school. Therefore, it is only natural that these forces come together and tweak your personality, the way you dress, or the way you act. Why is that you may ask? It is because that everyone has a desire to fit in or feel a sense of belonging.
ReplyDeleteI believe that this happens to everyone, one way or another. When you walk into school, most people wear the same brand of clothing or shoes, which is caused by peers and colleagues perception of what is “cool” to wear. That is the effect of having people’s thoughts corrupt you of who you actually are.
The saying, which a lot of people say nowadays, “I don’t care what anyone else thinks” means a lot. Deep down inside, everybody cares at least a little bit, and if you truly don’t think otherwise of other’s comments, well then, hats off to you. However, the smallest comment of how you dress, how smart you are, or what you like, can make a big difference in what you do in the future.
But the question to answer is: “Why do we care so much what other people think of us?” The reason, in my opinion, is the answer to last week’s blogpost: to feel a sense of belonging. No one, especially high school students, want to feel like the center of everybody’s laughs and giggles. That is why we are so focused on being the same way as everybody else, because not everybody is confident enough to break the status quo.
Also, when I wrote the word “we”, it also means “I”, meaning that whatever I wrote above, also pertains to my personal feelings.
Cait Beck, i know we discussed this after school and honestly our ideas are kinda if not completely the same. I agree with you one everything you said throughout this post. "To feel a sense of belonging" i think that should just be a blog answer in general, short and sweet haha. Honestly though that is the answer, that is the only reason why we care. Why else would we? because if we truly didn't care or who ever truly doesn't care, really doesn't care if they belong or really doesn't give a shit about feeling like they belong. If that is the case, which can't be! because its human nature to want to belong then, props to them. Honestly wish i could be like them.
DeleteI agree that it is the sense of belonging that manipulates how we act. We as humans do not want to be lonely so we find a group of friends to fit in with. If we didn't need to belong somewhere, we wouldn't care about how we act or how we dress. It's always people's thoughts that matter the most.
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ReplyDeleteHuman nature is the distinguishing characteristics that make humans people, that includes the way people think and act. Which usually come to humans naturally from the influence of culture. So I think its human nature to want to feel accepted and that’s why we care about what people think. We care about what we wear, we care about what we think, and we care about what we say. Everyone shapes himself or herself around this culture that is given to us. We shape ourselves around the group of friends that we hang out with. Popular kids do sports; they go to parties make themselves known. People want to know them for the soul reason that others know them. I am not trying to sit here and explain to all of you what popular kids are and what kids who don’t fall into the category of “popular” aren’t. My point here is that everyone shapes himself or herself to fit into the “group” that they fall into, even if they don’t notice it. You grow up thinking about what they wear and wear that yourself, you think about their beliefs and at some point start to believe that too. So going back to my point about popular kids, here is what it comes down too.
ReplyDeleteSomeone who grew up as a normal kid, they never really fit into any type of group or people, they had their close friends and they went about life not caring. They somehow end up at a party and all of the sudden become known, known by everyone & all of the sudden they feel “popular”. But feeling popular isn’t enough, you have to be popular, you have to fit in. So of course they changed their whole wardrobe, the way the thought, they way they talked. Throughout all this process however she thought to herself “I don’t care about what anyone thinks of me” not knowing that she clearly did. She shaped herself around a culture and a group that she was introduced to and to this day still makes decisions based on the way those others, her “friends” they “popular” kids do. I can tell you that this process is the way, the way “in” because it happened to me.
This however doesn’t just come with what group you fall into, it comes in everything you do and everything that happens throughout life.
TV tells us to loose weight and we do, models tell us to get taller and we do, magazines tell us to wear more makeup and we do. Why? We feel the need to fit in. We need to know that we are accepted and if were not. Then who are we? We are definitely not the world’s definition of pretty if we don’t look like Cara Delavigne.
We are not the TV’s definition of skinny if we don’t looks like Kendal Jenner. We are not the definition of sexy if we don’t look like Beyoncé. So what do we do WE GO AND CHANGE OURSELVES? We say we don’t care but, I know I run everyday so I don’t gain weight, I know I wear makeup so I don’t look like the grudge, I know I try and make my butt look bigger so I can look the least bit of “sexy”.
That’s why we care because we feel the need to fit in into every aspect of todays culture.
Andrea you are beautiful without having to run, without make up, and without trying to make your butt look sexy. You shouldnt care about others in highschool because it wont matter later in life, although I know you still care but I hope later in life you realize that you shouldnt have cared and it was silly of you to care.
DeleteTo me, I only care about what people matter to me think. I mean yeah it hurts a little if a person you have never met before gets some kind of bad vibe from you or judges you, but I don't let it affect me for more than 15 minutes. It's like having a force field that only certain people are in, so others just reflect right off. But when those who mean something to me I will care. I will spend countless hours with thoughts picking apart every flaw I have, wondering if people will look passed it.
ReplyDeleteFor others, this "I don't care" attitude is just a mask that they were so people don't see the truth. I feel as if that most people who say this and have this attitude, are the ones who are most affected and react the most emotional. Everyone's opinion I think doesn't really matter, and that is because everyone sees everything differently. That's why no one is perfect. This attitude can tell you what kind of person someone is. But then again it might be true because there is some who have dealt with enough and don’t even mind judgements.
I know for a fact that I’ve said this line so many times in my life. Is it true? Sometimes. And that being depending on who it is considering. Like I said before, if it was someone who mattered to me, I lied. If it was a person I could care less about it doesn’t affect me.
When it comes to perceptions people have of you or I, it can and probably will affect the decisions you or I make. And that is because most of us want to fit in, so we make our decisions accordingly. Scared of being judged or disliked, we make these decisions. And it sucks to say but most of us doing, including me. We care because it’s a viewpoint that isn’t ours or our parents. But what we don't realize is that everyone has a different viewpoint so what one can say isn’t necessarily what you should go by. Everyone has different viewpoints and opinions so what you may like about yourself, others may despise.
Enrique, your attitude towards life itself is positive. You choose to only be affected by people who matter, even though random strangers demeaning your shoes hurts a little. Even then its good that you don’t care because there is no reason to worry about another’s opinion when that person barely has a real impact in your everyday life. I think it’s safe to say most everyone has one opinion about perceptions after reading several blogs, they do affect a person because we are human and we continue to need to be accepted into society. So saying everyone has differing views that should affect another’s outlook is appreciated because everyone should feel free to share their own thoughts without the fear of accusation and humility.
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ReplyDeleteUndoubtedly, I have said in the past that I didn’t care about other people’s opinions. I was saying it because certain people made me upset and I wished they didn’t. I was trying to convince myself their perception of me didn’t matter in my life. I believe this is what mental health doctors call a “coping mechanism”. For all intents and purposes, it works, at least sometimes. There will always be people that you see often and won’t be friends with, whether it be at school or work. It would be miserable to let their thoughts dictate your life. Who cares what Great Aunt Judy thinks about you dying your hair, or how the physical trainer next door might judge your couch potato tendencies? In that case, it’s better to not let their insults stick in your mind and just let them roll off your back.
ReplyDeleteI know myself well enough to say I will care about certain people’s opinions of me all my life. My mom and brother, and to some extent my dad, will always influence my decisions. It’s more difficult to know whether or not my dad would approve of my life, but I try to keep him in my mind. But definitely my mom and brother affect everything I do. They are the two most important people in my life and I would never want to be a major disappointment to either of them. My brother especially keeps me in check. I want to be someone he can look up to and be there for him always.
Sometimes I might make iffy decisions due to the fact that “it’s my life and I don’t care about what the rest of the world has to say about it”. Of course, that isn’t true. Sure, I could go total transcendentalist and just live by myself in the woods forever. But, then where does my family fit in this life? There is no place for them in that life. I can’t go extreme and just give up on today’s society, and I can’t go the other way and protest and scream all day long. I could not take the two of them with me; it’s simply not who they are and want they want. I’ll have to be somewhere in the middle, a “professional iconoclast” of sorts. I don’t think there will ever come a time where I can honestly say “I don’t care what anybody thinks.” That’s a good thing. Without these two, I wouldn’t be me; and isn’t the whole point of not caring what the world has to say is being unapologetically me?
I can’t really count how many times I’ve said that but if I had to guess, about 1,459,038.385933 times. That's about it. I really always reflect to middle school so here it goes again. In middle school I cared too much and changed my actions based on other people’s judgement. I sweat still way too much but back then I was determined to find do something about it. I wore dark clothing and never raised my hand. So I did care what people thought. Now...yes but not as much. I do still care what people say about me about it doesn’t get to me as much.
ReplyDeletePeople’s opinions did reflect on how I acted. For example, if someone said that my outfit was ugly af, I would’ve look for a new way of dressing. Or if someone said I talk loudly I would’ve most likely just shut up the whole day. I still do that. My friends say some stuff that gets under my skin and I try not to be sensitive but that's me. Even my family still call me “white girl.” IDK if I am or not like I absolutely hate when someone makes fun of me when that’s just me.
We care because it’s our mentality. We all strive her perfection or acceptance and it doesn’t work. We shouldn’t care but if we don’t, are humans going to strive for anything? No, we are not. Of course judging someone is wrong but without it, no one would want to prove each other wrong. It matters on the person, if you're sensitive than you will be upset but if you're strong than you’ll just strive for better.
How is it possible for you to have a decimal number of how many times you've said something? Anyways, I agree that in middle school all we cared about was what other people thought of us. And also, I agree that back in middle school, if someone commented on something they didn't like about me, I would change it too.
DeleteI might of said "I" in one sentence and then "don't" in another. So it's not a whole number because I didn't say the full phrase at the time.
DeleteI also was wondering about the decimal point, but I understand how you came to that conclusion. In middle school or I think any year not high school, maybe freshman year, we all had no idea what we were doing. We had no individual thoughts or opinions just the mainstream choices we all made together. So I’m just going to let you know I think we’ve all grown up a bit and learned who we are as a person and someday hope to be. We just have a better sense of the world around us and it comes from experience and time. I hope you took have seen the change in the people around you. At least enough to realize never to change to fit another’s expectations because there will always be someone who like you for you.
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ReplyDeleteSince I was younger my parents always told me to be myself, to never let what others thought get in my way. Of course I always tried to follow what they stressed on me, but how? How is that even possible? Honestly, I don’t think it really is. Matter fact it’s not, I know its not. As human beings we all hope for the same, to fit in and not feel like the outcast. Our biggest fear is not belonging in this society or possibly being picked on because of what we choose to wear or how we act. We can pretend all we want but deep inside we all just want to belong. The phrase "I don't care what anyone else thinks” has came out of all our mouths several times. I can admit that is something I say the most. It’s not that I say it just because or purposely lie, but every time I say it I try and force myself more and more to actually not care of peoples perceptions of me. Almost all the time I end up doing exactly what I said I shouldn’t. Weather its positive or negative thoughts we take every one into deep consideration, it just happens that we take the negative ones more deeply or personal. Also, we happen to care more by what other people believe rather than what we truly believe in our self. It’s just all natural, that we feel other people’s expectations of who we are have an influence on us. In our society today, everyone happens to judge more, or have the need to worry or say something about another. We kind of build ourselves off them. Do what everyone is better, wear what everyone thinks is cooler, or act how the majority is acting. As much as we honestly don’t want to feel the need to care all the time, we just do. I wouldn’t say its impossible it is just extremely unlikely. My question is however which is better? Is it actually better not caring of others perceptions? Or are we better off caring? Would we have ended up turning out to be the same person if not? If we like who we are becoming as a person, would that have happened if we didn’t care and let society scope us in a way?
ReplyDeleteMs. Bunje is probabaly going to steal those questions for next week's blog. I'm going to try to answer some of them. Neither is better. Sure. Idk. Maybe. Probably not. We'll see. My answers are very short for a reason. I could go on and on about how society is fucked up but I'll say, no one knows. Nobody. Ms. Bunje don't, I don't and I know Donald Trump don't. The point is, it's pointless to ask these questions because society will continue to destroy itself and we be heartless Americans.
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ReplyDeleteWhat stops an unhappy woman or girl from leaving their significant other? What prevents someone who is miserable in their class from making the ol’ switcheroo? What dissuades you from choosing the sexy red dress over the stunning black dress with silver embellishments?
Ultimately, it all boils down to us looking for approval, and in some cases making sure we don’t receive the disapproval from others. The need for approval has been embedded in our genes since the day we were born. Approval from others gives us a sense of higher self- esteem, because we are convinced that their recognition matters to our self worth. We base how deeply we value ourselves on other people's opinions. So when people say “they don’t care what others think” , they are selling you some straight up bs. Call them on it! They are LYING!
I have a few friends who are like this. However, the one who is NOTORIOUS for this, is my little mini van (also known T-VAN). Sorry girly, I didn’t mean to call you out , but you probably “ won’t care” anyways, right? I am very close to Taylor so when she says things like this it doesn’t fool me. Yes I understand, some people are irrelevant as well as their suggestions, so of course you won’t care what they have to say, I mean who would? Instead, I am talking about those deep, heart-felt, rude, berating, insulting, and demeaning comments that come from someone you were close to at one point, or those you have had “beef” with. Taylor is one of those people who tries to deny all of their feelings, but when something upsets her it is very obvious, at least to me. She shouts out “ I don’t care” a million times, paces around in circles, flings her arms everywhere, and babbles on about how much she still does not care. It’s pretty funny. As you can tell from description, there is something definitely bothering her, and it makes her even more upset when she constantly repeats it. Ultimately, what I’m trying to say is that no matter how many times you say don’t care what people think, or how hard you try to push it off, it will always bother you.
Let me start off by saying, that I am nothing like Taylor. I do not hold in my emotions, it is very obvious when I am upset, and if I am mad about your comment please know that I will have something to say about it.
I used to bottle my emotions up inside of me. I used to give people the silent treatment and eventually take out my anger on everyone. However, now I’m like a walking ticking bomb. Every little thing ticks me off, and I think that is why my friends enjoy messing with me so much. Anyways, if the comment is coming from someone I know, or if it pertains to something I care about, I get offended easily. People joke around with me all the time. They talk about how I have big lips, a big forehead, big eyeballs, or shitty brown eyes. And even though they are “joking” I take it to heart. That is why I always think I’m ugly or why I am so insecure about my facial features. Another example would be when I come to school in a certain outfit, and people make side comments about it, so I never wear it again. On the other hand people always “gass” me up about how intelligent and well-spoken I am, or how bangin my body is. Yet, I try to block out the compliments because I don’t want to become too cocky. However, all of those compliments, could never amount to the one offensive comment. This is why I have confidence issues! I care TOO much about what people think. If anything, I probably criticize myself more than anyone else does, because when I come to think about it, I don’t think anyone has ever come up to me and said I was flat out U-G-L-Y. But don’t worry, I plan to work on my little confidence issue this year.
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ReplyDeleteI say that I don’t care about other people’s opinions all the time, like a fucking lot. I guess it's because I don’t want to or because sometimes I really couldn’t give two shits about people. I think that depends on the situation, day, weather, how I’m feeling, what I’m wearing, the color of the sky, etc.
ReplyDeleteOther people usually don’t determine the decisions I make, but at the same time they do in a way. I think that we are all very different, but also all the same. We all try to fit in a social norm to a certain point and enough that we all can mutually just point out people a little out of the ordinary. It is the fact that there even is an ordinary.
At a point in my life, I cared a shitload what people around me thought like what EVERYONE thought. I still do at some of points in my life, depending on the situation(of course). But when I was younger, it was pretty bad. I think it was because I was Asian, and I used to get teased for it all the time. I was the ugly nerdy asian girl who had asian friends and was really good at math and had the same bowl haircut that all the asian mothers cursed on their kids. I just read that and couldn’t stop laughing. Some of these stereotypes, I still fit in and if you can make a good joke about my driving skills or my math, I’ll laugh with you. I guess I’ll laugh if your intentions weren’t really to offend me. As if my race is offensive. Am I even on topic anymore? Possibly. I think maybe that is why I am the way I am because I tried really damn hard to make a name for myself that wasn’t “that asian girl”. I still try in a way, but I definitely embrace being Asian a hell of alot more. Damn I said asian a lot in this blog. Asian. Asian. Asian.
I think people’s opinions really always kind of matter in a way to a certain point (depending on the situation, of course). We all try, even a little, to fit in the group around us. Maybe we care because we don’t want to be pointed out. Relating it back to last week’s blog, I think we can help find ourselves and be more comfortable being ourselves once we have found a place or a group of people where you feel like you belong.
TVAN I LOVE YOU NO MATTER IF YOUR A SMART ASIAN OR ANYTHING ELSE. You have proved to everyone your not your not just a little nerd and you WILL NOT take anyone's shit. You truly are unique and I hope you know that, and you don't even have to try. Keep doin you crazy girl stay Asian!
DeleteYour blog is correct in every way. Not in you stereotyping yourself of course. It wasn’t your fault, you probably weren’t that kid, but if so don’t worry about it we had no clue what was happening. And we’ve all grown up into our true self at least for the next couple years until college changes everything again. Anyway I agree, every single thing in my life depends on the day, how I feel, and the color of the sky and what roses smell like that day at that time. I base my decisions as they come to me, in the moment not fretting about what’s to come when nothings happen yet. Whats the point right? As you also said there is an ordinary, I too believe there’s at least a standard people try to fit, just to be harmonious with society.
DeleteI've said "I don’t care what anyone else thinks" more times in the past couple of months than I have in my entire life. But do I actually believe that? Yes. I really truly don’t care what anyone else has to say about me or what their opinion of me is. I haven't always felt like that though, I had to force myself to not care. I've found that when I'm doing things that truly make me happy or the people around me happy then everyone else is literally irrelevant to me. For 15 years of my life I let other peoples opinions of me dictate what I do or how I do them and that just wasn't fair to me. Forcing myself to not care what other people thing was a very hard thing to do but I love myself so much more now that I've blocked out all of the losers that always have something to say about me.
ReplyDeleteSometimes when I go to do certain things or hang out with certain people I do worry, not about what people will say about me but what they might say about the people I associate myself with. I care about the people in my life a lot more than I care about myself so its one thing to say something about me but its another thing to say something about my friends. I have found myself not doing a lot of things I want to do lately though because I don’t want anyone to think lowly of my friends for being with me. I wouldn't care if someone were to call me a loser but if they called my best friend a loser "by association" then that would just kill me because I know a lot of my friends really do care so much about what other people think of them. But other than that anyone that has stuff to say about me can just go fuck themselves, I really love the person I am so trying to put me down is really just a waste of time. I've surrounded myself with such loving and accepting people that I'm now finding it hard to be "normal" because when I'm with them I literally just don't care. I also believe that being in drama has really helped me with not caring what people think. Going up on stage in a ridiculous costumes and pretending to pick my nose or go blind in front of my entire school has just made me not care at all on so many levels. I think that so many people let others opinions stop them from doing things because they're scared of not being "accepted" or not being let into certain "groups." Just like in last weeks blog so many people said that they feel the need to belong but imagine how much happier everyone would be if they just didn't care about others and just did what made them happy.
I agree completely. If someone said something about my friend, who's a good person, I would probably want to square up. I don't get why people just make fun of someone who is just all around a great person. I don't know if it's because their insecure or mean af. I upset if someone said something about me but nah, don't come at my friends. But keep picking your nose!!! Get the boogies out.
DeleteAw Jennie this was so good. It's good you don't care about what people think and I totally agree that you have no problem embarrassing yourself like because I have no problem with it either! ;) But like you, I wasn't always like that and it takes a lot to come out of your shell. I'm glad your happy!
DeleteThe thing that comes my mind when I read this post was when I was 7 years old and I refused to wear an outfit my mom picked out for me. It was bright orange and hideous. I guess that was the first time I started caring about how I looked. It was probably the first time that I started caring what others thought about how I looked. In general though I never really cared about what others thought about me. That is until I got into middle school. That was definitely a rough time for me. My confidence was at an all time low. I hated how I looked and around that time my anxiety developed so I always worried what people thought about it.
ReplyDeleteEveryone cares what others think about them, the difference is that some people care a lot and others don’t care that much. How much a person cares about other’s opinions is how much confidence that person has. It’s all a confidence issue. When we lack the confidence to accept and be who we are, other people’s opinions become very important. We let other’s opinions affect us because by listening to what others say, we change ourselves to be accepted by those people. We allow opinions to create who we become because we do not accept who we are now.
When I was in middle school, I was extremely awkward. I was a nerdy asian, with glasses and acne. I was shy around most people and I was never confident. It lead me to be self-conscious about everything I did. It took me until eighth grade that I began to build my confidence. If anyone remembers me from middle school, they can tell you how much I’ve changed. It was really slow but I did it. I guess my confidence is okay. I’m only human so of course I still care what other think about me. But there’s moments where I honestly could care less what you think.
Everyone somewhat cares what others think whether they are conscious of it or not. If none of us cared about what others thought of us then we would all show up to school with our hair and teeth unbrushed, and do other abnormal/unacceptable things. Although these examples are a preference of hygiene, overall if we didn't care what others think then we would not follow the standards that we do. We care about what others think because most of us are undeniably afraid of rejection. No one likes to feel like the odd one out so therefore, we all go with the ordinary flow of things. I have been battling the thoughts of others my whole life. I used to be very self-conscious and critical of myself. Everything I did was merely to fit in and blend in. I have come a long way since then but I still find myself caring too much about other’s opinions. I try to find independence and base my decisions off of my own personal beliefs but my final decisions are usually based on the approval of others. The first example that popped into my head while thinking about this blog was the fact that people delete their selfies off of Instagram when they don't get enough likes. It seems silly but, it shows a lot about how concerned we are about other’s views. At their second attempt to get a new collection of double-taps, the person captions their selfie “because the first one deleted” when in reality, Instagram does not delete pictures without your discretion, this person is actually just thirsty for the attention of their followers and for likes. If the person was actually posting the selfie for their own personal pleasure, they surely would've kept it uploaded but, since they didn’t, it proves that they are only posting for the acceptance of others. Our society is so judgmental and in result, we become consumed by the thoughts of others. Caring about what others think is almost inevitable but, I guess it is easier for some to deal with than others.
ReplyDeleteOmg I basically wrote this same thing but anyway, I totally agree and I find it so crazy when people say that their selfies deleted when its literally like a 9 step process to delete a pic but I'm just going to sip my tea. But its sad that people actually do that because they shouldn't post a pic just to get likes they should post it because they like it.
DeleteThis so true. I do agree that we need sometimes a society like ours to keep ourselves "acceptable" if that makes sense. When people do things for attention instead of oure happiness because of society is when I start to question things. Like IG selfies because I know none of my pictures delete but its cool:)
DeleteI say that I don't care about situations all the time. But if I'm talking about it I obviously care. I care about way too many things that I shouldn't care about and sometimes I find myself not caring about things I should care about. The people who say they don't care are usually the people who care the most. If you’re talking about it you care because if it didn't bother you, you would never be talking about it in the first place.
ReplyDeleteIf you didn't care what people thought of you, you would come to school without brushing your hair, in your pj’s, and you probably just wouldn't come to school at all. But instead, were all here, coming to school, dressing nice, and trying to look good for someone. So it's silly to act like you don't care when you do. Everytime I say I don’t care there is a 99% chance that I’m lying because I care about anything.
I come to school and attempt to do my hair, makeup, and match my clothes every morning just because I kind of care about how I look in school. I’m not going to come in without brushing my hair or in my pj’s because I care what people think of me. I’m always going to care no matter what.
I wish some parts of me were different because I care what people think of me and if I could change certain things I wouldn't be self conscious. I’m self conscious because over all I still care. If I didn’t care I wouldn’t be self conscious about how I look and I would be confident about everything but I’m not. I’m not as skinny as I should be, I’m not tall enough to be a model, I’m just not the definition of a perfect girl in society. I know this because I care. This is my 20th time saying this, I care, and that will never change.
I think I’ve always been conscious of what others thought of me since a young age. My family would always criticize me, telling me that I was too fat, too short, or that my eyes were too small and my nails were ugly, ridiculous things like that. Despite all of that, their words never really bothered until I reached 4th Grade. That year I transferred from a private school to Hess, so it was an entirely different environment. Nobody wore uniforms, and at that point my mom was still dressing me, so I wanted to start picking out my outfits myself. Needless to say, my outfits were super ugly because I had no idea what I was doing. Also during that year, I started getting pimples, got my first pair of glasses, and was on my to getting braces. I had all the characteristics that you could associate with awkwardness, and it was a rough time. It was then all the way to the end of middle school that I had super low self-esteem. All of the words that my family said would linger on my mind, and at some points I actually believed them. However, during that time I focused on the parts that I did like about myself and told myself that none of the criticisms meant anything. I told myself that I was pretty and good enough, anything to make me feel better about myself. Even though I didn’t believe in what I was saying at first, it eventually reached a point where I accepted myself. I knew I had my flaws, but I still liked myself, and that was all that mattered.
ReplyDeleteWe care about other people’s opinions because we want to be accepted. I think I was always looking for my family’s acceptance when I was younger, and it was hard because they never expressed it even though I now know they did, but I never saw it and decided to accept myself. However that took years for me to do, so I still get bothered when people judge me. If they say they don’t like something about me or something that I did, I get thrown off and their words just linger in my head. I can’t stop thinking about it for a while, and sometimes even the whole day. However, when that happens, I try to stop worrying about others and just focus about what I think and how I feel. I’m easily influenced by other people’s opinions, so I have to really try to focus on myself. People will always judge you based on one thing or another, and you just have to block them out and do whatever you want to do.
It amazes me that everyone swears they live by the infamous quote, “Do what makes you happy.” I know people do what makes them happy on the daily like cheating their diet or choosing not to do their homework one day because they don’t feel like it. But the pressure comes in when you actions become reflections of who you are. Society of course is the major reason everyone is pushed harder into one direction that usually isn't what the individual needs or wants. We care because our actions make us who we are. It’s socially unacceptable to wear crop tops every single day without people thinking you're a slut. We have every right to care what people think but you can’t let it shape you. Sometimes I think peer pressure and parental pressure comes in handy. When you’re blinded by a boy or drama they see the bigger picture and are able to guide you to the right choice since they have no feeling inside them. Expectations for myself were set by my parents way back before I can remember. I'm glad that I have them because I keep myself in check. No matter what I always remember my goals and I don’t do anything to dwindle them. Society has negative and positive outlooks. I live by the quote, “Show respect to even those who don’t deserve it, not as a reflection of their character but a reflection of yours.” Sometimes it's hard to keep that in mind but whenever I want to curse someone out I remember how important it is to make the right decision and not react a certain way. Maybe thats society or maybe it's just me, I’m not exactly sure. Happiness is made out of what you are given. We can’t change the way people are so if you learn to live with it, it gets better, but people can’t take over your life. You have to be selfish sometimes to better yourself. I know if society didn’t have expectations for me I would be so weird but then I see how it affects people's happiness. If someone can’t say or do something that makes them happy than that's where all society proves to be the horrible thing it is. Saying we don’t care about what people think is a lie. Even posting a picture we second guess ourselves for a caption.
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ReplyDeleteEvery day, we go to school thinking about the way how we are supposed to fit in with everyone else. The thing on our mind is always how people view of us. We are scared to stand out from everyone else. We care because we do not want to stand out in a crowd of people and be made fun of. Peer pressure is a huge thing in my life because I feel like I have to dress like my friends, act like my friends, and talk like my friends because I do not want to be an outlier in the group. We as humans, do not want to feel lonely, we wanted to be cared for and loved. I feel like our own feelings should matter the most and how we perceive ourselves should be the most important but obviously, that is not truth.
ReplyDeleteSo why do other people’s perceptions have such a huge impact? Simply because we want to be accepted into society. We want to feel like we belong somewhere. We neglect our own feelings so that we can belong in a group of friends. Just yesterday when we were presenting our declamations, I was really stressed because I thought I would make a fool of myself if I forgot the words. Being scared of things like this is what makes a huge impact. Those people who say that people’s perception don’t matter, are lying because I’ve known so many people who change who change themselves physically and mentally to fit in. Sometimes my parents ask, “Why aren’t you smart like your cousins,” and this would really upset me because I think that everyone in my family would think that I’m dumb. No matter where we go in life, we will continue to worry about stupid things such as how others perceive of us.
It's all about society. People look down on others who aren't socially caught up. I remember a few years ago when I was going out with my brother. I was about to put on an Aeropostale jacket and he said that if I wore it he would act like he didn't know me. He wasn't trying to be mean. He was just telling me that Aeropostale wasn't cool anymore and nobody wore it.
ReplyDeleteSociety wants us to all be the exact same. If we're not or at least trying to be, we are socially shunned. Some of us care because we don't want to be bullied. Others care because they are trying to be a trendsetter. The rest of us care because our friends care. The clothes we wear and the way we look and the way we speak are constantly judged. We must shop at American Eagle and Hollister and Victoria's Secret and Abercrombie & Fitch. Guys need to have abs. Girls need to be skinny. If we don't do these things, the world looks down on us and we look down on each other. Long story short, we care because everyone else cares. Everyone else cares because we care. It's a cycle. We look up to the trendsetters, celebrities, and popular people for them to determine whether something is accepted or not. We look up to them because everyone else looks up to them. Everyone else looks up to them because we do. We determine our lives on perception because everyone else does and vice versa.
It is very common that people say that they don’t care about what other people think. But this is normally done in the heat of the moment, and it is not always fully meant.
ReplyDeletePeople care about what other people think for many different reasons. Maybe like last week's blog, they are trying to find where they belong. If other people like them than they could belong with them. Other times people could be trying to impress someone they like or a teacher...or both, who knows. If you’re trying to impress someone, you can bet that you care what they think, because if they don’t like you, you may never even stand a chance. This is important because it represents how you look. My parents always say that I represent them. I couldn't really think of the exact words, but if I do something stupid, it could make them look stupid. No one wants to look stupid so you try to make yourself look good to other people so they never think you are stupid.
Other people’s perceptions of you influences many things. It influences how you may act. If you’re in a class and everyone in the class thinks that you dress funny, you might not be very outgoing in that class. If this is the scenario, you don’t want to draw attention to yourself. On the other hand, if everyone loves you in one of your classes, you will certainly be more outgoing in that class than in one where people think you dress funny. People’s opinions of you also influences the jobs you may get. If you are a mean and loud person, you might not want to apply to work at Chuck E Cheese. If you are being interviewed for a job, unless you don’t want to be accepted which would defeat the point of applying, you definitely care what the interviewer thinks. He or she is probably the key to you getting accepted or not.
Every time I find myself saying “I don’t care what anybody thinks of me!” it’s usually because someone has just hurt me, and I’m trying to convince myself that it doesn’t matter. I’m naturally a pretty sensitive person, and I always have been. I don’t mind it though, because to me it just means that I care a lot. Caring a lot about people and life and all the little stuff in between isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But the question isn’t “Do you care?” it’s “Why do you care?”
ReplyDeleteThe most logical explanation I can come up with, is that as human beings, most of us yearn to be accepted. We don’t want to feel like outcasts. If someone wears the wrong clothes, or likes the wrong kind of music, or has a different sense of humor, all of a sudden they’re different and not a part of the whole. We search for approval from the people around us, as a checkpoint to make sure that what we’re doing is deemed acceptable.
Last year, or maybe even last month, I let other people dictate how I felt about myself. If someone said something nasty about the way I looked, I would not be able to stop thinking about it. Every time I looked in the mirror, I would be reminded that so-and-so thinks I’m ugly. I found that I wanted people to like me so badly, that around certain people I would get anxious and rattled and then I would end up saying the wrong thing and it all would go downhill from there. I wanted people to have a good opinion of me, I guess as validation that I was a good person.
But who I was last year, or last month, isn’t who I am now. I’ve found that by caring so much about the in between things, I’ve been able to block out others’ opinions. Every time I hear something bad about myself, which fortunately is not too often, I find myself caring less and less. Surrounding myself with good people has also helped. Obviously, there are times when the perceptions people have about me hurt. But if I could just lessen the amount that people’s opinions affect me, and stay caring about everything else, that would be ideal. I’m making a very conscious effort. Fingers crossed that by the time I’m burnt out at 35, I’ll be completely 100% blind to what others say about me.
Hey Luc, I'm sorry that people have said such ignorant things to you, and I'd tell you to ignore those comments and move on, but we're similar in many ways. I do the same thing by keeping those negative thoughts at the back of my mind and never fully forgetting about them. Hopefully we can work on not caring about what others think together because we both need to work on it :)
DeleteI laughed when I read the last line. I don't think that will be possible because we will be forever be thinking about people's opinions. I am really sensitive to comments too. I want people to have a good perception of me. The only thing that is different for me is that when I hear bad things about me, I care more about opinions.
DeleteI don't think being a sensitive person is worse than being non-sensitive. It makes you aware of your surroundings and lets you know how your body and mind feels about the current situation. We all go through the time period when we find it difficult to not care about our actions. It is just an instinct everyone has. It is good to have people's influences on you but not to the extent that would make them your life-controller.
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ReplyDeleteIf you were to ask me this question four or five years ago I would say that other people’s opinions of me were the most important aspect of my life. There were times where I would argue with my dad because he wanted me to wear sweatpants during December lacrosse practices. In freezing temperatures I would refuse to dress in appropriate clothing because it wasn’t Nike or just because it didn’t look cool. I would rather lose my left knee to frost bite than possibly look dumb. I was constantly worried about everyone’s perception of me mostly on the outside because most people don’t look much deeper into a person than their looks. Growing up though I realized I only cared about the opinions of people who knew me and the opinion of a stranger is meaningless.
I think I only cared about what my peers thought of my outfits and how I acted because that’s what everyone else did too. You always hear everyone judging each other so there is no way in hell they aren’t judging you too. It is a natural feeling to care what others think about you whether their opinions have any truth within them. We don’t choose to care we just do. Since we were babies we were told to do everything the same and we haven’t stepped out of those boundaries or really challenged the status quo. We watched our mothers, fathers, and siblings all follow down the same road everyone else did so we all do the same.
I wouldn’t say I was influenced by others opinions but more bothered by them. I’ve always been freaked out by people having a false perception of me. Especially when I started dating girls. Everyone would ask my friends or talk to other people around me but no one said a word to me. I hated hearing, “I heard you were gay since freshman year,” when I know I didn’t tell them myself. I never liked this it always killed me that I had a reputation I didn’t have a clue about.
This all goes back to wanting to be understood. Absolutely no one can stand to be misinterpreted. When someone has an inaccurate perception of you it’s the same as being misunderstood. And when you are being misunderstood you change the way you go about doing things. This is where the influence comes in. People change how they act or what they wear or how they speak to be understood.
You were gay since freshman year? WOW thanks for telling me... LOL jk. But I totally agree with this, Ken. A couple years ago I cared so much about what other people thought of me. Now not so much so yeah this was a good post great job A+
DeleteIt's so strange how our generation is still expected to follow the same exact footsteps of our parents and grandparents. At this point, the sky is the limit. Technology makes it so easy to connect and communicate and learn. It's very reasonable to say that it's not necessary to go to college. We learn it all here on the internet.
DeleteThat's what I wish I could say to the people who ask, "What's gonna be your major? Where are you going to college?" But the world doesn't like change. Our generation is just going to have to keep on pushing.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that don't even bother with the world's so-called norms and expectations. The world needs to catch up, you're the one running the show, a show called Kennedy's Life.
Time after time after time, I've said those infamous words, but it's true. Who gives a shit about what other people think? Kanye West once said, "I don't care what people think because people don't think." And people don't think; they let other people think for them, no matter how bullshit their thoughts are, and then form their thoughts off of that. Now, I don't always believe that little voice in my head and what people say really hits me hard. It doesn't happen often; I go into everyday thinking, "Nothing anybody has to say to you is worse than anything you can say to yourself." And it's true, but sometimes the "why didn't you save those goals" or the "what the fuck was that" that I get constantly make me second guess myself.
ReplyDeletePeople only have an impact on what I do unless I ask for their opinions. I do not wish to hear your unwanted opinion or receive your unwanted attention because of how much I do not want it. Peer pressure might work on other people but it doesn't really work on me. I don't do anything I don't want to and the chances are that if you try and pressure me into something, I'll roll my eyes, get annoyed and forget about your existence. I do have a lot of self imposed pressure though. I'm very hard on myself in every aspect of life. Make friends, get good grades, get a job, go to college, get your save percentage higher. It keeps me busy and my mind on track.
There's never going to be a day that someone will say something that doesn't get to me, but only for a minute. People care what other people think because people don't think for themselves. We've been trained to allow our parents and friends think for us and turn us all into drones. That's why cliques of people all have the same thoughts. Sometimes we care about what people say because of their social hierarchy. That's never mattered to me though. I think I care about what people think because sometimes (this will sound bad) so I can throw myself a pity party. Being sad about what someone else says is, for some reason, much more reasonable than being sad over something you've said to yourself.
ReplyDelete“I don’t care what anyone else thinks” is a statement I use almost every day. I sometimes can be awkward around people because they don’t get who I am, so when I break out singing or talk to myself about what I should bake next they stare at me like I’m weird. I mean I am but that’s just who I am. I tell myself all the time that I don’t care about a situation but deep down I truly do care. It means so much to me of what other people think about a situation than what I think and it’s a bad thing. If someone tells me an outfit is ugly and I love it, I won’t wear it. I have learned on some situations not to care about other people’s opinions and care about what makes me happy and comfortable. It’s crazy how we care so much of other people’s perceptions when making decisions. We care so much because we are either insecure about ourselves or want to fit in. We all try to achieve perfection but we know we are never going to get there because there is no such thing. Its nature and I’m pretty sure everyone cares or has cared about what other people think. When your parents tell you to be yourself you listen at first but when society gets worse and worse it’s even harder to be yourself. Everyone have something to say so we worry about being like everyone else. This has an influence on me because it taught me no matter what I change or try to change, I will still care about what people think and if I’m still caring why not just be myself.
I catch myself claiming to not care what people think of me, but I know in the back of my mind that I do change my behavior, my tone of voice, and what words I use around certain people. I have heard adults, parents, and superiors of all kinds use an accusatory tone against teenagers and blame them for caring too much about how they are perceived by others. Maybe these people didn’t mean to have negative intentions, but it is upsetting that I am almost used to the fact that teenagers are the ones who are always worried about how they look and act. Because of this, I have made a habit of saying to my parents, very often actually, “not that I care, really”.
ReplyDeleteVaguely speaking, everyone has to care about how they are thought of. I have lied to myself for almost a year in middle school to convince myself that I am a positive person and everyone else’s opinions don’t matter. This mindset has helped me be independent in a way, but somewhere in my mind, a filter was being activated. It was telling me to change the way I was introducing a sensitive topic, to remember that my audience affects my diction, and to allow my nerves to affect my actions. When speaking to a teacher that I know is a respected person, I will not “dumb-down” my language. If I do, that teacher will think of me as stupid. Instead, I use a calm, reassured tone and I make sure to slip a few big words in there. Because I would care about what that specific teacher’s impression of me would be, I would change.
Sometimes a person’s behavior can change subconsciously. A relatable topic is how one acts around their crush. Whether it is losing their train of thought, stuttering uncontrollably, or talking much too fast, those stomach-jitters are caused by something. Because someone cares about how their crush identifies them, they change. We’ve all had our share of crushes and I too am guilty of changing myself because of the darn things!
Humans are a social kind of animal. Excluding the occasional transcendentalist, we all interact with other humans on a daily basis. I can guarantee that even the purest of “pure-souled” people have different sides to them. It is important to adapt to all surroundings, including people.
High School is filled with peer pressure and the need to fit in yet there’s people who claim they do not care what others think of them as long as they are happy with the life they are leading. Thus dressing how they feel, acting independently and living carefree. But is it really independent? There must be one other person trying not to reflect what others see and therefore dress similarly to the perception of what “not caring” looks like. Our lives continue to hold contradictory statements that even when said out loud, the little voice in the back of your mind says isn’t true. We try to push them down and soon we are casually lying to ourselves. So why is it important what other people think? The answer is quite simple. We are human. We fear, we think, we act how humans are “supposed” to behave in society. In the end its society that is screwed up…if I learned anything from Clark it’s that society has no order and is corrupted by none other than humans, the animals who make up the parts.
ReplyDeleteFrom a physiological standpoint, most of what we see is from experience and past connotations. Nothing is really new unless it’s new. Situations and circumstances, most of which we’ve seen at some point in movie, best friend or parents. WE take from what we’ve learned in the past and apply it every day in life. That’s how we know when it rains, it’s appropriate to wear rain boots. What we see is combined with previously stored information about the world, which we have built up as a result of experience.
In addition humans respond to what is common and in right now, usually among the young but especially teenagers. Fitting in becomes a job. We quickly can figure out other’s perception of oneself and either change to meet the expectations and standards or move onto a new friend. 9/10 we change ourselves for other’s liking. Many times I follow another opinion rather than my own, because I’m so wrapped up in the idea of 100 similar things against just me. And the problem is I will always worry if my dress has a stain or I’m wearing the right shoes with my outfit. I would like to say the things I wear aren’t influenced and I choose what I think looks good, but it’s easy to say that when subconsciously there’s will always another reason why I wear what I do, one I don’t even realize. I can’t stop fretting over unnecessary things, I can say I can but reality is there will always be that little voice that will contradict every goal I have. So my best bet is not let others perception change my beliefs inside even if I agree to something else in public.
I’ve always cared about what others thought of me, a little more than I’d like to admit. It kind of became an obsession, due to the judgmental culture at my old school. I would put a lot of thought into how I dressed, how I did my hair, always wondering if my makeup looked okay. I lived in constant fear of other people’s judgements, and for this reason, I put a lot of effort into my appearance. I thought that if I looked like everyone else, it would be harder for others to judge me when they didn’t know me personally. It’s exhausting to constantly be checking in the mirror, obsessing over that one pimple you’re sure everyone has noticed, picking out every insecurity you have and hating yourself for each one. That’s why I was sort of relieved when I found out I’d be going to a different high school. I told myself that I wasn’t going to care what others thought of me, that I would dress and look and act however I wanted to because I simply wouldn’t give a shit.
ReplyDeleteI had prepared myself for the worst-case scenario going into this year, concluding that I would be completely friend-less for the rest of high school. I tried to combat this fear I had of not being accepted by telling myself that it was okay if I had no friends, because it’s just a school and only my education mattered. Who cared if I was a complete social outcast? Not me, I told myself. However, this state of mind is a lot easier said than achieved. It’s extremely hard to eat lunch alone in a bathroom stall and tell yourself that you don’t care. Or to go through a whole school day without talking to a single person and still feel perfectly content. Despite all of my best efforts, I questioned my appearance, my personality, and how others saw me. I became mad at myself for caring so much about what others thought, when I had already mentally prepared for this very situation. I didn’t understand why I was being so emotionally influenced by my lack of friends.
Fortunately, I no longer eat granola bars in bathroom stalls during lunch, and I actually have friends. However, I came to the conclusion that I care so much about what others think of me because I don’t know who I am yet as a person. I let others decide for me, because, according to my logic, other people’s judgements must have some merit in order for them to even think them up in the first place. I know this is a bad reason, and that I should define who I am, but it’s hard to ignore negative comments and not let them influence the way I see myself. I’m a sensitive person, and it really bothers me when people say or think negative things about me, because, 99% of the time, I’ll believe them. This isn’t one of my best qualities as a person and I know I need to work on it for the future. I can’t let other people influence my thoughts and actions so much because it’s my life, and I plan on being happy for the majority of it.
Rachel, when I read your second paragraph I was all "ME ME ME ME" because I originally wrote almost exactly that, but then I deleted it because I couldn't find a way to express it coherently. Anyway, I'm really glad you don't eat alone in the bathroom stall anymore. I don't eat alone in Truax's room anymore either! Sometimes Karla eats there with me! Progress for both of us!!!!! And if others opinions really do affect you, just know that my opinion of you is extremely high. I am very very glad that people like you exist. But you're right, YOU should define who you are.
DeleteI'm really glad that you found someone to eat with! Also, I'm glad you found the right group of people to be with because I've been going to school with these people for my entire life. Unfortunately, I've met some new kids who were so friendly and they fell into the wrong crowd and ended up getting involved in some pretty terrible things. In my opinion, you landed in the perfect crowd.
DeleteEveryone cares about what others think of them. Even me, the loud mouthed brat in the back corner of the room. I care what people think to an extent. If I don't know you personally or don't like you your opinion is irrelevant to me. It's the peoples opinions who I'm close with that I truly care about. I used to care about the opinions of my family members but as I grew up I learned they're all either alcoholics, emotionally abusive idiots, hobbits, or judgmental jerks...or all four. So I quickly learned to discard their inputs as to what I'm wearing, who my friends are, or my "slutty" Instagram pictures. Yeah Sam Rocaps slutty Instagram pictures. To quote Bryan, " I can only offer a HA." I think we as human beings care so much about other people's perception of us because we're all just dying to be accepted. Even if it's only one persons opinion that matters, all we want is our existence to be important enough for someone to talk about (in a good way). We all just want to be THAT person who everyone smiles around, the person who can light up a room as soon as they walk in. We do this by making our outward appearance desirable and making our inward self reflect our peers. We just feel the need to be accepted and we want people to not only know us but want to know us. So we copy cat, we wear the same cloths go to the same parties do the same sports and have the same friends. We are all disturbingly alike because we feel that if we're different that it will lead to loneliness that nobody will want to be our friend if we aren't a sports star or if we don't smoke. But, every once in a while you'll find that person who still does what they want and everyone likes them for it, everyone respects them for it. These are the people we copy because ultimately we just want to be strong and liked they way they are. We just want to be accepted. Sometimes we are just too scared of what people will think of our true selves to give people a chance to accept us for who we are.
ReplyDeleteSam I really think you need to stop with your inappropriate gram posts its getting out of hand. Pics of you and your horse are totally slutty. sike I really think your fam might need an eye doctor appointment asap. But anyways, its good that you only care about the opinions of the people who matter to you because who cares about everyone else anyway??
DeleteI lost track of the amount of times I said “ don't care about what anyone else thinks”. I’ve said it to myself and others because I was trying to be positive. Ever since I was bullied in early middle school, I’ve always cared about other people's perception of me. I felt that it was necessary to “fix” myself in order to fit into society standards. I hated the feeling out of place, so I just let their cruel words take over my self esteem.
ReplyDeleteCurrently, I have a wider view on how society sees things because I have been a victim in their crime. I’m aware of what people want to see in others. I still find myself stressing over other people's perception, but I now realize that only mine matters. There will always be people who judge or disagree with you. You can’t please everyone. Everyone has different views and that’s okay. Only yours matter. The only one controlling your life is YOU.
My loved one’s opinion matters to me also. I look to their opinion when I’m not able to help my self in a situation. If I gave off a bad representation of myself in public without knowing, I would want to hear their thoughts to be able to adjust them. In fact, anyone’s thoughts that will be beneficial.
Perception had a huge impact on my life. It broke me down then helped me build myself back up to become wiser and more independent. So, I have to say, I’m thankful for that.
No. That was honestly my first thought while reading this question. No, I don't believe that it is possible for someone to 100% truthfully say that they don't care what anyone else thinks. It's part of human nature. We all care about what other people think of us. Some more than others, but we all do to some degree. Sometimes we don't even know that we do.
ReplyDeleteThis is a HUGE thing for girls. Girls will say that they don't care what other people think about them as a defensive wall. If you tell people that you don't care, it cancels out the possibility of being hurt... so we think. Putting up that wall is much easier than dealing with what's on the other side of it. Unfortunately, if we don't deal with our problems at the core, they won't just go away. It doesn't happen.
I believe that other people's perception of me has a huge impact on the decisions I make. I would like to say that it doesn't, but that just isn't realistic. Simply getting dressed in the morning is deciding if I should wear what I want or will people think I'm weird for wearing it. Even though it may not be healthy, it's normal to base your decisions on other people's opinions.
We care because we don't want to be put down or alienated. It's human nature to feel the need to fit in (last week's blog post) and our way of trying to fit in is to conform to what we want people to see us as. It's not being "fake". It's just the way our minds work and the way we deal with denial. Yes, we care what people think. We can't help it.
Everyone cares about their image. For some reason, other people's opinion of us is really important. Heck, I even care. We have this constant need to feel accepted. We need to be in the “in crowd”, not out of it. We need to keep up with the status quo. Its part of human nature. Its also part of human nature to suppress this feeling to the back of our minds and act like we don’t care, that no one’s perception matters. Its not a flaw, but its definitely an insecurity that everyone has. Some just show it more than others. I think it comes with a confidence thing. We like to think no one’s opinions matter, and when we do, it makes us feel invincible. But in reality, deep down somewhere, it bothers us.
ReplyDeleteHow other people perceive me only bothers me to certain extent. I don’t know why; it just doesn’t have that great of an affect on me. I feel a lot of it has to do with your mindset. I’ve been telling myself for years that “I don’t care”, and I guess, somewhere down the line, it stuck in my head. So now a part of me doesn’t care. The other part, obviously, does care, and I don’t think that part will ever go away. Its sort of a nice balance between the two. Sometimes, it sucks because that one part can have such a powerful affect on me, and I hate it. Its not me. But like I said, its all about your mindset.
No I do not care what people think, sure you can tell me I’m full of bullshit but unless you’re Kennedy, Juwan, my mom or dad, I DO NOT CARE FOR YOU’RE OPINION ON ME. The people I listed already accept me for the way I am and they’ll still accept me no matter how much I change. I could shave my hairline back to the middle of my head and only wear crocs everyday and clothes that are 6 sizes too big all the time and they would all still love me for me. Everyone else would be like wtf… but do I care? No. I am all about happiness. If something makes you happy, why care? If it makes me happy, that's what I am going to do. So frankly I don’t really care what you think. Don’t like what I’m wearing? Cool, good thing you aren't the one wearing it. Sure, occasionally if i'm iffy about an outfit I will be like “Hey Ken does this look ok?” or I will send selfies to Juwan or Ken and be like “which filter should I put” but I never end up listening to them anyway. I think most people care what other's think because they want to be accepted. Relating to the last blog, people want to be accepted, so they’ll do certain things because of what people think is “cool”. Also a lot of times mostly girls will care wayyyy to much about what a guy or girl thinks of them. Last year I had a boy tell me not to wear my vans that were dirty around him, and not to burp because it makes me “ugly and manly” I said fuck you and just didn't talk to him again lol. I remember going out with my friend and a boy she liked, and she would not eat a thing. I was like “are you not hungry?” and she was like “No I am, I just don’t want to eat in front of him he’ll think I am a pig or something”. Meanwhile I'm shoving 4 tons of mini corn dogs in my mouth. It boggled my mind. Why would you starve yourself because you don’t want a boy to see you eat?? You are a human?? You need food to survive?? If yall get married you just never gonna eat?? Gonna go hide in your room and eat?? LIKE WHAT. If I could go back to when I was in middle school I would slap myself in the face and then RKO myself off a desk. I literally cared soooo much about people's opinions. I HAD to wear name brand stuff. I HAD to have my hair a certain way. I burnt the shit out of my hair and killed it because straightening hair was the thing and I had curly hair. I bought a straightener and tried to straighten it everyday. And then it never stayed straight!! Then like freshman year I learned how to straighten my hair and still straightened it alot and made it die and ended up having to cut it anyway. These people we go to school with I'll probably never see again cuz I'm going to move far away with my hubby. So why the F would I care what they think. I think that all the time when I see a stranger in the store when I am with Kennedy and they catch me dancing around or doing something stupid, like who cares if they see I will prob never see them again. You can tell me you don’t believe me but I don’t care *laughing face emoji* I believe me and that's good enough.
ReplyDeletethis may be the best blog Post I've ever seen , granted I don't read everybody's probably not even half but that's not the point, you put so much emotion into it and were speaking straight factuals and I actuall saw this by scrolling up on my phone so i started reading it before I saw who posted it and I knew exactly who it was and you really give no fs
DeleteI could not have said it better myself Em. I don't get why people are embarrassed by eating in front of others. We all eat, and we all definitely pig out sometimes. If the person they're trying to impress gets grossed out seeing them eat, then it's perfect. Now it's established that the person is a jerk and that jerk can just stay away. One less thing to worry about.
DeleteCaring and worrying about what people think is in our human nature. We think that way until we change our perspective on people and ourselves. I think once you learn to accept yourself is when you realize you don’t need to worry about what others think. My entire life I cared what people thought about me. Everything I did I thought I was being judged by others and I constantly looked for self approval from others. I always cared about my outfits and if other people would like them or if I would get made fun of for wearing something that I actually really liked. If I thought other people wouldn’t like it, I wouldn’t wear that outfit because of the fear of what people thought of me. But you don’t get self approval by others, you get it from yourself. You are the one who should accept yourself for who you are and not care what others think of you. I believe the end of my sophomore year and now continuing to this year I stopped caring what other people thought of me. I accepted myself and didn’t care if I was talked about and how other perceived me. I think we care what others think honestly because us kids, we just want to be liked. We want everyone to like us and be approved. When a person does not like you or they judge you, or they say something about your outfit, it doesn’t make you happy. It wouldn’t make anyone happy and I think because we don’t want to feel rejected or face someone else’s opinion we try to avoid situations where we would be judged by others. Because of that fear of what people think, it effects our actions. To most teenagers what other’s think of us is honestly everything to us even if no one wants to admit it. It’s hard to change the way you think but if you learn to accept yourself you won’t care what anyone else thinks.
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ReplyDeleteI think we care about what other people think because well we need other people to survive essentially. Without other people we would come down with some other problem such as depression or social anxiety. Which also comes down to the characteristic bred into us which is the need of love and attention, without it a person wouldn’t be a person, they would be some emotionless robot or alien. That’s what it comes down to in all honestly. Even the most heartless people somewhere deep inside want and need that attention or acceptance. There is no other way to explain it. I know it from myself sometimes I can be bitter or act like nothing bothers me but in the end it always does matter to me; actually what makes people bitter is that they don’t get that affection because they really want it.
ReplyDeleteFor as long as I can remember, my aunt used to always sit me down and say, “what people say about me is none of my business.” Growing up I used to be so confused on her constantly telling me that and confused on what it meant in general. After experiencing more and putting two and two together I finally figured out the point she was trying to get across. My aunt never really exactly cared about what people said about her, maybe it was all an act or maybe she genuinely didn’t care but she definitely was extremely happy living that way.
ReplyDeleteI cant even count on my hands and toes how many times I tell myself or people around me that “I don’t care what anyone thinks”. Sometimes I actually believe it but other times I change my outfit because I am scared what “she” is going to have to say about it. I just don’t like being talked about, I don’t like being center of attention or conversation. “What sally says about Susie says more about sally then it doesn’t about Susie.” That is by far my favorite quote and struck me in a different way which is why I try my hardest not to “shit talk” or talk badly about others, besides the fact when I am mad and venting. I don’t care when someone I don’t know calls me a “slut” or “ugly” or a “bitch” or talk about a situation they think they know about me, but I do care when someone important to me thinks badly of me, if that makes any sense. When I say I don’t care what people say about me that isn’t true, im telling the truth, I bluntly don’t care but that still doesn’t mean it doesn’t get under my skin. It upsets me when someone thinks badly of me especially if I know I am the complete opposite of what they think I am. But then again, its what they think not what they know. I truly believe some people care so much and find it so important what other people think of them because they soon believe what the person is saying and let is consume them. Most teenagers learn the hard way though, to not care about what people think say or do.
To a major extent do people’s perceptions have an impact on the decision I make but it depends on who the person is. If my family or Bunje or an adult I care about would think differently of me if I made a certain decision, I would hope I could be smart enough not to make that decision. Most of the time though I do whatever I feel is right, no matter what the condition is.
ReplyDeleteNo matter how much people deny that they don't care what people think about them, they are probably lying. This is probably one of the biggest things I need to stop worrying about but the time that we live in makes it so hard to not give a crap of what people think about you. For example, Muraad wouldn’t come to school wearing skechers because people would be clowning him all day saying, “WHAT ARE THOSE”. Even though this example was small it was still showing how other people can affect your decisions in life. What if somebody actually likes sketchers but doesn’t wear them because they don’t want to be embarrassed. I feel as though teenagers just feel so pressured to fit in and to impress those around them that they forget that they should determine their happiness and not let other people tell them when they can and cannot be happy.
Whether I like it or not, other people’s perception of me does impact some of the decisions I make. We live in a society where everybody wants to please other people and don’t want to be different because of the fear of humiliation. As for myself I try not to let other people’s opinion about me shape my actions and decisions because it’s my life and I know that you shouldn’t live your life trying to please other people. You should do what makes you happy no matter what. No one knows you better than yourself so do what you do best.
To be completely honest i think the people who let other people's perceptions of them affect them so much is because they are insecure themselves and need someone else’s input to assure that they are wanted and liked. It’s important for them to feel accepted by someone else because they don't love themselves first. Someone who is completely confident with themselves wouldn’t care what people think about them because they already know for themselves that they are fine the way they are. And if you're confident you definitely wouldn’t let people affect your decisions because it's not the “hip” thing to do. Overall, I think society shouldn’t make it so hard for people not to care about what other people think, and I think that we have a long way to go.
I agree with your first sentence, “No matter how much people deny that they don't care what people think about them, they are probably lying.” I know that if I deny that I don’t care, I am really lying because I really do not care, and to deny it would be a lie. I liked what you said in your middle paragraph about someone knowing himself or herself best and not needed the input of others; the best Halloween costume (other than the sexy nurse) is the one worn by a person, not a group of people.
DeleteI totally agree with you that it is the time we live in that makes it hard for us to not care about others' opinions. Famous tweets and vines have become so common. Lots of people try to avoid being the target of these vines, like Muraad (sorry I don't know who he/she is). Humiliation and embarrassment are exactly what most teens try to avoid, and in doing so, they end up being alone. I don't think people's opinions have a great impact on lives unless if you try to do everything needed to impress them. Opinions are just opinions. They can be ignored. Its just some of us choose not to.
DeleteAlthough we say we do not care what other people of us because they are “irrelevant” we are always making sure we have society’s approval. There is to a certain extent to where you should have society’s approval and sometimes you just need to go with what society thinks because they see it from a clearer perspective. When you parents believe you should do something a certain way they are usually right in what they say just because of all the experience they have. I try to listen to my parents as much as I can handle because I am very stubborn. I do not like being told what to do and what not to do because I feel closed in and claustrophobic however I listen to them because I know that almost every time they tell me to do something it is to benefit me as a person. However I let myself, personally get caught up in what society thinks I should do. If something or someone makes you happy you should be able to do that something or be with that someone but somehow society gets in the way. I let society tell me what I can and cannot do sometimes and it literally drives me crazy. I look at myself and I watch myself let society tell me what I should do and I get upset with myself because yet again I feel claustrophobic. I am a stubborn girl who hates being told what to do, expect there are always exceptions. There are times when you have to realize that your friends may disagree with what you want to do and you listen to them and you care with what they are saying because they can see from an outside view. They have clear heads and they are wrapped up in the situation so they tell you what to do and you have to allow yourself to listen because they know what is right to do and they are telling you what is right to do. There is no doubt that we allow other people’s perceptions and expectations influence us. Why do we care? I still have yet to learn that because I hate caring about what other people think about me. I hate how it controls me but I cannot change that. I cannot just stop caring about what people think about me because what people think about you is your reputation. Society has rules that are made up by the people. We care about what other people think because other people’s thoughts are basically the rules. Everyone’s perceptions and expectations are so important because we look at that as the rules and we try to follow the rules so we are accepted. If follow society’s rules then we will be accepted. If we are accepted then we belong. If we belong then we will have friends and everyone will like us. –basic interpretation of why we care so much about “irrelevant” people and what they think.
ReplyDeleteWhy do you care about what I think about you? But the better question why do I care what you think about me?At some point or another we’ve all worried about what someone else is going to think of something we do or say or honestly anything that involves yourself and something else, to the point that it almost seems like a natural part of our daily routine. The truth is, though, we think this way because we get caught up in our heads worrying and wondering what possible scenarios may play out if we do or say something that others won’t accept.Or maybe what scenarios could happen where things go totally left and you fall apart about a so Little but so big thing that someone has thought or said about you.
ReplyDeleteFor example before I leave the house every day I look at my outfit and think to myself "I'm gonna walk into school and people are gonna be like what the hell is she wearing, what is on her face if my makeup is messed up, or her shoes don't match she's so retarded." all the chatter I have going on up there all the time.Our minds chatter is over the top in these cases due to years of social and cultural conditioning regarding our lifestyles, appearance, cultural norms, and so on. We are basically told what is going to be accepted and what isn’t as we progress through our younger years, ultimately creating a filter in our own minds that all of our thoughts and actions pass through prior to action.
All of these things are our self-consciousness and it happens to each of us in many forms and to many degrees of intensity. Like for myself the intensity is always at an all-time high for me and most times I feel like there's nothing I can do about it. Of course, there are some days I'm just beyond it all and I could care a little less than I did the day before but in not gonna lie and say there is ever a time I said I don't care what they say and actually fully mean it.I might careless, but there's little to no chance that I could honestly not care at all.But again Our self-consciousness holds us back from experiencing true freedom and expressing our true selves in fear of what others will think.I know I do it, but We all often do things in life simply because we are looking for validation from other people to make ourselves feel good. Our search for happiness and peace then becomes out of our control and reliant on people and things outside of ourselves.
But honestly their thoughts aren't always as bad as we think sometimes someone else’s criticism contains a valuable lesson. Sometimes someone who seems like a jerk really needs someone to take a chance on themselves. Sometimes someone else’s choices help us illuminate the path we really want to take because we've saw it where its lead .If we decide to stop caring in all instances that might push and challenge us, we risk closing ourselves off to insights, relationships, and ideas that could change our lives for the better if we stop caring what others think and potentially do the same for others. So caring a little isnt bad for the wrong things but caring extensivley about the wrong things is scary.
Humans are social creatures. We are born from another, raised by others, and surrounded by others. It is an inevitable part of human sociology to interact within their given ecosystem. Therefore, most of us in some way or another feel the need to be loved, wanted and understood. Without those three factors, people will feel as though they have no reason to exist. Now to the subject at hand. Why do we care about what other people think? Why do people’s perceptions of use have so much influence on us? Like I stated before, people want to feel loved, wanted and understood. Due to those ideas, it is only natural for us to be so concerned about how people think. If they think badly of us after we do not fulfill an expectation; we not only curse at ourselves for messing up, but also for letting someone else down. Humans after a tragic situation like that obtain a fear of losing the feeling of love or wanting from someone else. Both of which are factors that most can’t seem to live without.
ReplyDeleteIn terms of myself, people don’t influence me greatly, but when they do, it is for different reasons. For example, when I say or do something that makes someone happy, I feel as though I have obtained the three factors. I feel as though I am loved for my jokes, wanted for my company, and overall understood if they got the joke. It isn’t when I make mistakes or let someone down when I feel fear. The fear of loss of love, wanting and understanding. Ultimately, it is the fear of reaching out and being rejected.
I find what you said about the need to be loved, wanted, and understood, and that without those factors, people would feel as though they have no reason to exist, interesting. However, I would alter the wording a bit so that people need to feel at least one of those factors to feel as though they have a “reason” to exist; for example, if a person strives to educate people about science, but cares not for being loved but more for being wanted within the scientific community, that person’s reason to exist, he or she would think, would be both the need to feel wanted and understood, but not necessarily loved. I do agree that many people feel those three factors, but perhaps one or two of the factors become so important to a person that the third (or second and third) become forgotten and unnecessary. (Although this could just be my hatred for generalizations talking.)
DeleteEvery night I say to myself, " I don't care what anyone thinks, so I'm not going to braid my hair so it's wavy in the morning, and I'm going to wake up later because I don't need makeup on", that all changes in the morning. I wake up and look in the mirror and dread not braiding my hair and waking up later. So, I scramble putting on some makeup and quickly pull my hair up nicely. I do this because I feel the need to fit peoples perception of women. How we need to look good everyday, how we have to show self respect, but not too much because then we would be seen as conceited. But, this doesn't mean I never say "you know, peoples perception of me shouldn't matter, because I should value myself and be conceited sometimes." Now, parental pressure is very similar. I want to make my parents proud, so I make sure I get good grades and study as much as I can. Not making them proud devastates me. I feel like when I do I let them down. Like in the back of their minds they're thinking "well if she only studied harder, she would've gotten a better grade." Thinking, "I don't care what anyone thinks", is so Every night I say to myself, " I don't care what anyone thinks, so I'm not going to braid my hair so it's wavy in the morning, and I'm going to wake up later because I don't need makeup on", that all changes in the morning. I wake up and look in the mirror and dread not braiding my hair and waking up later. So, I scramble putting on some makeup and quickly pull my hair up nicely. I do this because I feel the need to fit peoples perception of women. How we need to look good everyday, how we have to show self respect, but not too much because then we would be seen as conceited. But, this doesn't mean I never say "you know, peoples perception of me shouldn't matter, because I should value myself and be conceited sometimes." Now, parental pressure is very similar. I want to make my parents proud, so I make sure I get good grades and study as much as I can. Not making them proud devastates me. I feel like when I do I let them down. Like in the back of their minds they're thinking "well if she only studied harder, she would've gotten a better grade." Thinking, "I don't care what anyone thinks", is so easy to say, but so hard to do. You feel like when you have that attitude, you're whole personality changes and people think differently of you. No matter how many times I say that, 5% of the time I will actually do it.easy to say, but so hard to do. You feel like when you have that attitude, you're whole personality changes and people think differently of you. No matter how many times I say that, 5% of the time I will actually do it.
ReplyDeleteI do the exact same thing at night when I decide that I'm going to wear that outfit tomorrow. Then, when I wake up, it's a totally different thing. I'm doing that right now about my Halloween costume. This morning I was so sure that I was gonna wear it tomorrow, but I'm not so sure now.
DeleteNo matter how many times we tell ourselves not to care what others think of us or not to listen to the negative comment a person said about you, as human beings, we do it anyways. Bunje was preaching during class yesterday and said something along the lines of listing all the bad characteristics of ourselves before listing even one good thing. Which is true, I do it all the time. When someone else acknowledges the bad stuff, it’s easier to believe it. Which we shouldn’t and I hate that we do. No one wants to be the one that gasses themselves up so much that they're gonna be labeled "full of themselves" or "conceited". “Stand out from society, be yourself” So simple, yet so hard to put into action within ourselves. No matter how much we don’t want to care, we just want to be accepted into society. We don’t want anyone mad at us. We don’t want to have beef with anyone. We don’t want to be judged. Instead, we take in what is said and walk on eggshells to make society shut up and not judge us. Aren’t we society though? So technically shouldn’t we be accepting ourselves anyways? I want to say yes, but we all know deep down it’s still not the same. I keep saying “we” because I know most have felt this way before.
ReplyDeleteI’ve had a breaking point in my life. I used to care so much of what one’s opinion was that I would literally change my original plan and go with “what was right”. I used to change my decision based on what people said. It wasn’t until recently when I realized I was doing what made others happy, not what made me happy. I was torn between the two and didn’t know what to do. In the end, I did what made me happy but of course there were consequences. I disappointed some friends very close to me. I think that’s one of the reasons why we care/why other’s expectations are so important because we don’t want to disappoint anyone. The problem there is, we can’t make EVERYONE happy so it doesn’t matter wtf you do as long as you do you *insert Nike symbol and 100% emoji*
I use the phrase, "I don't care" almost everyday. But deep deep down inside me I'm crying (not literally, well maybe sometimes) because I seriously do care. Most of the days I attend school, I don't wear makeup. Not because I'm against it, but frankly because my bus comes at 6:35 and I roll out of bed at 6:22. I cannot wake up in the morning for squat. So why waste precious valuable time I could use to be sleeping, to go put makeup on? It's ludicrous to me, that people can find the time every morning to do that, God bless. But although I am completely reluctant to putting makeup on, I feel self conscience almost the whole entire day. I constantly get nagged in my head by myself, "Do I look that bad? Do you look fat? Do you look fat AND bad? I should've put makeup on". I ask myself these because, I care what the people at school think of me. Not necessarily the boys, because my boyfriend doesn't go to our school anymore, and frankly I still didn't put makeup on to impress him, but my attempt to put it on was higher. But I care what the girls think. I'm always really self conscience because I'm fat, chubby, whatever category i fall into, and I absolutely hate it, I hate looking like a "WIDE LOAD" in the halls. I care if the girls think I'm ugly, or if they think I'm fat also. I feel a sense in myself of having to fit in. I don't really like going out with friends because most of all my friends are skinny, or toned, or whatever, and then here comes Respusha (from Norman, not sure if I spelled it right).
ReplyDeleteI care so much about what people think about me, it's indescribable. I care so much how someone thinks about me because I always feel the need to belong. I always feel that feeling, but most of the time I don't express it. I've become super anti- social in the past year- 2 years, and my anxiety has increased tremendously. So although I feel the need of belonging and fitting in with the crowd, I don't go seeking it. I believe that how people perceive you and what thoughts flow to them, impacts our lives. One, because you try to fit in. And two, you try to fit their expectations. If I didn't expect people to think "Oh she can't play field hockey, or row, because she's "big"?" Or "She can't run, she'll stop running, she's big" THEN I WOULDN'T BE A VARSITY STARTER, AND BE REWARDED THE UNSUNG HERO AWARD. I work my ASS off to make sure I can prove EVERYONE wrong. Besides my little rant, people's thoughts will make us work harder, degrade us, it can be a positive or negative thing, depending on how we interpret it.
Ang! You are absolutely gorgeous and every time you get on the bus in the morning, I say to myself "damn her hair is perfect". Your outfits, too. We can't help but care about what people think about us, but you should know that you're beautiful!
DeleteMany people have told me that I’m a people pleaser. I do whatever people want me to do just so I can make them happy. I guess this is true but only to a certain extent. It’s always easier to follow someone else and do what they want because then there’s never any drama. But it comes to a point where you end up like a doormat allowing people to walk all over you because of how easy going you’ve proven to be. The one person that you always have to make sure is happy is yourself. If you’re not happy with the decision you made, than it was the wrong one. Parents always say “we know what’s best for our kids” but I honestly don’t think they do. Especially with relationships. I understand that everyone has heartbreaks and goes through that feeling of love but not everyone’s is the same so who are they to tell me what’s right and what’s wrong. However, I know they only do it because they care but sometimes the person just needs to make the decision for themselves and for their own happiness. I feel as though people care about what everyone else has to say because they’re afraid to look stupid or because they’re afraid to be different. A lot of people call it “putting up a front” because people who show that they care “aren’t cool”. But in the end there’s always going to be that what- if moment, and people should follow things that will make them happy even if others don’t see it or agree with it at first.
ReplyDeleteBlog 6
ReplyDeleteOthers’ impact on the decisions I make used to be very substantial. I would change my entire persona as a reaction to one person’s insult or comment towards or about me. For instance, in middle school, aka the three years I wish I could block out of my mind eternally, I would beg my parents with low-income jobs to pay twenty dollars for a t-shirt with brand names plastered all over them in gaudy, ugly letters as opposed to a ten dollar t-shirt from Target because I wanted to please people’s perceptions of me; I wanted all the brand name stuff, even though I truly believed it was hideous, just to fit in and I wore it at the expense of my parents hard earned money.
Peer pressure never got me. In fact, I was usually the one doing the pressuring until I realized how wrong that was. On the other hand, parental-pressure and self-imposed pressure lead me down paths which I never expected to step foot on. I actually can’t remember a time that I was not burdened with “overcoming” a problem. Self-imposed pressure and parental pressure influenced my decision to sacrifice my physical health to appeal to what I believed to be my mental and emotional stability. However, the sacrifices I made and the lengths I went to just because I thought perfect existed and that, if it did, I was far from it did not benefit me in any way. I am aware of that now, but do not regret it because one day all of that experience will benefit me.
We care what others think because we are worried that everyone is thinking what we think about ourselves. We care what others think because we are insecure due to every factor imaginable. We care what others think because we feel the urge to belong and be accepted because sometimes conforming is easier than standing out and conforming is what we are taught to do; being unique and owning it may be preached but is hardly taught despite its need to be understood. We care what others think because we are taught to second-guess and doubt our own perceptions of ourselves. We are taught how to criticize and never how to love…never how to appreciate ourselves or one another. We are taught how to judge, rather than how to accept. This is why we care. All day long, I will say that we shouldn’t care. But the fact is that we do. Subconciously. Because we are taught to care about our image more than our personality.
Dana, I think we have all been at that stage, where we are begging our parents for the latest (and most expensive) toy, clothing brand, or electronic. Back then, our need to fit in was much greater; seeing that I was the new girl in fifth grade, it was hard for me to make friends because I hadn't grown up with any of the other kids. So I tried to fit in with their crowd because "conforming is easier". Our need to be understood and loved and cared about is far greater than anything else, even if you try to resist it.
DeleteI too am a fan of Eminem, and I have never heard of 97’ Bonnie and Clyde before this post. I can see why you don’t like it, as calling it messed up would be an understatement, but it is also a good song in some ways. He is sticking by his daughter through everything and even including her in the disposing of her mother that Eminem clearly has a deep hatred for. (That is pretty messed up but does show love for his daughter) Now on topic, I feel like everybody in some way lets what people say or think get to them, and if you honestly, completely 100% do not care I commend you. I am one of the many people who cannot help but to care when people say, do, or think things negative about me. I always find myself in the predicaments like when I am going clothes shopping and I find a shirt I like, and i go into the dressing room, put it on and look and the mirror and i ask myself “Will my friends make fun of for this?” or “Are people going to look at and think ‘tf is this kid wearing?’” Or when I say something stupid (which I say a lot of stupid things) and people say “You’re so stupid” although most of the time they are kidding I still think to myself, “No I’m not stfu.” These are things that really shouldn’t bother me and I should just do and think however I like, but the way my mind works I can’t help but care. I really hate this about myself and I wish I could just walk out the house in a teletubbies shirt and crocs and not feel any shame, but I would feel everybody making fun of me and it would hurt. (That was a very extreme example I would never unless I was being paid or lost a bet.)
ReplyDeleteI believe we feel the need to care because like the last blog post, we feel the need to belong. When someone is nothing like their friends or the people that they would like to hang out with, they may start to feel discouraged and want to change what they do. Same as when some mean bully says things like “WHAT ARE THOSEEEEE” it’s funny to most people, but to the person it’s being said to it is probably discouraging, hurtful and they really care. Again, there are few exceptions, some people just really give no fucks, but beside that most people’s minds really just tell them to care and they can’t help it.
I use to let other people dictate the way I acted or the clothes I wore because I wanted to feel accepted. However as I matured, I cared less about what people thought of me. I realized that I had enough of my own problems to be worrying about what others were thinking about. Of course, there are days where I care about people’s perceptions of me because in certain situations, it’s necessary. For example, if it’s your first day on the job you’re most likely not going to have that “I don’t care what anybody thinks of me” attitude. You’re going to have a very superficial personality because you want leave a good impression on your boss. But as you grow a rapport with the people in your workplace, you’ll tend to ease up and act like your true self. For me, this could relate to meeting new people. When I meet someone new, I want to leave a good impression. But, when I develop a friendship with that person, I show more of my personality. Then, I end up not caring not caring what the person thinks because I know they won’t judge me. As time goes by, I tend to care less. This is why I don’t care about people’s opinions as much as I did in middle school because I got older. I matured and realized that caring about people’s opinions is not worth my time.
ReplyDeleteI believe we care about people’s opinions because we do not want to feel excluded. Nobody wants to feel alone, so we change ourselves to be accepted by others. It’s not a good feeling when somebody insults you because you’re not the same as the majority. On another note, even if you’re faking the “I don’t care what anybody thinks of me” attitude, it’s not bad to think it. I believe that if you keep telling yourself that, you’ll eventually think that way somewhat. Then, your confidence may be boosted. In the end, we care what people think of us, just some more than others.
When I was younger I was really insecure about what people thought of me. I soon grew out of that, I still wonder what people do think about me though because at this point I'm not really sure. The reason why I did care because there's such a thing as fitting in. Its a lie everyone feeds in, something I used to feed into I was so scared about that never happening to me. It did and it's something I accept at this point and I'm happy that I did. Another reason why people would care about how other people think of them is because they may in a sense bother or bully that person which is something I can relate to as a reason why I would care what people think, but chin up and not worrying about it is the best thing I've done for the past years and instead of trying to get them to like you, try your best to understand the situation then leave it at that. In the end there is just you to care for yourself so if you think of yourself as a great person then that's how you are gonna treat yourself and not listen to other people opinions because that's what you don't believe in. I still take opinions of myself in consideration because maybe that person has a point and just maybe I need to better myself but any other way no. It's important to put in consideration because of these reasons. People's perceptions mean very little to me but when it comes to expectations that is something that bothers me. I was born into a family of people who don't really achieve much except for having us, as in the children. Wanting us to be the best we can but giving us to many guidelines of exactly how, it bothers me because what if I don't want to take that path in life. My fear is I will be afraid of what my parents think of me, What my parents think of me they consider is the equivalent of what maybe God would think of me. if I were to disobey them for what ever reason, unrealistic amounts of shame are poured onto me by them they are literally the only people I care about and what their opinion of me is. I hate that I do though how's it's set up like with them and me but maybe they are constantly trying to better me. I am not quite sure yet but expectancy from them is the hardest to let go of.
ReplyDeleteOther people's perceptions or expectations of who I am I know influence me on a daily basis. I do not believe it is peer pressure or parental pressure that is the reason for the way I act I believe it is self imposed pressure. It’s others perceptions of me that I really care about. Oddly enough almost every time I make a decision one of my first thoughts before i come to a conclusion is what will others think I think about things as simple as what I wear and who I associate myself with. The way others see me is so important to be but honestly I wish it was not. That is something I do not know how to shake though I have always cared about what people thought of me. I form my opinion of myself based upon others make up of me. So, if someone tells me I look nice one day I will feel good about myself. But, the slightest negative comment I will carry with me for quite a while.
ReplyDeleteLately I have been trying to be better with this. I cut my hair recently without care for what others would think which is a big step for me because I usually do not do anything without others approval first. As well as I have just ultimately been trying to be better and not caring so much about how others see me. It nevers leaves me in a good mood so I do not know why I care so much. I do not know for a fact that everyone cares about what others think of them but I believe that everyone does. It is just a part of our society. Approval of others is so important in work life (worker needs approval from boss, students need approval from teachers) that we have just made it mandatory for our personal lives as well (Kids need approval from parents, Kids as well need approval from others their age ultimately leaving them always self conscious).
Why do we care what other people thinks of us? I think it is because people's opinions can influence us and can changes who we are. The reason why we change is because it is like our last week's blog post, we feel the need to belong. No one wants to be in the center of everyone's attention and be laughed at or mocked. Just thinking about that type of situation, makes me cringe and feel fear. Mostly people just want to please others so that they don't feel singled out and be different. It is even worse when a stranger has a bad impression of you in just ten seconds. That makes it hard if you want to make new friends because they would think they know you before you can even speak about yourselves. When someone say “I don't care what you think”, 99% of the time it is a lie. I think most people have said that statement, and most actually cares what others think about them. It is something in our nature to think that way and it is hard to stop it or just ignore it.
ReplyDeleteJustin, bravo on bringing the two blog posts together and finding common ground. You hit the nail on the head, no one wants to be left out or made fun of, so we change ourselves and our actions. I'm sorry you are in an environment where you feel that you will be mocked! And people who get bad first impressions are the worst, you're right. But these are just the natural social interactions of the everyday human.
DeleteThe connection to the previous blog post perfectly fits. People often change their entire lifestyle to try to fit in with a group. I disagree when you think that strangers' opinion matter as much. I mean they do but not as much since the strangers do not know you, and therefore, cannot judge the book by its cover.
DeleteVery seldom do I say “I don’t care what anyone else thinks” and actually mean it, most of the time I use to combat my friends joking about my calves. When you say “you don’t care what anyone else thinks” it grants you an independence from society, and since most people blame society for their problems I can see how it’s used so often. I also think the saying has a sense of immaturity and selfishness to it, a part of growing up is learning to get along with other people. Personally I believe the “I don’t care what anyone else thinks” attitude is one of the biggest problems with society, everyone so concerned with themselves they forget the world doesn’t revolve around them.
ReplyDeleteI really do care what other people think. There is not a single reason why I care about what other people think, there are two that come to mind, though. The first reason is my ego. My ego is directly related to what people think of me, but not in the way you’re thinking. I keep quiet to protect my ego, I don’t say much because I am always scared I will say the wrong thing. I have always believed in “even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent”. The second reason is I like to avoid unnecessary conflict with people, I have always been this way. I will not discuss controversial topics with people unless I am asked too, I never want to hurt or offend anyone with my view on things.
Society has a norm that everyone wants to be a part of. We all want to be accepted by society and feel like we belong to something. For example, 50 years ago you could be successful without a college degree, in the modern era we believe we have to go to college in order to have a successful life. The norm now is that you must go to college to be successful. We all want to belong to the norm which is why we care so much about what other people thinks.
“I believe the [I-don’t-care-what-anyone-else-thinks] attitude is one of the biggest problems with society [because] everyone [is] so concerned with themselves [that] they forget [that] the world doesn’t revolve around them.” I agree with this; the world does not revolve around “them”, but the world also does not revolve around society either. The world revolves around nothing; it simply is. Take natural disasters, for example. The world causes a natural disaster and society reacts to it, thus causing the individual to react to it, because “society has a norm that everyone wants to be a part of” and restoring that society to its norm after the disaster would be the priority of the individual. This proves that, like you said, the world does not revolve around the individual. Instead, the individual revolves around society which revolves around the world which revolves around nothing. I cannot resist spreading some of my anarchistic political beliefs because, unlike you, I do not care if I insult people (call that a problem or not, but it is true): if society was taken out of the aforementioned equation of revolution, the individual would revolve around the world directly and thus would react directly, as unfiltered and undiluted in its actions entirely, with the world and personal growth, not societal growth, would be the goal of the individual. Thus, the individual would grow more than it does today, where society exists, and the priorities of man would finally be set straight, yielding a world full of better people in place of a society full of worse ones. A world, not a society, that I could live in.
DeleteSo, it’s 10:36. I’m eating Ben and Jerry’s “Half Baked” ice cream at a possibly unhealthy rate, and sitting here writing this blog that I actually think about a lot (whether I know it or not). I have said that I don’t care what anyone else thinks to myself numerous times, for sure.
ReplyDeleteJust because I say it, doesn’t ALWAYS make it true. There have been plenty of times when the opinion of others have a heavy effect on my situation. Like for an audition or tryout, or if you know a recruiter is coming out to watch you play. In order to get anywhere (or “get in”), you have to impress this person. For something like college, this process is very important for scholarships and whatnot.
Then there’s the parental pressure. And that sh*t’s always hanging over my head. Define my mom- GRADE HAWK. Literally, this woman checks my genesis like twice a day, everyday. She definitely pushes me very hard to get good grades in school and she almost always gets on my nerves when I just want to be left alone. But, I do my best to get an education because if it’s important to my mom and family, then it’s important to me.
Other people can influence us so much because it’s human nature. It’s human nature to want to “fit in” and follow others who are figures in society. We also live in a world today where looks are pretty much everything, so it’s no wonder so many guys and girls care about what other people think and say.
(yes it has been an hour since I started writing this post 😂
DeleteAuditions can be very rough. It's hard to separate the talent you have from the results of the judges. A few weeks back, I was really upset and confused about not getting selected for O'Girls callbacks. I kept thinking that maybe Tinsley put me in select choir because he saw how much I wanted it, not because I have talent. I was thinking he pitied me, and I didn't deserve to be in O'Girls or select choir. But that's not really the case at all. I worked hard to earn my spot in select choir. I may not get things as quickly as you veterans, but I try my very hardest to learn all that I can. I know I have talent, and I have passion. But I just wasn't a fit for O'Girls. I'm okay with it. I'll still love the songs you girls sing, and I'll be cheering all of you on.
DeleteAuditions aren't failures if you don't get what you wanted; it's only if that's what you choose to call it. I didn't fail to get into O'Girls, Tinsley succeeded in finding a fantastic group of girls for pop songs. So if you want, you never have to fail Erynn. It's up to you.
This post was really entertaining, actually. I totally agree with the parental pressure. My Mama doesn't check my grades so frequently, but when she does and it isn't too satisfying, she makes sure I hear about it for days. I'm used to saying: "Oh, that? Yeah that zero's no biggie. It's all temporary." I have tried to slip out of a lecture about the importance of education and how the Russian school system is sooo much better than America's school system many many times. But it's all because I care what my Mom thinks. And we both care about what our Moms think. We kind of have to in a way, don't we?
DeleteI try to tell myself, on every school day, that I don’t care what anyone else thinks, but deep inside, I know for a fact that I care. Sometimes, I would stress over this issue so much that I would get the urge to gouge my eyes out. I wonder if I am not making a fool out of myself. I care about how people interpret my actions. I wonder how people interpret and evaluate my speech. Popularity is a big thing in high school. I always try my best to adjust myself into the “cool kids” group. My decisions then turn into an entrance exam to the cool kids group. My decisions come down to a multiple choice test where failing results in me never being able to get into the cool kids group. Someone getting a 100 on the test exemplifies the cool kids group. It has become a secondary goal for me this year to be as close as possible to the perfect scorer.
ReplyDeleteI feel like people, including me, care about what other people thinks because he/she wants to fit in the better with the group. He/she does not want to be left out like an outsider like Ponyboy’s gang, The Greasers, was in The Outsiders. It is important for one to be a part of a group because being in one makes it easier for one to open up to other people in the group. Like mentioned in the last blog post, “belonging” in a group helps certain people advance in their life.
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ReplyDeletePeople who say that they’ve never cared what anyone thinks are without a doubt lying. Sure, we can all agree that we don’t care what some think but to use the word “anyone” is way beyond belief. You don’t care what your parents think, what your crush thinks, or even what your teachers think? Last week we talked about feeling the need to be accepted, for that reason what others think of us can have a monumental impact on our decisions and our actions. Whether you are shy or the biggest attention hog, we all need to feel loved by someone. If the person you love thinks negatively of or about you, your feelings will get hurt. This reaction is in our human nature because negativity is the opposite of love. So we change ourselves in order to avoid the negative thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI definitely care what people think. I won’t deny it. I’m really observant, not judgmental; the two words have very different meanings. Therefore, I ignorantly assume that everyone else is equally observant. But I also, not so ignorantly, assume that some people are very judgmental. It’s not that I am super self-conscious about myself, but sometimes I can’t help but come to the realization that someone in the room will eventually think something negative about me. Who wants that? I’m not talking about just peers. I want my teachers to think highly of me as well. It would crush me if my teachers all thought I was dumb and not worth their time. Maybe that’s just me. Maybe I’m thinking too hard about what is going around me and not enough about what’s going on on the inside.
Above all I know that I would never go to extreme lengths to change myself for another person because that is all they are, a person. We are all scarred, flawed, and yearning for affection, only some are better at covering those imperfections up. What makes me worth less than my neighbor? In all honesty we will never stop caring what other people think because we need to feel loved. Our only hardship is diligently picking the people whose thoughts we care for.
Wow...seems like a lot of us talked about crushes and teachers. *insert laughing emoji* I agree with many of your main points! Good job, Laine :)
DeleteI totally understand what you mean. You know, after I do stupid or silly stuff in public, I usually find myself feeling, well, stupid and annoying! I also do this when I look back on a conversation I had, whether it was with a boy that I like, or a teacher, even my parents. It's that negative thought process; we do certain things because we think that others will think badly about us.
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ReplyDeleteI know for a fact every human cares about at least one thing in this world being their family, friend pet or an object. I’ve said the phrase “I don't care” multiple of times knowing I really do, I look at the situation as a bluff to see how the other person would react. Throwback to freshman year when I cared too much about what my classmates and other students thought of me. As I became older “I taught myself to live simple and wisely” (my poem) and to care more about the main objective in school which was my grades. I care too much about how others see me in their own perspective. I don’t change myself for anyone so I act the same I just don't like negative vibes around me. I’m usually an easy going person unless I’m having a bad day which is highly rare. Now if I’m about to get interviewed for this job at a casino I’m most definitely going to act more postured and professional. I would care about what that person thinks who is interviewing me. I believe that the people that you surround yourself around are the ones who have an influence on you. The way your squad presents themselves, the body language they have and their tone can rub off onto you. In a positive way that's good but in a negative way you need to remove yourself from those type of people. Caring for those who you know has that same feeling towards you is nice to have, it's assuring knowing that you have someone to go to. Many nteenagers get peered pressured to do things. Thinking that we won’t get accepted by a certain group of people or whatever the situation. I honestly know what’s best for me and this is the one thing I can say I don’t care how others see me if they tried pressuring me to do something I know I wouldn’t do. Im just chilling fam shoutout to those who care for me, I care for you guys to. Time to hit the sheets fam.
I'm waiting on the week you have slow internet and you end up posting it at 1200 or 1201 but good points "fam" I agree with a a lot except for you being an easygoing person cAuss I don't know about anyone else but you piss me off every single day that's not easy to deal with
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